My life has changed so much since December 2018. I remarried January 7th, 2023 ... we sold the house, sold our vehicles - and bought a new 4x, a puppy, & a 5th Wheel to travel the mainland States and experience life in the slow lane. As always I record e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. happening in my life: I will share lots of pics & vids of our USA travels: I hope you enjoy our Blog.
My older sister, Iris,
died this evening at 5:30 CDT ... 5 hrs/27 minutes ago.
I always knew about Iris,
since I was 10 years old - and heard the adults talking. I was always curious:
I wanted to know about this person who was older than me.
I asked questions ... and
was immediately shut down. The adults talked about her existence among
themselves - but they didn't think "that" was something to be shared
with "a child".
I don't know what would
have happened had my parents not met, got married, and got pregnant with me. I
know they were all caught up in wartime drama; and the result was electrifying.
But, since finding out
about her, I always loved Iris - ALWAYS. There wasn't a day gone by since I
heard her name mentioned, that I did not love her.
When I met my husband,
and we started dating exclusively, I told him about my older sister; who I
never met, but was aware of. I told him that I loved her; and I wished I could
know her. I wondered what she looked like - where she lived (did she live in
Germany, or did she live in the USA) - I hoped she had a good life.
And I always hoped we
would meet someday.
Elohim was faithful :-D
That day came shortly
after Bob graduated to his forever home above the clouds, December 14th, 2018 - Iris called me shortly thereafter. My youngest sister, Carla had done a 23nme DNA test and that is how we all connected.
Though we didn't actually
meet face-to-face, our hearts did meet via a phone call and FB connection
following:
I was excited! Elohim was answering a prayer decades old: He was
favoring me with my sister's voice!
I wished Bob could have
been here for that airwaves "meeting"!
Bob would have liked Iris
too - she was SO EASY to like.
Iris & I talked several
times - phone & FB; I cherished every convo.
She will be forever
missed in my life.
I feel blessed to have
had time spent getting to know her - brief though it was.
I drove up the Toutle; it was a nice sunny day –
just right for a Fall Funday Drive. Bob spent time up Toutle while growing up:
his parent’s camped at Silver Lake; in his teen years, he and his pals spent a
lot of time swimming on Tower Road, a spur off the main Toutle road; and his
parents bought a piece of property near Silver Lake; right on the main highway,
and Bob lived with them for a bit when he and Gloria were split up the first
time. I spent time on the Toutle before I even saw, or knew, Bob: my Uncle Don
Anderson, helped build the Spirit Lake Highway Bridge – and both families, his
and mine, camped the summer on the Toutle while that bridge was being built: my
cousin, Timmy, hunted big fat, long, night crawlers by flashlight – and sold
them to the Silver Lake fish shack for summer money. Timmy also taught me how
to fly fish that summer.
And Bob & I spent a lot of time in Toutle
over our 44 years together ;-)
It was an emotional drive … BUT ALL the drives
are emotional drives, because the drives I do are places Bob & I went for
44 years. I can’t stand being cooped up and penned in by 4 walls; so, I have to
get out of the house quite a bit – and Bob understood that: we were taking
drives almost every other day after he took early retirement 8 years ago.
Sometimes we’d do really-really-LONG drives (like 16 hour round trip drives,
or overnight mini vaca’s; sometimes we’d do a week long vaca. But mostly we
just did quick short drives, like over the Delameter loop, and back home).
I really needed this drive today.
And these emotional drives are getting better
and better – I’m not shaky now when I get in the car, and I don’t feel like I
am having a near heart attack when I go places without him next to me. It’s a
bittersweet experience, & memory jog now. I’m happy I HAD those times with
him, to remember; so, I don’t let those memory flashbacks bother me like they
used to, when the loss of his presence was so fresh & raw. I still feel his
absence in my life, but it’s not an acute missing – his absence doesn’t throw
my heart into seizure mode now.
I know I want to get back into the mountains –
specifically Mt. Rainier, but honestly, I am not confident that I CAN DO that
solo – or even with Kerry as a traveling companion (I like to be on the road
A LOT … and Kerry isn’t my husband; he will not want to go with me whenever I
wake up with the ‘urge to surge’- like
Bob did. Bob loved me – Kerry doesn’t; Kerry will humor me; to a point).
