Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Showing posts with label Monday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Monday. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 20, 2021

WHAT A MONDAY!

This Monday started out weird … and was just flat out frustratingly strange, by the time afternoon was morphing into evening.

Driving out Rose Valley today.
Had a very strong impression to drive out Rose Valley. It's weird.

I had no desire to go for a drive today.

I was planning on staying home and dinking around in my garden area.

And I wanted to do some domestic cleaning around the house. I want to keep the place ‘domestically maintained’; so that if and when a new home becomes available, all I’ll have to do is sign on the dotted line … pack up and beat feet for new digs.

But the impression was so strong, that after clearing away the breakfast dishes … I threw up my hands and said, “Okay! I’ll go!” I quickly washed my hair - letting it air-dry, and pulled on shorts and a pullover top.

I hadn’t driven up Rose Valley in a while.

I wasn’t sure if it had changed like so many other rural areas, have.

It was refreshing to see, that though Kalama has been under socialist leadership for some time … there are still some people who are not so easy to keyhole.

Rose Valley is obviously Trump Country.

A road sign said that the road ended 16 miles ahead.

When I came to the end of the 2-lane highway, and saw the 1-lane goat trail leading up-Up-Upward … I wasn’t sure if the 16 miles ended at the end of the 2-lane, or continued on with the skinny ribbon of a road staring me in the face.

Curious to learn why I had been so urgently prompted to drive this way, I inched forward – praying I would not meet a log truck along the route.

I actually did not want to meet any other vehicle, either: there was no where to pull over – the ribbon of a road hugged the cliffside on one side, and the lip of the road on the other side, dropped sharply to the river below.

But, I was curious to know why I had been led this way.

The want to know, intrigued me.

Left off on Rose Valley Road, and entered a paved logging road - and MET A 4x TRUCK. A tight spot!

It was a tight fit 99% of the drive forward.

There was one spot along the upward route, where the road briefly broadened out – then quickly shrunk in on itself, again.

And I met more cars: where were they coming from?!

The higher the Highlander climbed on that skinny ribbon of a road, I could see scattered private summer homes of the wealthy; some year’round homesteaders, and several private campgrounds with travel Trailor hookups and porta-potty sites.

I actually started to pity the poor log truck drivers who had to deal with the summer vacation travelers on that road when log trucks were wanting to get to ... and from ... the landings, quickly to make payroll.

Plus, log trucks are not like regular trucks: log trucks are BIG – and they pack a heavy weight added to their own hefty weight; they take a loooong time to stop if their brakes get hot, or a pilgrim’s vehicle is handicapped in some way and finds itself in trouble on the road – I would not want to be dealing with a log truck barreling down on me, on that roadway during peak logging season.

Thankfully, that scenario was not in play today.

Got good news about the roadway.
6 cars passed me coming downhill, on that little 1-car-width ribbon of a road as I was driving upward.
And ... ANOTHER skinny ribbon of a roadway.
I honestly do not know what the urgency was to get me up this road; only God knows - and He didn't give a hint.

Foreigner – ‘Urgent’ song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHnNIoNUZig

Bob you better be proud of me! Aside from the high ribbon road, it was an enjoyable drive.

I was not looking forward to backtracking.

But it was necessary to get back off the hillside (I don’t think it was tall enough to qualify as a mountain – but it was steep).

An indication of how skinny the roadway was - barely wide enough for the Highlander’s passenger side to keep from scraping along the bluff.
And Kalama River in the distance below; directly below the driver's window ...
Ay yai yai …
Trump Country high into the hills of Kalama River Road, too.
The want for honey this high up, on that hell road, would have to be as insistent as the impression that got me here this morning.

I drove the high hillside for about 45 minutes (roundtrip) before touching down on the main highway again; and saw a log truck … it pulled out of a side road, a bit in front of me.

Nearing the main Rose Valley highway, my stomach was letting me know it needed something put in it to calm the turbulent stomach juices. I decided to drive into Kalama to Lucky Dragon: I would eat a small portion, and bring the rest home to break down into 3 more meals to pop into the freezer 😊

Exiting the paved goat trail and entering the main roadway, I saw a log truck pulling onto the road from a graveled spur, a little bit in front of me. The first log truck I’d seen all day 😉

Loggers were logging the lowlands today - thank Elohim for His mercies.
I turned off Fish Pond Road, towards the Lucky Dragon in Kalama.
Egg Flour Soup & Appetizer Plate - I broke that down into 3 meals for the freezer at home.
The Luncheon Special - also broken down at home. Prawn, Subgum Chow Mein, and Mar Far Chicken.

