HELPING HANDS

For 3 years I’ve been the recipient of unconditional love, acceptance, and unlimited help … from the occasional family member, steady loyal friends, and sometimes from absolute strangers; today was the start of my “getting back into the swing of things”, on a local level.

I’ve always been a helper – I honestly never needed help of any sort, until I became a widow; being in the position of need was an unfamiliar feeling. I am thankful that those who stepped in to help me, knew me, and were kind in the ways they offered – and gave – their help (easing my discomfort of neediness). They helped me out of the goodness of their hearts; I owe them a debt I can never repay. And they won’t ask me to recompence them.

But I can be kind.

And I can pay that kindness forward.

That is payment enough for my friends 😊

I’ve always been a helper.

I have missed that part of myself.

Today my helping hands were busy for two hours, across town: it felt good to be actively engaged in helping again. Afterwards, I ate an early supper at El Ranchero, and visited with the owners; they were happy to see me again, and I was happy to see them again.

Cute ice rounds.

Mural artwork reminds me of the Jewel Quest Game I play on my laptop.

I will be using my helping hands at that end of town on a regular basis … and I will be visiting with my friends, more frequently, again.

I can also be helpful on a national level, too.

I like to keep my hands busy 😉

But not just busy for the sake of being busy – I like my hands to be busy with a purpose.

Another source of lending my hands to help, is Angel Blankets for families dealing with infant loss.

MOD Baby Blanket; Angel Baby Size 21-inch x 21-inch.

Widowhood has taught me quite a bit about things I did not know.

I did not know grief could be so hard to come to terms with: I did not know how important little mementoes would be. I did not understand that missingness would last a lifetime. I was unaware of the struggle between self-reliance and needing the support of others.

I could not have come this far without the help and support of my lifelong-friends; and strangers who have become cherished friends.

Friends with helping hands.

I am glad my hands are being put to use again.

(https://www.facebook.com/officialflo/videos/sometimes-you-need-friends-to-get-over-an-obstacle/10154479229299325/)

LIFE IMPACTS

Today’s post is inspired by things that impact our life.

Today’s post is also an encouragement to remember that no matter what happens in our lives, there is always an up-side 😉

Two days ago, I was notified that someone I used to be very close to was in the hospital – as was her husband. For several hours, conflicting reports were sent my way; family secrets were revealed, angry tears flooded my ears, frustrated musings significantly warmed the airwaves. By the time I set the cell phone on its charger to recharge, I had a roaring headache.

Last night before I went to bed, I was notified that said persons mentioned above were pulling through, after all. My feelings are mixed (1) I know this couple, and their family: they live on drama … if they aren’t “dying!” they don’t how to live; for true (2) I don’t like their trauma drama; and I resented being pulled into it. Again; on the pretext, “it’s real this time” (3) There is a valid reason these people are no longer an active part of my life.

IF they were truly “fighting for their lives!” (which conflicting report should be believed?), then I felt sad for their family; if on the other hand, this was just another jacked-up trauma drama episode …

These are people that will run through the house screaming, “Fire! Fire!” – and when everyone is standing outside in bare feet, in freezing weather, they will laugh at their childish behavior and say, “Just joking, hahaha.”

Them being in the hospital is factual.

Them “dying!” is the glitch.

Before you think me heartless, let me clarify: they are always dying. For 40 years it’s been the same scenario.

This time, I’ve reached my limit.

I don’t want to be dealing with this anymore.

I have my own traumas I’m working my way through.

I haven’t seen these people for years – and my life has been less stressful; that is a good feeling.

So, last night I made another culling decision: I blocked everyone involved: on social media sources, as well as from my phone. That action made me realize that there isn’t much of my old life left in my new life anymore.

Actions have consequences – consequences have impact.

I don’t regret the culling. And I don’t care if people think that is a callous thing to do.

 I.d.o.n’t.w.a.n.t.d.r.a.m.a.i.n.m.y.l.i.f.e.a.n.y.m.o.r.e.

Sometimes I think the best route to take, is to make a clean break – a total break (from everyone) – from the life I know … just wipe it out, and start completely fresh. With no guilt, of any kind.

I think I’ve reached the point where it would be an easy thing to do; I have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. The primary gain would be peace of mind, and tranquility in the golden years of my life.

Yes, I think that may be the best route to take as I journey through 2022.

I feel freer already 😊

Talking about being ‘freed up’ – a gal pal called yesterday and said there had been a landslide on Ocean Beach Highway, near the County Line.

Land slides impact daily life. Ocean Beach Highway is a busy roadway, and the alternate road routes are iffy this time of year.

Ocean Beach Highway; landslide mark - Jan.3rd, 2022

Ocean Beach Highway landslide debris; looks a little past County Line, towards Cathlamet.

Ocean Beach Highway is open again.

https://tdn.com/news/local/state-route-4-reopens-in-wahkiakum-county-after-debris-slide/article_3fc2e2d5-85b2-5d05-9f1a-19ab4967dea5.html & https://www.chinookobserver.com/news/five-feet-of-mud-cover-ocean-beach-highway/article_7958f2b0-0b80-59a7-a560-8dafa1968c5e.html

And I just received an invite to supper with friends out Coal Creek.

Good friends, that treat you like family also impact daily life 😊