I got a
notification in the mail a few days ago, informing me that activities in Castle
Rock have opened back up – so I drove to exercise class this morning 😊
I drove via
Westside Highway because I got a late start … and Westside Highway was the
quickest route.
Exercise Class was fun.
It was good to see people again: full face.
It was good to see people I haven’t seen in a year.
The morning
almost felt normal, again … except for the fact that the building echoed due to
the fact that most people are still not comfortable being in large groups of
unmasked people: obviously they do not believe “the science”, having been victims
of political fearmongering for a solid year (all year, every hour of every
day – for 365 days straight).
‘Normal’ may
have been killed with the 2020 obamanite-biden-pelosi coup; in which, covid was
used as a battering ram to get biden illegally – and shamefully – seated, and
harris installed with a meaningless title.
Anyway …
Those of us who
did gather, enjoyed the class; and enjoyed spending time together, chatting
without having to shout through layers of useless cloth that smothers the
wearer, and distorts their speaking.
My lungs were
fine; the activity was brisk and my breath was short at times, but I did not
need to use my inhaler: thank You, Yeshua!
Leaving Castle
Rock, I thought I’d drop my weights off at home … then drive into downtown
Longview to see if I could get into the Country Folks Deli now, without mask mandate
hassle.
Driving into town, while twiddling
my thumbs – sitting at a red light, I saw a truck ahead of me with a strange
business name; the more I looked at it, the more it tickled my funny bone until
I burst out laughing. The business name itself was strange, but wondering
(with tongue in cheek) if some of Ireland’s fanciful {Little People} had
been drafted into working off their mischievousness – kind of went with the fanciful
name 😉
After I got
downtown and parked, I walked into Country Folks Deli and seated myself: there
was no banshee screaming about being unmasked.
YES!
I was in.
The atmosphere
there, almost felt normal too – except that masks
were still in evidence on some faces.
Mask wearing for
extended lengths of time is not normal.
Feeling the
necessity of wearing a suffocating mask, when it is no longer necessary to do
so, is not normal.
Behaving in a paranoid
manner because political browbeating has eroded rational thinking and behavior,
is not normal.
I’m not entirely
convinced ‘normal’ will ever again have a normal outcome.
But it was nice
to be able to sit inside again, and engage in normal behavior, while in an
abnormal environment.
Just before I
finished the last of my fries, a song came on that immediately had my eyes
tearing up …
Feel Like Making
Love: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SEuKkcX1uKA)
I pushed the
rest of the fries aside, and I couldn’t grab my stuff and get out of the booth to
pay my tab fast enough; the whole time, praying I would not break down in front
of everyone before I could get to the privacy of the Highlander and cry it out
there.
Images of us,
came fast and furious to the forefront of my thoughts. Us – young and falling
head-over-heels in love. Us raising a family, and grinning over the heads of
the kids (and later, grandkids) when the song came on; on the radio while
we were driving. Us, eating out, and Bob grinning and wiggling his eyebrows at
me when the song played in the background.
The roomy deli suddenly
got a lot more confining as the memories grew.
Finally, the tab
was paid and I could escape outside – where it didn’t matter if tears fell,
before I reached the car.
My {normal} hour had dissolved in a heartbeat.
I have been doing so well in this widow life.
I have been
feeling (and hoping) I was past the watershed period in this new life.
I do know that
emotionally I am in a better place than I was 10 months ago.
I’ve been
walking this solo lobo life for 28 months & 3 days: my heart has scabbed
over, but obviously the healing scar is still tender.
Listening to
that song play in the background before I could pay and take flight, brought
back the fact, that for me – personally and
for wholly different reasons than covid madness, life will never
be ‘normal’ again. Bob’s absent physical presence, will always be the
missing puzzle piece in my personal life’s jigsaw puzzle.
I felt stupid, sitting in the car and crying.
Because of a
song playing in the background of a restaurant.
I’ve been doing so well.
I am actively engaged in building a new life.
It’s a good life – even with the missing puzzle piece.
I really need to
hurdle these emotional handicaps and grab life by the tail – a ‘normal’ reset.
I dried my face and drove home.
As I parked the Highlander
in the carport, I noticed that my Irises are blooming 😊
I decided to finish
planting the rest of the garden boxes before the forecasted rain arrives – gardening
is a normal activity, for me.
That task accomplished,
I worked on some house slippers I’m kitting up for the Rosburg Hall Fall Bazaar
– they still need to be shaped to a foot form, and tagged.
This is normal
activity in normal days past … current days, and the
foreseeable future: in this way, my life is still normal 😉
And I’ll spend
the remainder of the evening, watching the sunset while listening to the sporadic
rain; and finishing up the novel I had with me this morning.
Reading books is
normal for me. There was a time I always had a book in my hand – no matter what
I was doing: waking up/going to bed/cooking meals/doing
laundry/taking a bath/riding as passenger into town … if I didn’t
have a dime-store paperback in my hand, I was reading the kids a story from a
child’s storybook.
This afternoon
was the second time I have carried a book with me when I left the house: it is
normal behavior.
Rain falling
from the sky is normal Washington weather.
Aside
from that one episode in the County Folks Deli, I’ve had a pretty normal day
in a continuing abnormal time.