Mt. Rainier is a VERY LONG drive; and I tire easily now – there is no way I can
do that drive on my own: Packwood, on the edge of the Mt. Rainier National
Park, perhaps. And that’s okay … I like Packwood, and that would be a nice
place to visit too; and it would keep the daytrip significantly shorter. I am
thinking I may have to rethink day trips and keep them fairly local – like the
trip I am doing today.
I was thinking, when I started out this morning,
that the drive up the Toutle would be just a quick 1 hour drive: but it was quite
a bit longer than that: I really have NO concept of how long the drives we did
were because Bob always extended them for me because he knew I needed to be out
of the house for a bit – so now I KNOW, for future references - that this round
trip drive will take me 4-1/2 hours from start to finish; Packwood would be the
same time-frame as today – so it is totally doable ;-)
From Longview to Packwood Map
Getting back to today’s daytrip … I went over Delameter from home, for a nice, leisurely country
drive all the way around; and - as happens in a country setting - a deer passed in front of my car just before Ragland
Road, up Coal Creek Road:
Map from Castle Rock to the Forest Learning Center - which was as far as I went this afternoon. It was a nice drive; the day was perfect for it.
Coming off Delameter, and entering Castle Rock,
I stopped at Select Market there and grabbed some fried chicken tender strips …
Passing Silver Lake, a memory of my cousin, Timmy’s smiling
devil-may-care face flashed before my eyes:
Along the drive, I stopped by Punkie’s house and
told her about Bob’s graduation to Heaven in December 2018. Bob had lived on
Bill & Punkie’s property for a bit while his crew logged up the Toutle –
their house was the place he died in, in 1981 – when he was dead for 25 minutes
before Elohim resurrected him and scared everyone; before he was rushed off to
St. John’s Hospital to be tested for 72 hours and leaving doctors mystified as
to WHY he died. Punkie and I had a nice visit; I always liked Punkie. I think
she is only about 75 years old; I have known her for 48 years, and love her
like an older sister. So, that is another loose end that has been tied now.
After that visit, I drove over the first of MANY
bridges on the Toutle – the first one was the one my Uncle Don built (I said
1970’s in the video, but upon reflection, I realize it was really the later end of the 1960’s) …
The logging road where our 2 families camped along the river during that time.
Kid Valley is rife with legends: Bigfoot & Harry Truman, among them. Driving through
Kid Valley, Harry Truman immediately popped into my memories. Bob actually knew
Harry Truman; personally. Bob told me some pretty colorful stories about Harry
;-) And what Bob said was true: Harry refused
to leave during the evacuation; and he died when Mt. St. Helen’s blew her top:
Recalling Bob's recollection of Harry Truman, as Bob knew him.
Bigfoot Statue - not sure if Kerry did this one or not: we had heard he did a Bigfoot. Kerry did artistic stuff like this. And he was GOOD at it.
Helicopter Sight-seeing Rides over the crater.
I think another reason – and more than
likely, the main reason – Bob didn’t want to finish the Aviation Course was
because his wife at that time, Gloria, had slept with His Instructor, Bill
Hudson; who was Bob’s friend at the time. Gloria slept with ALL Bob’s friends.
It was her way of really digging the spurs in to hurt him, and it was really a
rotten thing to do: and it showed the low characters of those questionable men too. When he told me that, I said, “Babe, those guys were
NEVER your friends – friends DON’T DO THAT. If these guys were your friends,
they would NEVER have slept with your wife.” Bob had a LOT of things to
overcome when we were dating. He had really been betrayed, and hurt
badly.
As the drive progressed, there was a definite
nip in the air, the higher in elevation the road climbed. It was a nice crisp
day – not cold: just right. I crossed another lengthy bridge spanning the gorge
at about 1,000 feet. As the tires left the bridge at its other end, and
touched down on the blacktop, I was thanking Yeshua; and thanking Bob for
helping me do this: I could never have done this without knowing they were
both with me during this journey.
Bob’s brother, Kerry, lives on the other side of
that bridge. Kerry helped with the establishment of the ‘Eco Park’ – a ‘resort’
camp that is supposed to be eco-friendly in every way possible. BUT, because
they really screwed my BIL, Kerry, over; I never promote them …
I have never been to Kerry’s home in the Mt. St.
Helen’s area – but Bob was, several times. I think the video above is correct,
though ;-)
Crossing the bridge, I spotted a definite
ancient Cinder Cone. I wanted a picture of it, but I couldn’t just stop in the
middle of the bridge … even if I WANTED TO; I could not have done it.