Homemade Subgum Chow Mein: http://mystainedapron.com/subgum-chow-mein/

Homemade Mar Far Chicken: https://www.recipelink.com/msgbrd/board_14/2016/JUN/38830.html

After lunch in Kalama, I found I was driving to the top of Kalama hill off main street, and driving home that high road.

Until this afternoon, I hadn’t attempted that height on my drives home from Kalama.

Bob did all the high elevation driving.

I was the nervous passenger on those cliff-hugging drives; rarely looking out the passenger window when we were on high elevation roads – regular sized roads, or skinny ribbon roads.

God does not have a spirit of fear … but Yeshua created us with a healthy sense of fear relevant to certain situations – and He remembers our frame: that we are humans, and gives us a Spirit of peace when we rely on His faithfulness in all situations.

It is normal to feel a small measure of fear, when it’s warranted: it’s not okay to be fearfully paranoid.

I believe Elohei has a sense of humor. I believe our lives are a direct reflection of His totality.

But today, it just seemed like Elohim kept prodding me onto high climbing roadways.

If there was a lesson to learn today, time will tell. But for the moment, I'm stumped about the urgent urging.

I was continually put in high elevation situations this afternoon – and strangely enough, I didn’t suffer any vertigo. Heights normally make me dizzy when I take my eyes off the main focus … like the climbing roadway in front of me. But when I looked down at the river waaaay far below me, there wasn’t any pin-pricking nervousness, or dizzying vertigo moments.

And, because I had crossed over the river coming from the heights of Kalama, onto the Kalama River Road; I decided to drive to the end of that, too.

It was there.

I was there.

Why not?

So … that’s what I did.

Road work out Kalama River Road.

The Kalama River Road climbed steeply, too; but it was a normal 2-lane highway. When the blacktop ended, there was a 1-lane gravel logging road … and I ignored it 😉

I turned around in a gated driveway, and got a good laugh out of the sign hanging on the chained gate.

A Veteran's Memorial waaaaaay UP high on the Kalama River Road - just before the Weyerhaeuser gate.
I turned around here, instead of chancing no turnaround by the gate up ahead ...
And busted out laughing when I read the No Trespassing Sign: I know, I've a twisted sense of humor.
After reading the sign, I wasn't sure if this was a memorial ... or a statement by a loner. Still not sure.

I came home via Old Highway 99, which drops into Kelso … by the mini-strip airport, there.

Kelso Airport: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southwest_Washington_Regional_Airport

As I was driving Talley Way, a little descending passenger plane, flew right over the roof of the Highlander with its landing wheels lowered to make a landing – I saw the shadow of it before the plane’s body filled the entire driver’s side window as it dropped to landing mode.

A little too close for my liking.

Bob and I had driven that road many times over the 44 years we were married … and I have driven it many times since becoming a solo lobo: there has never been a plane flying that low, or that close to our vehicles.

It did make me nervous until I saw it touch down on the landing field.

When I got to Longview, I thought I’d better top the gas tank off; I was at the halfway mark.

Pulling into the pump station, I went through the pumping routine, and felt like I was in the Twilight Zone when the pump kept going tilt. I finally had to go to the Station Master’s shack to ask him what was wrong with the pump. I explained what was happening, and he came a took a look and then fiddled around with something in the shack and told me to ‘go ahead and pump'.

So, I put the nozzle in the tank opening and started washing the bug guts off the windshield. The pump was beeping by the time I got done with the squeegee, so I removed the nozzle-hung it up-and waited for the receipt.

No go.

Back to the Pump manger’s Shack I went, and asked for a receipt.

He got a puzzled expression on his face, and said, “Which pump, and how much?”

I pointed, and said, “The window says $30.58 cents.”

Again, he looked puzzled – then handed me a receipt.

I pocketed it, and drove to my SIL’s house to tell her something I remembered that might be of help to one of Bob’s brother’s.

As I was leaving my SIL’s house, I happened to glance at the car’s dashboard, and saw that my reading still said I was half a tank empty.

W.T.H?

I was a fourth low when I left the carport.

I used a fourth of a tank running over the high hills.

I pumped gas a few minutes ago.

Or had I?

The pump had been acting strange: maybe it never pumped gas at all …

Back to Fred Meyer’s I went; in a huff.

When I got there, I told the guy – a different one than the last one was now on duty: I explained how the pump had been acting up. I explained how the other guy had looked at it, and was confused when I asked for a receipt. I said I was pissed that I had paid for $30 worth of gas that hadn’t even been fed into my car’s tank!

He looked at his cash register with a confused expression.

He told me to try again.

I did.

The pump refused to take my cards: my FB Bonus card, or my Debit card. It was refusing transaction, and telling me to talk to the cashier.

