MAKING IT {OFFICIAL}

Bonnie Raitt – ‘Love Sneakin’ Up On You’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG_Ii8_J9xg)

A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN 4 DAYS!

I didn’t want it to happen.

I fought it.

I denied it.

I did everything in my power to ignore his advances … and make it go away.

But, Fate won’t be denied.

Everything came to a head when Holland was in the hospital with kidney stones, a few days ago. I have known for a year that he has been flirting with me … but I wasn’t ready to let go of the memory of Bob. About two months ago, Holland got bolder in his attempts to catch my attention – and I kept shutting him down. Gently. Firmly.  Two weeks ago, Holland actually texted me, spelling out clearly what his intentions were:

Holland's bold Text; 11-22-22.(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/11/complications.html)

I pulled over to the side of the road and stared at the text for a good 15 minutes before responding. I cried. I did not want this. Friendship – yes; romance leading to marriage – NO.

I even flat out told him to “look elsewhere – I’m not interested in romance; I still love Bob”: (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/11/it-aint-me-keep-searching.html).

Mr. Complication was persistent.

I don’t even know when things changed on my end!

All I know … is that things did change … from my adamant denial on Thursday – (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/12/think-pink-breathe.html) – to agreeing to a “coffee date” on the following night (he had released from the hospital around 1 AM Friday morning). I got a text simply saying, “I’m home. We have to talk.”

Things spiraled into {official dating} in turbo speed.

The past three evenings … sandwiched between small-scale home Christmas décor, hiking, my Monday & Tuesday Life Coaching Meetings, and Sunday Fellowship … have been enlightening, exciting, informative, and moving quickly towards building a permanent life together (not sure when that will be ‘official’). We’re not rushing into anything, but permanency is being discussed. We’re Senior Citizens – there’s not a whole lot of time to pussy-foot around 😉

We have a lot in common.

I find myself smiling when he calls, or texts; we are friends – I like spending time with him. Though he is very different from Bob … there are similarities of character. Friends think it’s cute when they hear him call me ‘Baby’ (they don’t know that’s Bob’s pet name for me; and I didn’t cry when I heard Holland say it to me). I didn’t pull away when he touched me, like I thought I might: Bob’s the only man that has ever held my hand, or hugged me, in 48 years; 4 of those years, I’ve been a solo lobo widow quite content to remain single – Holland has changed that. The kisses are quick and tentative pecks, and Holland is understanding. This dating thing is unfamiliar territory to me. He gives me space to breathe and get comfortable with these quick paced changes; he is not rushing me. He is allowing me to set the pace. I appreciate that.

Holland’s been on fire for 15 months – my feelings are sparking.

I never expected anything like this. I never encouraged it. I’ve been blindsided by the Love Bug.

Christmas Cactus is spreading big time, and blooming all over.

The first casualty of the season ...

Finally using the Christmas Angel, I bought at a Garage Sale 2 years ago ... I like it.

Christmas decorations in place, for 2022 Season.

The router doing the funky chicken dance; Friday night. GRRR. It got replaced last night (Monday).

New Read started & finished before midnight.

A frosty morning walk along the dike hike trail; Saturday.

Mule deer on Old Pacific Highway.

Time for new slippers; the stone floor in the kitchen tore the bottoms out of this pair!

Meeting The Family; Sunday Morning.

Jogging Santa.

'Official Date' Nights; Sunday, Monday, Tuesday ... and ongoing ;-)

Bonnie Raitt – ‘Thing Called Love’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iTzDrB16y5E)

Tom Petty – ‘A Face In The Crowd’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4O7amyo0ABU)

Holland likes my 'fun side' (the flashy 'Redneck Princess' side of me); & he put this smile on my face.

I called my kids and got their input on the situation; I heard, “Go for it!”

I feel that if Bob is watching this thing unfolding, he is smiling and applauding this next step forward in my New Life.

My laptop has been on the fritz since Friday evening: the router needed to be replaced. Holland came by tonight to see what he could do; and got it up and running 😊

And because my laptop background pic is of Bob … he got a closeup view of the man he has been competing with for ownership of my heart. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t appear to be uncomfortable. He knows there is room in my heart to make a space for him; he knows because I have told him that.