Heights really bother me. So, I was thankful, when a few feet off the bridge, I
noticed it showing through the tree foliage :-D
And THEN … the Bridge I KNEW I would HAVE to
cross appeared! I girded myself, and prepared to meet it head-on. If Bob
were in the car with me (actually in the flesh), I would have changed places
with him and made him drive over it to get to the other side.
But, Bob is no longer here.
I was on my own. 'God help me’
That bridge was VERY HIGH, and the gorge bottom
was very FAR BELOW. Even as a passenger, this bridge scares the hell out of me.
But; it was time to ‘grab the bull by the horns’ so to speak; if I
wanted to get from ‘here to there’. The bridge is 2,000 feet in elevation – and
I literally cried with relief, when I made it to the other end without incident
…
Crossing Hoffstat Bridge. Bob could never get me to drive across that bridge when he was with me. So, I was really THANKFUL to both Yeshua, and Bob, for getting me safely across that thing!
Coming up on the Rest Area & Viewpoint on
the other side of the Hoffstat Bridge, the right side of the highway had
cracked and slid quite a significant piece before settling. I don’t like that;
that slippage means the road is unstable in that spot, so I don’t know if I’ll
be going that distance again in the future. Stuff like that is worrying.
I finally reached the ‘Forest Learning Center’
& Gift Shop (http://www.mountsthelens.com/Forest-Learning-Center.html)– I was amazed I actually DID it ; Bob usually drove us this far
because when we reached the Hoffstat Bridge, I would refuse to cross it – he
would have to take the steering wheel if he wanted to view the Elk herd.
But, I HAD to cross today.
For several reasons.
I believe we were up here last, about a year and
a half ago. We had our grandchildren with us – to show them the Elk herd. We
also bought some things in the Gift Shop, but ran out of cash before I spotted
the Bigfoot Coffee Mug; so, I bought that mug today ;-)
Ancient Cinder Cones
You don’t have to worry about Grandma, kids; I’ll do okay.
I decided not to push on to Spirit Lake – I only
had ½ a tank of gas left, and wasn’t sure how much further up the highway the
lake is: maybe another day, I’ll try. And I will leave the carport with a full
tank of gas, instead of ¾ full. Just to be on the safe side. Bob would
know how much further along the road – and how much gas would be needed: but,
Bob is not here now; and I don’t know.
I went further up the Toutle that I thought I
would go. And I accomplished crossing that Hoffstat Bridge! So, that was as far
as I wanted to push things this afternoon.
So, I turned back towards home.
Catching sight of the Tower Road road sign, I
decided to drive that way; it loops around to Spirit Lake Highway, and I knew I
would have enough gas for that. I was looking for a specific bridge – the Tower
Road Bridge – because Bob would tell me that he used to dive from the top of
it. For some reason I assumed the bridge was one of those old green painted
metal bridges, but all I saw was a concrete one … and people swimming in the
waters below. So, I stopped and asked if this was the Tower Road Bridge. “It
must be” is what I got from everyone – no one was a local, so they weren’t
sure. I never saw another bridge along the Tower Road road, so it must be :-D
Tower Road Bridge. I never saw Bob dive from this bridge (or the original bridge either; but I did watch him dive at other swimming holes, rivers, creeks, and swimming pools. He was awesome to watch – he swam like a fish. He taught our kids to swim too; and they also swim like fish ;-)
I grabbed some river rock to haul home, on my way back to the car. They are blue, green, and red ones. This picture does not do them justice.
The sky viewed through the sun/moon roof.
I may have to drive out here just to spend the
day by the river; it’s not that far from home ;-)
Passing back through Castle Rock, on the way
home, I saw a Farmer’s market in progress – so of course, I had to stop …
Turnips. I bought 2 bags; I like turnips in the Fall & Winter months. My garden fizzled out this year.
Saw this sign in the Books & Pub window, when I passed it on my way back to the car from the street tents.
I only used a little over ¼ tank of gas; that’s
pretty good for a relaxing drive.
The entire trip was done on backroads.
The best way to travel. MPO ;-)
My shoulders and neck hurts a little – but I am
sure that is from the long solo drive; and I was gripping the steering wheel
pretty tight going over those stinking bridges spanning the gorge. SIX OF
THEM!