Back to the Pump Shack I went; trying to be calm.

I told the guy the pump was not behaving, a.g.a.i.n.

He came out and looked at it.

He watched me go through the ritual.

He “huh”ed.

FM better give me a refund.

He fiddled with things.

He said, “You can pay me $60 dollars, and I will give you a refund if you don’t use that much.”

I said I wasn’t comfortable with that since the pump was malfunctioning; all I wanted was to get a refund for the gas I never received earlier, so I could use another pump and go home.

He told me to wait: and went back to the Shack.

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Finally, I got in the car and headed over to Safeway to get gas there.

But, first I stopped by the Bank to have the $30.52 FM charge removed from my Card – I was not going to pay for gas I did not receive.

The bank teller said I’d have to wait 24 hours before it could be removed.

I closed my eyes and tried to rub a growing migraine away.

I said I’d be back in 24 hours … and drove to the Safeway Pumping Station.

I went through the Pump Station ritual there: NO GO.

WTH

Into that Station Shack I marched.

I was told my card was being denied because “there aren’t sufficient funds”.

I said, “That can’t be – there’s plenty to cover any transaction, in my account.”

She said, “All I can tell you is what I am reading on my screen.”

Back to the Bank I went.

The teller said my account funds had been “seized by Fred Meyer because there is a dispute about a gas transaction.”

I was furious!

I asked, “Can they do that? I’m the one that has been wronged, here: I was billed for gas I never received! How can they freeze my account?”

The teller said, “It’s a normal thing they do anytime there is a card transaction; they always put ‘a touch’ on an extra $100 as a cover fee.”

I was getting angrier.

I mean, they have no right to touch money that isn’t theirs!

They have no right to treat me like a criminal when the fault is clearly theirs.

I decided right there, on the spot, that I would never do any business with Fred Meyers again.

I will never shop Fred Meyers again - for anything.
FM has NO RIGHT to touch money that isn't theirs. I am furious.
Very pissed right now.

Bob would not tolerate this backhanded behavior; and neither will I.

I made another transfer, and was finally able to top the tank.

I can’t believe the mess that resulted at the FM Gas Station terminal, that ruined my good mood, put my credibility into question, and worked me up so much that my body was moving into asthma mode (stress can induce asthma symptoms).

Through no fault of my own.

I had better get back every single penny of that false $30.52 charge, by 5 PM tomorrow; or they are going to wish they had never tangled with me: I do not take shafting … or being put on the spot … very well.

Monday, May 17, 2021

NORMAL RESET

I got a notification in the mail a few days ago, informing me that activities in Castle Rock have opened back up – so I drove to exercise class this morning 😊

I drove via Westside Highway because I got a late start … and Westside Highway was the quickest route.

Westside Highway from Longview - 12 minutes.
Sandy Bend from Westside Highway - 8 minutes.
Castle Rock from Sandy Bend - 7 minutes.

Exercise Class was fun.

It was good to see people again: full face.

It was good to see people I haven’t seen in a year.

The morning almost felt normal, again … except for the fact that the building echoed due to the fact that most people are still not comfortable being in large groups of unmasked people: obviously they do not believe “the science”, having been victims of political fearmongering for a solid year (all year, every hour of every day – for 365 days straight).

‘Normal’ may have been killed with the 2020 obamanite-biden-pelosi coup; in which, covid was used as a battering ram to get biden illegally – and shamefully – seated, and harris installed with a meaningless title.

Anyway …

Those of us who did gather, enjoyed the class; and enjoyed spending time together, chatting without having to shout through layers of useless cloth that smothers the wearer, and distorts their speaking.

Exercise class was opened up.

My lungs were fine; the activity was brisk and my breath was short at times, but I did not need to use my inhaler: thank You, Yeshua!

Leaving Castle Rock, I thought I’d drop my weights off at home … then drive into downtown Longview to see if I could get into the Country Folks Deli now, without mask mandate hassle.

Driving into town, while twiddling my thumbs – sitting at a red light, I saw a truck ahead of me with a strange business name; the more I looked at it, the more it tickled my funny bone until I burst out laughing. The business name itself was strange, but wondering (with tongue in cheek) if some of Ireland’s fanciful {Little People} had been drafted into working off their mischievousness – kind of went with the fanciful name 😉

After I got downtown and parked, I walked into Country Folks Deli and seated myself: there was no banshee screaming about being unmasked.

YES!

I was in.

I entered through the back door, and ate in the back-end section of the deli.
I usually eat in the front-end; Bob and I ate in there for decades.
There are 'homey' touches at every booth ... I got the barn booth, this afternoon.

