Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Showing posts with label embrace of love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label embrace of love. Show all posts

Tuesday, April 18, 2023

TODAYS DREAMS~TOMORROW'S REALITY

Holland had a dental appointment yesterday afternoon (we are trying to get all the dental & medical stuff done before we hit the road) … but before we left to cross the River from WA to OR, I culled more clothes out of my side of the closet: it was necessary, and I was brutal.

Another bag of clothes for the Goodwill … all mine; I never knew I was such a clothes horse! This make 4 overfilled bags, total count.
This is how much I've culled, trying to downsize to fit an RV 'wardrobe'.
These 'hanging clothes'  is what is left; + 2 of Holland's coats.
Text; leaving the driveway for Holland's dental appointment in Rainier-OR.

I'll go through Holland's clothes Wednesday morning: packing up {keepers} and ditching the rest - he trusts me to do this ;-)

Anyway; the stuff I am sorting through, and culling, will be dropped off at a Goodwill location along the route we take to shop for a truck and a trailer. We know what we want in both, but we also know we want to stick to our agreed Budget line. Plus, we do not have money in hand yet, so we are taking the time between now and then to budget shop.

Holland's appointment completed and back in WA, we decided on a leap of faith, to jet across town - cross the Cowlitz - and eat at Soltero's :-)

We hadn't heard back from Shay … but we enjoyed a celebratory meal, anyway ;-)

I knew the property appraisal would pass with no snafu's. The house buyers are getting a sweet deal - I've kept the house and lot maintained (with records attesting to that fact), even though I didn't really start living in it full-time until last year. Following Bob's physical death, I couldn't stand to be in the house more than waking up and falling into bed at night: I was gone all the daylight hours from 9 AM to 9 PM (and sometimes much later depending on how far I drove all day long). There hasn't been much wear-&-tear on the house or lot since 2018 after my life was seriously altered.

And even though I have Holland in my life now, and we have been living in this house full time - Holland always knew I wanted to sell and start fresh in new digs with new hopes and dreams. Thankfully, he is on board with that :-)

We have a Clatskanie-OR address we have paid rent on, and plan to update our driver's license a.g.a.i.n. (third time since December 2022 for me - twice for Holland), so we don't have to pay the hefty WA sales tax we'll be hit with when we buy a new vehicle and new home from OR lot dealers. We've visited several WA truck and trailer lots and haven't seen anything at all that piques our interest.

We have seen trucks that will fit our new lifestyle, in Oregon; so we'll buy in OR.

We've seen trailers in Idaho, Iowa, and Texas, that are what we want in a new home - and will travel those distances to purchase one if need be … but Holland is trying to keep the buying field in Oregon, to get both licensed there, where the taxes on both won't suck our bank balance dry ;-)

So, we celebrated - in trust mode that we'd be out of the house and looking forward to seriously trolling truck and trailer lots by the end of this month.

Location …
'No Name' lunch dish. DELISH! And I didn't have any food allergy complication :-)
Tom Petty - 'Refuge' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kkpDpL84-8 & Tom Petty - 'Breakdown' song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fsKsFU766Io)

By bedtime, we still hadn't heard from Shay, but I wasn't concerned: she's a busy gal with work, and her kids.

I know Elohim is "on the job"; He already has what we need ready for us … we just have to do the footwork and find it :-)


***************

This morning, I had an early morning appointment downtown to apply for a gun permit, so I jumped out of bed and got ready to get it done.

My new husband doesn't know anything about me, except what he knows from our time spent at Oak Point: he basically thinks I'm a piece of nice fluff with a cushy house, and real nice car - he doesn't know that I was raised dirt poor and know how to survive (he says he was raised poor too, but our views of 'poor' are very different: he comes from a monied family with a recognizable Name: I do not); he does not know that I drove several pickups, and a van, before I drove my smaller cars; he doesn't know that I was a crack shot when I was married to Bob; he doesn't know that I have lived on the road (before and during my marriage to Bob). I have told him all this, but he didn't know me before last year … and all he knows of me is that I was widowed - I dress nice - I own a house & a car, outright - & Bob left me a comfortable income (not rich, but not struggling, either) ;-)

He is in for a surprise.

I will rise to every occasion he is worried I may not be able to handle.