Bob would be proud of me.
I can almost hear him saying, “I always knew
you could do it, baby; you just have to have faith in yourself.”
I love you, Babe.
Always.
OX
Gift Shop goodies
I know what I KNOW - I don't care if people think I a crazy. I know what we experienced. I saw our wolf's (1/2 Timber wolf/1/2 Gray wolf) fearful concern for out granddaughter's safety. I will never forget that wilderness experience. I will never forget that hauntingly eerie sound - it was unearthly. Bob & I are country people, and we NEVER heard any wild animal sound like that!
Tomorrow, I will start pulling things out of my
garden boxes, and getting the boxes ready for their Winter downtime. I’ll drain
the rain barrels too – and see if Mike can help me tip them so they empty
completely before I store them, until Spring 2020.
Hopefully I can spend more time in the garden
area next year instead of being tied up with legal business in town, like I was
this garden season – and hopefully the sun will make a better appearance next
year too: my garden suffered pretty bad this year because of those 2 factors,
which I really had no control over at all :-(
I love the blues - and Bob heard Johnny on one of the blues channels he was listening to one night while driving his truck; so, he called and said, "Hey, baby: I am listening to a guy you NEED to hear - turn the radio on to this channel ..."
This song, tonight, reminds me of that September when I was a new bride (only married maybe 5 days), and Bob was forcing me to go to school - he promised my stepfather I would finish my Senior school year: I WAS PISSED. I hated school.
Anyway, I was trying to figure out what I wanted to wear the 1st day. And Bob didn't like any of my choices.
He kept saying, "You are NOT wearing THAT out of this house."
I finally said, "What is wrong with them, Bob?"
Bob said, "Well, that skirt is too short"; "those jeans, with the patches across the ass - they're so worn they will tear out when you bend over; they need to go into the garbage"; that tank top - FORGET IT".
Finally, in exasperation, I said, "That mini skirt you're complaining about - YOU LOVED it when I wore it dancing last weekend": "those jeans you are worried might tear - they have been TO EVERY DANCE we went to this Summer ... these are my lucky dancing pants, and they haven't 'torn' yet"; and "that tank top that has your hair sizzling - YOU BOUGHT IT FOR ME.": "Bob, YOU LIKED all these things on me last week."
And he said, "I did - yes; BUT now, you are my wife ... and you are NOT wearing those things to school."
So, I said, "then we need to go clothes shopping, because this is all I have - and if you have a problem with them today, when they were perfectly okay last week ... we need to go shopping."
Those things were perfectly fine; but into the garbage can they went.
And into town we went.
M.E.N! They can be so strange about their wives ... and what they wear.
I played it so much the cassette tape literally wore out; LOL
I used to love watching Bob sleep - he looked so peaceful; almost boyish, when the troubles and stresses of his long, hard workdays were not so pressing during those few short hours.
Loving him, and being loved by him was the sweetest thing I've ever known.
Denial is a powerful drug - does Dolly LOOK "115 pounds" here???? Of course NOT!
Today, is the real start of my new life without Bob.
My goal is to lose at least another 30 pounds – I will be comfortable with that … and a whole lot healthier too.
And I am going to try losing the extra weight naturally.
Unlike Dolly, who claims “her weight never changes”; according to her, she has “always been 115 pounds.”
Yeah; right.
WRONG.
I am old enough to remember when ((((I)))) WAS 115 pounds WITH a chest to rival Dolly’s … and there was a WHOLE LOT MORE OF HER spreading out below her waist – LOOK AGAIN AT THE VIDEO ABOVE – does that look like 115 pounds stuffed into that pantsuit?
I still have the chest, but when menopause struck, my ass grew into my boobs.
Dolly ALWAYS had an ass … UNTIL she became famously famous – then her ass shrunk, and her boobs expanded.
UNNATURALLY.
While Dolly wore a girdle in the 1970’s to rein her trashy ass in, it was pretty damned proportionate TO her large – but not excessively large chest: above her waist, and below her waist, things were pretty ‘even steven’.
But country ‘trash’ doesn’t go over well in high-end-LA-trash - even reined in with a sturdy girdle, and off-set with BIG hair.
So, around the 1980’s, when she hit pay dirt in Hollywood, her ass shrunk significantly and her boobs were noticeably inflated.
Dolly discovered plastic surgery.