He also heard me say (one Sunday Fellowship Day), when I went forward for prayer, “I am asking prayer for direction in my life. I want e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. God has for me.”

Holland knew something I did not know. Holland waited for me – he will still wait for me, as long as it takes (which, all of a sudden, is a short period of time).

I did not want this. I did not sit around waiting for it. I actively discouraged any flirting. But Holland waited 35 years for this … and my heart is softening, and ready to take the plunge with all the complicated risks. This is a new experience; and yet I am totally comfortable leaning into it 😉

I am comfortable with Holland; and more than a little surprised that I am totally comfortable with the love he has just for me.

Thank You, Father, for the divine provision.

Thank you, Bob, for making me hear your approving encouragement when I didn’t want to.

Thank You, Yeshua, for Your peace that passes all understanding.

Thank You, Ruach HaKo’desh, for the tie that binds.

Mr. Complication & Me; we made it 'officially known' yesterday afternoon.

Bonnie Raitt – ‘Something To Talk About’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5SNQr7k380)

Holland was not 'thrown' by seeing Bob's face for my 'Background' Laptop Pic (the first time he's come face-to-face with Bob - 2014). I am fortunate to be so unconditionally loved by the two unexpected men, Elohim favored me with.

I am no longer denying the inevitable.

Fate always has its way 😉

2023 is going to be very interesting.

THINK PINK & BREATHE

I woke up to snow on the ground, here, this morning.

7:30 AM

I had a car maintenance appointment in Kelso around noon – the street looked fine, so I kept the appointment 😉

I decided to wear pink today. A lot of pink 😊

On my way out the door, I grabbed my latest read, and stuck it in my purse – it’s a good read, and it keeps my attention; I’m already ¾th’s way through it.

Keeping everything in the pink range of color.

'Primrose' Lipstick & 'Pink Quartz' Lipgloss; and 'Grape' nail color & 'Crystal Clear' topcoat.

Car maintenance appointment this afternoon ....

Driving back home, I topped the gas tank, and noticed the price has gone down a bit … and I also got an invite to lunch at the Indy Diner on Industrial Way 😊

A breather with the gas prices.

Blue Burger; Indy Way Diner.

Listening to Christmas music while driving home on Old Pacific Highway, those pesky peacocks were stopping traffic again. They really need to have their wings clipped! They are pretty – but they are also a nuisance.

These peacocks are going to cause someone to wreak.

I had barely gotten around the pesky birds, when I got an incoming text: Mr. Complication was in the hospital ☹

That bit of news was additional complication. He has the key to the building where the Jam Sessions are held – people needed to be told the session would be canceled. Another friend texted me and told me that the roads would be too risky, and everyone needed to stay home; I agreed … but I also texted back saying the people who would be showing up (those used to driving in the iffy weather) still needed to be told the session was canceled: I needed to get into the hills and meet them with the news when they showed up (some people are weird about giving their phone numbers out).

So, that’s what I did.

And I’m glad I risked it because the roads were really not that bad, and people did show up. I arrived safely, and the news was relayed. I really didn’t have much to tell them, other than he was in the hospital.

Not a lot of snow.

The drive home was a little dicier – there was ice under the slush; but I drove very cautiously, and managed to get back home in one piece 😉

A bit icy, and a lot slushy; I drove very cautiously over that hill.

The entire drive over the hill - and I didn't care if the drivers behind me were getting angry.

When I got home, I ate Supper and decided to see if I could find out anything more about Mr. Complication’s situation. I spent hours on the phone (no one knew anything more than I did). When I got an actual person on the hospital line, I even went as far as hinting that I was a “close friend” (and I would have had the info if the test results had come in faster); all I managed to get from mutual friends was that he’d been throwing up earlier at his house, and drove himself to the hospital with severe pains, he thought was an appendix attack.

Hearing how severely he had been throwing up – immediately sent my thoughts into flashback mode, remembering Bob violently throwing up before I rushed him to ER that horrible day, that landed him in ER with a death sentence hanging over his head.

Around 9 PM, Mr. Complication texted me that he had been diagnosed with kidney stones. OUCH! Again, flashback memories hit fast and furious. I literally had to school myself to calm down and breathe calmly.