Holland is going to be surprised at how proficient I can be; and he'll be bragging on me when we come back up this way in September ;-)

Sparkly 'Charcoal Smokes' eye color with glittery 'Lionheart' inner eye accent; 'Auburn' Brow Gel; 'Burgundy' Mascara; & 'Neutre Enflamme' Cream Blush; 'Primrose' Lipstick & 'Pink Quartz' Lipgloss.
Tom Petty - 'Running Down A Dream' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzE1UGwIWt0)

The Permit process (fingerprints & FBI questionnaire) went smoothly, and the lady entered my hair color in, as 'Graying' because this year's recent Driver's license (my new married Name) picture shows me with red hair; it's a mystery to me, too, but the hair color showing is definitely Auburn - even though I am 66 years old and don't dye my hair; and am showing a considerable amount of {graying}.

So, I asked Holland what he thinks. He said, "Your hair isn't gray-gray, but it's 'threaded' with gray". We both agree that it is no longer red - of any shade ;-)

Does my hair look red? NO. It's crazy - but Auburn is the color showing on my Driver's License Pic.

Anyway.

The process is done, and I should have my carry-permit in a few weeks.

And, we did eventually hear from Shay: she said, "Congratulations! The house is sold; and it's the highest selling price in the entire Park."

The property appraisal for the buyers, was approved … and we'll be vacating before property taxes and space rent is due: direct answer to my prayer :-)

Shay will be coming by tomorrow for a final agreement signing.

The house sale is secured: HALLELUJAH!

The agent wants to walk through one more time, Monday or Tuesday (to make sure we don't steal a toilet; can you believe that???) - then, it's d.o.n.e.

Our moving day is April 28th.

PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSING FLOW :-)

Today's dreams are tomorrow's reality :-)

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

MY SWAN-MAN

Tom Jones - 'You're My World' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gla6bkc2Spk)

We woke up to snowflakes falling this morning, so we found some in-house things to do.

Holland checked his emails, and I was going through some of last year's widow journey files, when I came across an October'22 File that should have clued me into Holland's arrival on my life change radar ...

A.M. dream - I mistook Elohim's meaning ...
My rough drawing of what Elohim showed me.

The intent was accurate - my interpretation was not; I attributed the dream to missing Bob, instead of realizing it was Elohim's way of showing me it was time to move on and accept His Plan for this new chapter of my new life.

My January 2022 'Redeeming the Time' Post: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/02/shabbat-reflection-redeeming-time.html

The Ocober'22 Swan Dream was like Elohim was giving me hope that things will get better.
I'm glad I finally accepted the dream's full intent :-)

At the time of the swan dream, I had been attending Oak Point community church for an entire year at that time, studiously avoiding Holland's obvious flirtations: I wasn't ready to engage in romantic interludes. Plus, Holland was a Board member ... and the Board (jeanne paulson and luroy douglas, spearheaded the outright hatred towards me) had very specifically let me know I was unwelcome, and was very voiciferously making it known they wanted me gone. I did not know that Holland had gone to bat for me at every board meeting - I did not know because I was avoiding romantic entanglements. I was, in effect, putting Elohim's Plan on hold by keeping Holland at arm's length.

I was still dealing with widowhood adjustments.

I was also - through no fault of my own - dealing with naked hatred aimed at me by a greedy man fixated on money issues, and a bitter old harpy fixated on demeaning me in any way she could, because she could.

I was clueless - due to everything going down, as well as my self-imposed ignorance - that Holland was the swan Elohim had shown me in my dream.

But Holland wasn't clueless.

Tom Jones - 'There's Something 'Bout You Baby I Like' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZfA0okHVOo)

And he was letting me know, without actually verbalizing what I should have been paying attention to ;-)

My swan-man was getting bold; I was taking too long in noticing his courtship maneuvers ;-)
Tom Jones - 'Help Yourself' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eMz_JSU8TxI)
Holland in 1989; my swan-man has told me that Elohim gave him a vision of me at this time - there was also a prophetic word given ... with a witness, that confirms the vision.
Dan Seals - 'Saw You In My Dreams' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eFnRKShLghE)
Holland's {swan song} text; this was a complication risk that reaped lifelong blessings.
Bread - 'Baby, I'm A-Want You' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYG1VsWSZl4)
Bellamy Brothers - 'More Of You' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zvMXBeF9f2c)

This morning, my swan-man and I talked things over.