Dolly discovered liposuction.
Dolly discovered breast implants (she didn’t need implants, but as she came into midlife, she didn’t want her boobs to start heading south …)
Dolly became a multimillion-dollar Barbie doll practically overnight – an adult version of a fantasy Barbie doll: and her chubby-cheeked-face was resculpted too.
She is a savvy business woman, and sold that enhanced trashy version of herself for all it was worth!
Now, I am not going to begrudge Dolly her due: she sold herself in the 1970’s, and won the monetary rewards she was hungry for. I bought several of her LPs myself because I liked her music. Then, as she started aging, she took stock of her image, and reshaped, repackaged, and resold herself. And she has been truthful about those changes.
But, for her to state that her “weight has never changed” is just a blatant, bold-faced L.I.E.
She {MAY BE} “115 pounds” NOW … but back in the 1970’s, she was waaaaaaay PAST 115 pounds; by ANYONE’S SCALE:
Dolly – Chunky 1975. I am willing to lay $$$ down that Dolly was around 165 pounds in this picture: EVEN WEARING a girdle to slim those hips and that ass down some …
Being chunky is okay; lying about it is NOT.
I admit, I am chunky.
I am 20 pounds lighter than I was before Bob stepped off this planet, in December of 2018; but I can afford to pare some more of me off. Loose clothing makes me LOOK fatter than I actually AM - but, for the time being, I am too chunky to wear my shirts tucked in ... right now, it's a lose-lose-situation :-(
There is no reason to lie about it: pictures and mirrors don’t lie – they reflect what is visible to the naked eye. I’ve never been a skinny Minnie (and never wanted to have my hip bones sticking out); the Hargand’s like to eat. Bob liked to eat. I enjoy eating. It shows … on all of us.
Family Reunion 2016 (Bob in the checkered shirt).
And even IF I could afford plastic surgeries, liposuction, and implants … I WOULDN’T DO IT. Personal choice: I don’t want a surgical knife anywhere near me – ever; and I don’t want non-organic things in my body.
I intend to lose 30 pounds naturally, too; if I can actually lose the menopausal weight without estrogen supplements – which I firmly reject. Again, a personal choice. I made that choice at 16, and see NO reason to change that decision. None.
Bob didn’t mind me chunky: Bob loved me. ALL of me.
But, now, I am alone – and I am officially a Senior Citizen; I have to think differently – I have to be more health conscious. My bones, though healthy now, will begin to get brittle. Extra weight will be bad on them. My anginaic heart is aging along with the rest of me, and it would do much better if it didn’t have to work so hard to keep up with the extra weight. My weak lungs, already stressed by chronic bronchitis & environmental asthmatic flareups, would not have to work so hard, if I could shed the extra weight.
I am alone now.
I have to think differently.
I am already eating differently: more lean, and more calorie conscious.
I have embarked on an exercise regime again – brisk, but safe enough for a senior citizen ;-)
It may take ALL of what’s left of 2019, and ALL of 2020, BUT I am going to give it ALL I have, to pare off those extra 30 pounds that are wearing me down physically, and putting extra stress on my heart & lungs – both, of which, are already weak; and have been all my life. Now my body, and internal organs are older too, and will continue aging: I need to pay attention and pamper them now. Only God knows how long they have to last me …
And when I DO – if I can – I am NOT going to lie and tell everyone, “I have always weighed 115 pounds; that never changed.”
I don’t WANT to weigh 115 pounds – that would be too thin for my personal taste, concerning my personal body shape. And I will still be pretty curvy when I shed those 30 pounds, BUT I will be healthier than I am today.
And THAT is okay with me ;-)
I am not a teenager anymore.
And my skin is not as elastic as it was before menopause struck: I am aging, and so is my body. In every way imaginable.
I am not husband shopping: and never will be interested in another man.
I got up early this morning, having only had about 4 hours of sleep, and headed out for Eden Valley ahead of the kids: I needed to be there before 11 a.m. … earlier would be better; so I shot for earlier, and prayed like crazy Dave would be there early – and that Kerry would arrive early too.