All the memories and feels that went with those memories were crowding my thoughts: Bob’s situation spiraled out of control because he didn’t feel the pain like a normal person would (so he missed the warning pains), and an infection set in that could not be controlled; which led to his physical death … Mr. Complication feels the ouch; he will fare better than my Mr. Wonderful did.

NO! I do not love Mr. Complication! But, he is a friend, and I don’t like to think of him suffering that kind of pain. I hope that this affliction will be tended to quickly, and that he will be on the mend speedily.

DECISIONS

There was a lot going on today – and most of it was accomplished 😉

While the coffee was perking, and I was starting to dip into my face prep arsenal … I got a text from the dentist rescheduling my cleaning appointment. I okayed it, and continued putting my face in place 😉

The 'arsenal'. Hahaha

‘Gentle’ for browline, ‘Mic Drop’ lid color, ‘Groovy’ for upper eye liner and accent color, & ‘Turquoise’ for lower eye liner.

'Millennial Pink' Lash Primer (pumps up the lashes 😊), 'Auburn' Brow Gel, 'Glam Brown' Mascara, and 'Coral Ember' Creme Blush; 'Nude Intense' Lipstick & 'Coral Crave' Lipgloss.

'Hail Cherry' & 'Crystal Clear' nail polish ...

While I was reaching for my purse, I got a text telling me there was snow falling in the hills – and school bus drivers had been sent home: no school. So, I called a few people who live in the area I needed to be in this morning, and asked how the snow situation was there. I was told “snow is falling, but it’s not sticking.” So, I risked it, and kept the Tuesday Meet appointment.

Bring it on, world. LOL

Snow sticking in the hills ...

And I’m glad I did: the meeting was great 😊

The discussion was good; fast-paced, and productive. Everyone was in a good frame of mind, and I was able to teach and interact without disruption.

Questions considered during the Morning Meet: Do your present circumstances prevent you from being happy? Are you one of those who say, “I will be happy when … I find a partner, get married, get divorced, find a better job, make more money, have kids, my kids get older, I have more time, lose weight” … etc.?

Take a minute. Breathe. Relax. Consider that there are plenty of people in similar circumstances or even much worse off, yet they are happy. We all know people like that – people who, despite their current circumstances and situations, are happy and unflappable. Sometimes we are left scratching our heads and wondering why they are so self-composed when everything around them is total chaos.

They are unflappable because they have found the key to personal happiness, no matter what.

Happiness is an attitude, not something that is dictated by your circumstances. It is a choice you make in each and every moment about how to live your life. Leading a confident, loving, and happy life improves your relationships, career, self-image … and overall outlook on life.

So, the take-away today, is to realize that all of those factors that are holding you back from realizing your {happy place}, are just excuses to waylay you from attaining your pursuit of personal happiness. But the good news, is that those excuses can be turned into a rewarding and profitable self-examination to probe deep, and find out what is really going on in your life right now.

In reality, you are no different than anybody who is happy: no more and no less … you simply have not yet begun to take measures to change your attitude – and happy people have.

But it is never too late.

You are always one choice away from bringing about change 😊

Remember the people I posted about yesterday that had me laughing so hard – during yesterday’s Meeting? Well, they showed me a snippet video of the televised deer incident … and I was laughing all over again. Now, if I ever see this couple’s faces while in Toledo, I hope I do not burst out howling with laughter.

Lynn Chestnut/Deer Attack: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khKrd1RNy2U)

In small towns, people run into each other. And since I’ve seen their faces, I’ll recognize them when I see them – and remember the craziness of the decisions which led to the relayed stories told to me (and “proof” shown me, today) 😉

The local roadways stayed clear from ice and snow all day long (thank You, Yeshua!), and I was able to get e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. done (renew my Driver’s License, and schedule a car maintenance appointment) before the end of December!

I’m glad I decided to stop by both places on my way home 😊

Another 1st without Bob; Driver's License renewal - and I removed the Passport Feature.

I was also able to get the Highlander in to be serviced, Thursday morning. Praise God!

Now, if the snow seriously starts to fly and stick, I don’t have to leave the house unless absolutely necessary 😉

I finished Clive’s book last night around midnight; so tonight, I’m going to explore another book, that promises interesting reading …

New Read.