The atmosphere there, almost felt normal too – except that masks were still in evidence on some faces.

Mask wearing for extended lengths of time is not normal.

Feeling the necessity of wearing a suffocating mask, when it is no longer necessary to do so, is not normal.

Behaving in a paranoid manner because political browbeating has eroded rational thinking and behavior, is not normal.

I’m not entirely convinced ‘normal’ will ever again have a normal outcome.

But it was nice to be able to sit inside again, and engage in normal behavior, while in an abnormal environment.

I had lunch at the Country Folks Deli.
I ordered The Cowboy burger; none of it came home with me. I was hungry ;-)
My paperback came with me, to keep me company.
There are 44 chapters ... I'll be choosing a new novel tonight.
YUMMY!

Just before I finished the last of my fries, a song came on that immediately had my eyes tearing up …

Feel Like Making Love: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEuKkcX1uKA)

I pushed the rest of the fries aside, and I couldn’t grab my stuff and get out of the booth to pay my tab fast enough; the whole time, praying I would not break down in front of everyone before I could get to the privacy of the Highlander and cry it out there.

Images of us, came fast and furious to the forefront of my thoughts. Us – young and falling head-over-heels in love. Us raising a family, and grinning over the heads of the kids (and later, grandkids) when the song came on; on the radio while we were driving. Us, eating out, and Bob grinning and wiggling his eyebrows at me when the song played in the background.

The roomy deli suddenly got a lot more confining as the memories grew.

Finally, the tab was paid and I could escape outside – where it didn’t matter if tears fell, before I reached the car.

My {normal} hour had dissolved in a heartbeat.

I have been doing so well in this widow life.

I have been feeling (and hoping) I was past the watershed period in this new life.

I do know that emotionally I am in a better place than I was 10 months ago.

I’ve been walking this solo lobo life for 28 months & 3 days: my heart has scabbed over, but obviously the healing scar is still tender.

Listening to that song play in the background before I could pay and take flight, brought back the fact, that for me – personally and for wholly different reasons than covid madness, life will never be ‘normal’ again. Bob’s absent physical presence, will always be the missing puzzle piece in my personal life’s jigsaw puzzle.

I felt stupid, sitting in the car and crying.

Because of a song playing in the background of a restaurant.

I’ve been doing so well.

I am actively engaged in building a new life.

It’s a good life – even with the missing puzzle piece.

I really need to hurdle these emotional handicaps and grab life by the tail – a ‘normal’ reset.

I dried my face and drove home.

As I parked the Highlander in the carport, I noticed that my Irises are blooming 😊

I decided to finish planting the rest of the garden boxes before the forecasted rain arrives – gardening is a normal activity, for me.

My variegated Irises are 20 years old. I bought them when we bought our 1st home in Longview - they've been moved to 2 other homes.
Planting the pre-sprouted bush beans.
Planting the pre-sprouted Patio Snacker Cukes.
Cucumber cage.
Acorn and Butternut squash planted.
Spaghetti squash & Zucchini squash; wing flapping patriotic bird attached to fencing stake with baling wire.
Pre-sprouted Hopi Corn seedlings planted & staked against the river winds - this is a blue corn.
Hoping to salvage a broken tomato plant - the river wind was strong today.
3 kinds of potatoes planted in color-code baskets; Red Pontiac (Red Basket), Russet Bakers (Blue Basket), & Yukon Gold (Kelly-Green Basket); I know … I’m a weirdo ðŸ˜‰
I hope this frightful looking creature does not pay my garden a visit.
Time to call it a day - looks like the forecast rain is arriving.

That task accomplished, I worked on some house slippers I’m kitting up for the Rosburg Hall Fall Bazaar – they still need to be shaped to a foot form, and tagged.

This is normal activity in normal days past … current days, and the foreseeable future: in this way, my life is still normal 😉

Knitted Slippers for Rosburg Hall Fall Bazaar. Sizes 6-6-1/2-8- & 10 on the needles.

And I’ll spend the remainder of the evening, watching the sunset while listening to the sporadic rain; and finishing up the novel I had with me this morning.

Tonight’s sunset.

Reading books is normal for me. There was a time I always had a book in my hand – no matter what I was doing: waking up/going to bed/cooking meals/doing laundry/taking a bath/riding as passenger into town … if I didn’t have a dime-store paperback in my hand, I was reading the kids a story from a child’s storybook.

This afternoon was the second time I have carried a book with me when I left the house: it is normal behavior.

Rain falling from the sky is normal Washington weather.

Aside from that one episode in the County Folks Deli, I’ve had a pretty normal day in a continuing abnormal time.