I asked my friends on FB to keep me in their thoughts, and to pray for me today – and I FELT those prayers lifting me, and keeping me, all day :-D
The trip was pretty uneventful, EXCEPT when I met an oncoming log truck on KM Mountain (just a big hill, really); it was coming at me with its left wheels a bit over the center line – and that kinda worried me, because there was no place for me to go, except in the ditch if it didn’t stop hogging the center line. My right wheels were hugging the far white line on my side of the highway as safely as I could without sliding into the ditch. It went past me with no incident … but it was CLOSE. Too close for my comfort. But, I reminded myself that loggers and log truck drivers have very early work days: most of their “days” starts at 3 a.m., and by 9 – or 9:30 a.m., they have already put 6 straight hours of work under their belt with little to NO downtime: they are beat already – and they still have a long day ahead of them until they can sign off their work day at 5 p.m. That said, it WAS a dicey situation, and it did worry me some.
But Elohim was faithful ;-)
I arrived at the Rosburg Hall around 9:45 – I had pretty much been creeping along the roadway from home, so as not to jar the headstones and damage them. I was ahead of schedule, so I decided to visit for a bit with Sonja (Bob’s mother’s lifelong friend) & Frieda (Bob’s Aunt; his father’s sister), and have a quick cup of coffee before heading on to the cemetery. After I finished my coffee, and was walking to my car, Ken Elliot, who was weed-eating around the Hall, walked over to me and said he was sorry to hear about Bob – and asked how I was holding up. I said, “Thank you”, and “I’m doing okay.” Bob grew up in the Valley with the Elliott boys: Bob’s family lived in Eden Valley, and the Elliott family lived in the Altoona-Pillar Rock vicinity, a hop-skip-&-a jump down the road past Eden Valley; Ken’s brother, Brian, and his wife Linda, moved into the Elliott house about 25 years ago, and turned it into a B & B. It is a beautiful antique house, but the road to get to it is a HELL RIDE – steep, rutted, and very, VERY narrow; we went up there a few times and the road really freaked me out. But, according to their FB Page, they are doing a booming business with the tourists that enjoy giving themselves heart attacks by death-defying cliff climbs:
Elliot House (aka, Dahlia House).
Ken and & talked for quite a bit, reminiscing about Bob, the past, the time he was part of the chaperoning team that went with our girls (Stacey – our daughter, & Traci – his daughter), and the rest of the Wahkiakum Track Team when they participated in the 8th Grade Junior Olympics Track Meet in Florida. As we were winding up our trip down Memory Lane, Alyna & Liam pulled to a stop in front of my car … and we commenced on to the cemetery – and I was glad to see Dave there already.
We all introduced ourselves; and I liked Dave right off. I was sure Bob liked him too ;-) I saw the area had already been prepared with the hole ready & waiting … AND DRY, thank God, after the rainstorm we had last night – Dave said it had rained there too, but, the ground was really very dry (even the backfill on the tarp was dry too); and the hole had been covered …
So, I thanked Dave for being there to lend a helping hand, I thanked Elohim for favoring us with dry conditions despite the rainstorm that went over our areas, and I had a private moment – remembering the beautiful body and handsome face that Bob’s spirit lived in and enjoyed while he lived on earth, and loved me as a man; I kissed the Urn Box and let my mind remember before it was buried - never to see the light of day again until that great and glorious Day Yeshua returns to claim His Own and graves are opened, followed by the Rapture of the Church:
Yeshua had given Bob such a beautiful and handsome earthen vessel for his spirit to dwell in for 69 years. Bob was altogether beautiful inside and out ... I feel privileged to have had Bob in my life; to have had the pleasure of his pleasuring & pampering; and all the love he lavished on me. I am a better person because Bob loved me.
Then Dave started backfilling. He did so with tender care. Liam & I helped with cleanup. And as I peeled back the tarp, A BLACK GARTER SNAKE slithered out of the tarp fold! I jumped and dropped the tarp edge like it was on fire – the guys looked at me, and I said, “Snake!” The guys exchanged looks that had laughter in their eyes, and I looked at the sky and said, “Not funny Bob! Stop laughing – you KNOW I hate snakes!” I don’t, for one minute, believe that Bob had anything to do with that snake being in the tarp fold … but, I DO believe he was laughing as he watched the whole little drama unfold because he always laughed when I was spooked by a snake – even a semi-baby snake like this one was. And he would say exactly the same thing Liam said – “It’s only a garter snake, Val.” I don’t care! ALL snakes look the same to me: ICKY!
Backfill complete. I was thankful for Dave Brueland’s help.