Marrying a widow is not for the weak hearted man. Holland has weathered a lot of insensitive talk. My younger brother actually posted on his FB Page - after someone (pretty sure it was that miserable old harpy from Oak Point) sent him a picture of Holland and I announcing our marriage: {Well, I'll be a...My older sister remarried. Good on her and very, very good on him. Congratulations, Sis and whoever. (Not like I'll ever meet him...sis and I have been estranged for going on 50 yrs. But I wish her, nor him, any ill will, but he's got a mark to reach to beat Bobby Hargand (but anybody would). Anyway, good on them both.} 

Holland took this crappy posting better than mw. I saw red: 98% of Sam's post was unadulterated bullshit, posted to gather sympathy for himself (1) I love Holland, else I would not have married him (2) Sam didn't even know Bob - I think they only said 'hi' to each a handful of times during our entire marriage (3) my siblings cut themselves out of my life ... and I told Sam about Bob's passing myself following Bob's physical death; and invited him to Bob's Celebration of Life, along with my other siblings. NO ONE RESPONED OR BOTHERED TO COME. Any 'estrangement' is on them (4) Holland is confident in my love for him; he is not in competition with Bob, who now resides in Heaven! That's just crazy talk - and it's disrespectful to me, as well as very hurtful to a man my brother has never met. Bob was ... Holland is. I love Holland for who he is; there is no comparison.

When I run into friends or get calls from them; and I tell them I've remarried, they are surprised and will usually say, "Wow. Congratulations." Then they follow that up with, "I just can't imagine you with anyone but Bob." (((HELLO PEOPLE!))) Holland is standing within hearing distance of that remark ... the insensitive remark didn't need to be verbalized.

Marrying a man who has been a bachelor for decades is not for the weak hearted woman. Thankfully, I've always been an independent woman who doesn't need a man to boost my personhood: I get along quite well solo lobo. If a man is in my life on a steady basis, he's in it because I want to share all of my life with him - not because my life is meaningless without him. I choose to make a place for him in my life. Just sayin.

I've only opened my life to 2 men: Bob and Holland ~ both are my swan-men in their own right; each fitting my life completely, in two totally different scenarios. I loved Bob while he walked this Earth with me for 44 years. I love Holland as equally deep - and I will walk this Earth beside him, for the rest of whatever timeframe of life Elohim grants us.

Tom Jones & Dusty Springfield - 'You Got What It Takes' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rb0gzExYdPM)

The Every Brothers - 'Let It Be Me' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnJQf1B-OUk)

A true blessing. Just for me :-)
Tom Jones - 'Love Machine' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7EcSiZM9nis)
Holland recently got his hair cut; I miss his curls. The good-looking boy is still visible in my handsome man :-)

We've only been married 46 days.

Adjustments take time.

Thankfully we are both retired and can make the most of our days; we have the time to sort things out; and talk them out. We don't want anything to come between us - we are still honeymooners. I've apologized for my family and friends' insensitivity ... and Holland has apologized for the recent Oak Point snafu: he understands now why I was so upset.

Change only comes to a person from the inside out; true, substantial, lasting change must come from a person's own heart, not from external pressure.

Elohim is working in our life for the betterment of our life, and we are taking a step back from life's snafu's.

And, as an added bonus ... we are engaging in a particular retirement activity that brightens the day and chases away any gray clouds that threaten to mar our happy place :-)

Starland Vocal Band - 'Afternoon Delight' song:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu1UXCdyNo0)

I was reading my cousin's FB Page this morning, when I saw a pattern for these cute crochet sloths. I started laughing, and said, "These are perfect for a retired couple statement; I'm going to make a pair" :-)

I love my swan-man.

Friday looks like a good day to drive to the beach; Holland likes the beach, and a beach day would be good for him. He spoils me - Friday will be a day to lavish a little spoiling on him, too ;-)

Wednesday, October 12, 2022

TODAY I HAVE A MESSAGE

Today I would be speaking publicly about my life story – my entire life story up to the present moment: only Bob ever knew my entire story, so this was a very big step for me.

And it wasn’t as hard as anticipated.

I was up at 6 A.M. … and out the door by 8 A.M.

Sparkly 'Gentle' for brow, & 'Winner' for eyelid; Glittery Green for eye 'liner'; Auburn Eyebrow Gel & Deep Green Mascara

I treated myself to breakfast to settle the stomach juices 😉

There were three speakers; our messages dove-tailed beautifully as we spoke Butterfly Language 😊

I spoke twice – to two different audiences.

And surprisingly … it was relatively easy to let go of past emotions tied to my past life. It was easy because love filled the room 😊