Here is the truth …
I will always be Bob’s Wife.
I will always be Bob’s Widow.
Those 2 are intrinsically linked.
If I live to be 80/90/100.
If Elohim puts another man across my path,
and I spend the rest of my life with that person: I will always be Bob’s Wife –
I will always be Bob’s Widow.
The love that I experienced.
The heartbreak, and soul squeezing loss that
I endured.
Those things will never disappear – they won’t
go away.
No matter what the future holds for my life “in
the now”.
My heart, my mind; my life, will always love
and miss – and grieve – my husband.
The husband of my fantasies; the husband I finally,
by chance met, married & lived my life with and for, for 44 years.
44 years can’t be erased by Death.
44 years can’t be supplanted by a new life …
or a new love, if that be Elohim’s Plan for me.
I will always love my husband.
I will always have a place for Bob in my
heart, in my thoughts, in my life.
I will always talk about the man I loved –
and love – so deeply, and so passionately.
I will always laugh, and cry, unexpectantly;
when my mind reminds me of the moments, we shared together … and my heart
reminds me that there will be no more shared moments together.
I will always be blessed, and thankful, that
I had the privilege of living three quarters of my life with the love of my
life.
I will always be Bob’s Wife.
I will always be Bob’s Widow.
But I am also, so much more: I am me.
And Me is, coming up on 2 years Solo Lobo, “becoming”.
Those who have followed my posts to my Blog –
and to my FB Page as well – have noticed the evolution that has taken place in
me as my life shifted and changed to fit my new status in life as it unfolds.
As I move forward in the process to “become”.
Both, my Blog and FB Page engaged decades ago,
started out with extended friendship; that led to sharing personal insights concerning
my Faith, marital relationship with my best friend – my husband, juggling of family
interactions, homesteading tips, home ownership, home renovations, daytrips,
and vaca’s … and most recently, widowhood.
Both, my Blog and my FB Page have always been
geared towards helping others through what I, personally, have experienced and
gained knowledge from. I am not a “professional” in any one of the topics
mentioned in the previous sentence – I am just me; Val, doing the best I can,
and passing on what I have experienced: if what I have experienced is
beneficial to others, I am glad to be helpful.
I will always be Bob’s Wife.
Those experiences and lessons learned are
still valid.
I will always be Bob’s Widow.
The experiences and lessons I am learning,
are valuable.
But I am also much more than that.
I am a person in my own right.
I am friend to those who chose to include me
in their lives.
I am a sojourner on this plant, Earth.
I also share my experiences and lessons
learned on those topics.
Sometimes those areas of my life are touched
with the tinge of Grief too.
Sometimes, not.
And I’m okay with that.
And most people who find their way to my
Blog, and to my FB Page, are okay with that too.
I like knowing that my life still has purpose
to those who seek me out.
For 22 months, I have felt adrift: I had no
purpose.
I felt useless.
Forgotten: by everyone, but Elohei.
Not lonely … but, alone.
It is good to be helpful to others.
It is good to be helped by others.
It is good lives are being shared.
And that …
Is Kaleidoscope Truth.
No comments:
Post a Comment