Backfill done, it was time to tinker with the headstones, so I asked Liam if he’s help me carry them 1 by 1 from the car, to the plot block; he agreed – so we went after them.
And as I was reaching for one end on the first one we decided to pick up first, Liam said, “Oh, they aren’t that heavy: I can take both of them.” ARE YOU FOR REAL KID? Those things are H.E.A.V.Y.
But, HE DID IT …
And Alyna jumped into the fray too, and helped with the placement of the headstones – jiggling them and juggling them; lifting and setting them, until everyone was satisfied they were level and “right”:
Then, Dave started slicing the sod. And he heard me tell the kids, “I wish my headstone could be close to Bob’s – like my head was close to his head every night for 44 years. It seems silly for it to be all the way over there in a separate plot when my cremains will rest next to his (above his, actually, as 6 urns can fit in 1 plot) in this plot. But that’s what Heather said has to be done …”
And he stopped the action, and said, “If that’s what you want, I can do that for you.”
So, I said, “You can? Then ((((YES!))))That is what I want – I want my headstone as close to his as you can get it.” So, a new plan was set in operation. YAY!
Side by side. Always. ~OX
Alyna helped with adjusting the headstone depth. What a trooper.
I am MUCH happier with this arrangement.
That done, I thought of another use for the sod block that had been sliced and lifted. And Dave thought of the same thing :-D At practically the same time, we both said, “That sod can be repurposed to place over Bob’s Urn Box placement.”
So, that is what happened :-D
Repurposed sod block used to cover the raw dirt over Bob’s Urn Box placement; MUCH BETTER!
And, I swear, I could FEEL Bob watching our endeavors, and loving administrations to honor his existence when he walked as we walk; and to lovingly care for his cast off remains, now that he lives above the clouds: I am sure Bob was smiling and approving ;-)
The sky directly above us ...
I was really proud of the kids today – they really pitched in and helped – out of genuine love. I am sure Bob is proud of them, too. Everything was finished that needed to be finished before people started arriving - Kerry was late. But, it was okay. I kinda felt guilty asking him to help anyway: he is grieving too. Kerry was willing to help ... but now, it was not necessary ;-) Like I said before, perhaps it was better this way - the kids helped Dave help me; and it was a true family experience. We had closure in a real, cohesive way. As a family. Immediate family.It was right.
As that sod block was being tamped with shoe toes into place, our oldest Grand-daughter, Krisalee showed up – she flew in from the Connecticut earlier this week, and drove up from Salem, OR (where she had been visiting her mother) this morning. It was a looooong drive; and I was happy to see her arrive. Safely :-D
And then extended friends & family started arriving.
Danny & Terri Eaton were first to pull in. I was happy they came after all. And I was SO glad for Bob! They were friends all through high school, as well as Bob’s first marriage – and they stayed in contact … albeit spotty at times … all their adult lives. Bob’s brother, Ralph, (2 years younger) started talking with them:
A nice sized gathering took place; I opened the time of sharing with Psalm 91:14 thru 16: “Because he has loved me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him securely on high, because he has known My Name: he shall call upon Me – and I will answer him. I will be with him in trouble. I will deliver him; I will honor him. With a long life, I will satisfy him. And show him My salvation.” I shared with them that the Grim Reaper, had 3 times, before December 14th, 2018, tried to claim Bob – when he was a toddler (a house fire that destroyed the home, and that scarred his legs, arms, & lungs – he was scared & scarred … but he lived for another 24 years); when he was 28 (a blood clot, while in hospital, broke lose from his broken thigh bone & killed him in front of my eyes – he was jump started and was returned to me for a few years more); when he was 31 (the doctors never did figure out WHY he died AND WAS DEAD FOR 25 minutes: and returned back to me for another 38 years). Elohim had been faithful to keep him alive – and return him back to me 2 more times: and Bob ALWAYS praised Elohei, lived for Yeshua, and TOLD people about his salvation in 1981. There is no doubt, none whatsoever, that when he answered Elohim’s call to ‘come Home, Bob’ in December of 2018, Bob now walks WITH Yeshua in that celestial city above the clouds.
