LAST YEAR’S EXECUTIVE DECISION …

This time, last year, was the hardest time of my life.

Not only had we been told Bob was dying, but I was put in a position that could have ended my husband’s life immediately.

I don’t regret that decision – BUT I DO REGRET taking Bob to ER in the first place.

I believe with all my heart, that the hospitals actually tortured my husband in their “saving his life” endeavors.

The hospitals, and Bob’s family, ALL made his death harder and more painful than it needed to be.

This is what was posted to our FB Page last year – today:

**********

Valeria Hargand is feeling emotional :-(

September 5, 2018 at 9:31 PM

Was at the hospital all day long today.

And yes, the showdown with Bob's son happened. He started to run the show and override his father and I, and I just held up my hand and said, "Back up. Your input is welcome BUT you DO NOT get to make decisions FOR your father. HE makes his decisions. And when he can't, (((I))) will make executive decisions on his behalf."

And I had to hold my own with his pushy sisters too before the day was out.

Bottom line: doctors want to stop his heart and then restart it to stabilize an erratic heartbeat as well as bring his heart tempo down from 140 to a manageable 90 or so. Bob flat out said he did not want that and I honored that decision. That upset EVERYONE - doctors, nurses, son, sisters, mother ... you name it. BUT that is what HE DECIDED. Then another doctor came in and said that since Bob's speech was slurred and he was fidgety and confused he was probably in the beginning stages of Alzheimer’s and THAT is when I BLEW. I said, "STOP already! For 6 days you people have pulled out the medical stops and diagnosed him with one thing after another - throwing stuff at the damned wall to make it stick. and NOW you are trying this! STOP! For the love of God, STOP! My husband is NOT crazy; he was doing fine before we brought him in here last Thursday and you started pumping him full of crap. He was doing just fine 2 days ago BEFORE he was shifted here to ICU."

The doctor said, "Well he's been pulling at the IV's and pulling at his clothing for at least 3 days." And I said, "He DOES NOT WANT to be HERE. He has anxiety issues since he died for the 2nd time 30-some years ago, and he has NEVER wanted anything close to his neck ... not even my lips. And he does NOT want those IV's in him - he DOES NOT WANT any of this!"

The doc said, "What exactly doesn't he want?" And I waved my arms at the machinery, the IV's, the gown he kept pulling down from his neck ... "THIS!" I said, "he does not want ANY of this! If he is going to die, he wants to die at home in comfort with his family around him; not being poked, pulled at, pinched, examined, grilled when he is drugged out of his mind, and surrounded by strangers."

Doc said, " Well, he is not coherent enough to make a medical decision for himself tonight, and we will stop all meds on your say so. We'll hold him until tomorrow without medication, and see how he is feeling then." I said, "Fair enough. IF he wants the heart thingee - he can have it; if NOT, I want him released to go home." And the doc agreed.

And the nurse on staff when I went to kiss him goodbye at closing time, WAS GIVING HIM MEDS!

So that is where things stand as of now ...

PLEASE PRAY.

Thank you.

**********

And I STILL believe this too – nothing has changed my absolute faith in Almighty God. Bob & I both prayed His Will be done … and for the strength to face whatever His Will would be.

His Will was that Bob would go Home – we are both okay with that: