COMMUNITY BUILDING ~Shabbat

I really look forward to spending time with friends – especially friends in the country 😉

My recent Country Visit Invite Post: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/07/limiting-restraints.html

I had some time to spare before heading to the upper end of Wahkiakum County … so I checked my emails (answering some; deleting others without even opening them), and then decided to wear my old glasses until I can buy new ones, again: my sunglasses are this year’s perscripted lens – but they are too dark in the house so I take them off indoors, and my eyes are feeling the eyestrain.

The strength difference is slight, so they will work fine for the time being.

Around noon, I was ready to walk out the door and beat feet out of Longview.

Dressed for a lazy day in the country with friends; Grandma’s ready to rock & roll 😉.

Shania Twain – ‘Come On Over’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNe2cj03-eA)

My rolled-up jean legs reminded me of a picture I had of my mother when she was a teenager, with her sister Janet.

I selected a disc to listen to on the drive, and just as I was grabbing my purse … a message pinged on the phone. Seeing who it was from had me debating whether to respond – or not; I responded as soon as I read her opening line. I counted to ten before punching out my reply. This woman is manipulative with everyone, but she is not going to run me. She has a mean spirit, and when called out, resorts to punting the blame for her bad behavior over your fence, daring you to kick it back.

With raised eyebrows … I kicked it back into her court, giving her a chance to accept responsibility for her actions: I was willing to work with that towards allowing her space in my community building efforts. When she shot back her reply, I ended all effort and shut her down – and muted the phone.

Manipulative message this morning ...

I have standards, and clearly defined Boundary Lines; when pushed, I post a ‘Do Not Trespass’ Sign.

“Heartbroken” people do not continue pushing boundaries with toxic behaviors.

Tuesday gathering, next week, will be interesting.

But I am firm: I will not engage in her manipulative games (I have, for a year, watched her bully others: not gonna happen to me). She said what she said. She meant to be offensive. She is not sorry; people who are sorry do not continue to behave badly. People who are sorry do not keep poking and pushing up against clear boundary lines. People who are sorry do not engage in blame-games designed to make the wronged person the bad guy.

This latest bully attempt is the straw that broke the camel's back. She has been trying to run me since last Fall. She is continually poking her nose into my private business, and making "motherly" suggestions. She is not my mother! She does not get to tell me who I 'need to talk to'. She does not get to decide what I talk about, who I speak with, or how long I engage in conversation. She does not get to yank me around.

I have never been “run” – I will not be “run”, now. My neck will never wear a choke collar. I don’t think this woman has ever been shut down before; but she has now.

Slipping the phone into my purse (out of sight, out of mind), I drove into town and stopped at the bank before I left Longview; and on the way back to Ocean Beach Highway, I decided to take a side trip down Oak Street, because I wanted to grab a mug of coffee before heading out of town to spend the day with my gal pals (I didn’t want to backtrack off Old Pacific Highway to the coffee shack).

Steve Miller Band – ‘Going to The Country’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5tGEBLzsmI)

Driving down Oak Street, I passed the house my in-laws had lived in for ten years of my early married life. The street has gone downhill, and the house looks different – not too bad, just different: painted a green color, and the front yard is missing the flowerbed my MIL planted – and replaced with scorched earth. I remembered my FIL putting a back driveway in, renting a cement mixer to build a small back patio, … and building a large 2-garage-shop, with a greenhouse for my MIL on the side.

At the end of Oak Street, I turned left at the playground Bob’s youngest sisters played at … and continued to the end of that street where it joined with Ocean Beach Highway, again. And it didn’t hurt my heart to relive those memories. I am healing.

At the coffee shack while waiting for my mug to be passed back to me, I slipped in the CD disc I brought from home. It always soothes me to hear my husband’s voice – but it was especially welcomed this morning 😊

I listened to Bob's testimonial voice on both trips over the KM.

Bob - Love of my life ~OX

The gathering at Ramona’s house was a 4-hour fun-filled afternoon; these women are just what the doctor ordered 😉

Linda is working on a quilt - beautiful handiwork; completely pieced & stitched by hand.

Keith Urban – ‘Where the Blacktop Ends’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FD3zK3OimXo)

They get a space in my community building efforts 😊

Genuine care and love.