Others shared what they knew of Bob’s life – how he impacted their lives, and how he enriched their lives for having known him. Some things, I already knew – and was comforted with the memory; some things were new to my ears, and showed me a whole new side of Bob I didn’t know before I came to know him in 1974 – and I appreciated the insight: it explained things, like the scar on his bald head that I wondered about, and he couldn’t remember because his death in 1981 threw a kink into his long-term data bank. And Ralph, as usual, told a whopper – intended to put Bob in a bad light … but instead made Ralph himself look ridiculous because everyone knew the truth of the matter. Ralph is a sad excuse for a human in being in general, and a really sad example of brotherhood. And, as usual, Rose came to her pampered son's rescue by telling a memory she had that put Bob in a bad light too - OF ALL THE MEMORIES those 2 could have told, they CHOSE TO TRY to make Bob look bad.
But, everyone just ignored Ralph’s petty jealousy and behaved beautifully: I was proud of everyone’s behavior – with those 2 exceptions … which was kinda expected: they are so miserable, they can't help themselves. And I am glad I will never have to deal with - or see either of those 2 ever again. I feel sorry for them, but I don't want anything more to do with them. Even in death, they couldn't try to love Bob.
A nice crowd Bob would have enjoyed spending time with – and he did, actually: Bob was with us in spirit. Truly - Bob is more alive now then he ever was; and he was pretty lively when he lived among us for 69 years ;-)
Donny Seaburg (large checked shirt). Another one of Bob's close high school friends, who came today: all hometown kids, who stayed loyal hometown kids. Knowing them, I can imagine the stories of mischievous youth & rambunctious young adulthood they must be hiding!
Bob’s mom & cousin, Martin Ostervold. Bob water-skied behind Martin’s speed boat – that boat was FAST! And Bob was beauty in action on those water skies - with that sun-kissed browned skin and those white cutoffs. Bob was a very handsome man, who enjoyed being actively athletic. And I loved watching him when he was actively engaged ;-)
Even though Bob didn’t want a funeral, I believe Bob was happy with the Celebration of Life turn-out today: which really was not a 'funeral' at all - more of a respectful - yet casual - gathering a friends. I was happy to see so many people show; who loved my husband, and honored him by remembering a life well lived, by a man who loved everyone unconditionally – and who always smiled easily and laughed with abandon.
Bob was one of those rare human beings that really made everyone feel equal and special: he was capable of favoring people with 1-on-1 attention, and lifting them above themselves, so they could shine.
Bob TOUCHED lives and left imprints that will never fade over time; if anything, those imprints will increase as life moves forward.
Bob’s youngest brother, Kerry (in the wood mask he designed & crafted), humoring the crowd – and livening the mood: Bob was howling, I am sure! I was proud of everyone today.
Bob was happy. I was happy. Elohim was faithful.
Thank You, Yeshua.
I am eternally grateful.
The weather was perfect.
The attitude adjustments were perfect - even Rose & Ralph could not ruin the day.
A day that was dreaded, turned out to be A VERY GOOD DAY.
And THAT was a very good thing ;-)
On the flip-side of all the joyous peace I was experiencing this afternoon, when I left Rosburg, I saw that I had a missed call on my cell; but I was in a spot where there was no service in the Valley … so as soon as I had service (which was in Skamokawa - a looooong way down the road), I returned the call – knowing what I would hear and not wanting to hear it: my sister, Iris, is dying. She had been in the hospital for a while now, but I was told this afternoon that she has been ‘non responsive’ for a few days, and her doctors are thinking it may be time to consider quality of life options. Her brother, Bob, doesn’t accept that: he is operating on false hope, and shock. Her husband is in deep emotional upheaval – boy! Do I KNOW that feeling. And I am being asked by Bob to insert my opinions into the lives of people I really do not know except for phone conversations, in which truth has not been shared with me: I had NO IDEA Iris was suffering from serious & critical medical issues. Those issues do not change my love for her – I always knew about her/I always loved her/I always wanted to get to know her … and Elohim brought all that into being over the past 8 months. BUT, how much do I really know? NOT ENOUGH to involve myself in lives that have not been forthcoming with me.
No!
Life and death decisions for Iris will have to be made by her husband.
And her brother will have to live with those decisions.
But asking me to get involved in lives of people, who are still strangers to me, is NOT OKAY.
I want Iris to recover and get better.
I want to have her around a little longer.
I want her to come to know me well enough to be honest with me.
But most of all, I want for Iris, whatever IT IS that Elohim wants for Iris’ life. *UPDATE: My sister, Iris died September 2nd, 2019.
