KIOSKS MAKE ME FEEL STUPID

They are soulless.

They are inanimate. 

They are digital robots.

They are basically rubbish.

But they have the power to make me feel stupid.

Yesterday afternoon, I received a notice from Xfinity that on February 26^th, Xfinity had decided I needed to receive my billing via a paperless route, so they set up an account for me … and I only had a week {window} to opt out.

Well, that whole thing pissed me off ☹ (1) Xfinity did not ask me if I wanted to go paperless (2) Xfinity took it upon themselves to make a decision for me – without my expressed permission (3) The week’s window began four work days ago … and the window was quickly closing before I had even yet been informed there was a necessary window.

So, this morning, I was up and out of the house … and downtown, with the papered notice in hand – by 9 AM.

Only to find out the downtown office had closed and relocated.

Standing in the vacant parking lot, reading the relocation poster, all I could think was, ‘I have no freaking idea where 740 Ocean Beach is’. So, I walked back to the car, and pointedly tapped the address into the map app on my inherited smartphone: all that did was add more confusion to an already frustrating situation – the {quick} route was an endless maze of blue lines going nowhere fast.

I pulled over as quickly as I could find an empty parking spot along the confusing highlighted phone app route … and entered the address into the car’s GPS system: 5 minutes later I was parking in Xfinity’s new parking lot; which, until recently, had been the Army/Navy/Marines/Airforce Recruiting Building in the Strip Mall.

Who knew?

The notification poster taped to the abandoned Xfinity office could have made things less frustrating by simply stating: ‘we are now located at the Twin Cities Shopping Center Strip Mall’.

As I entered the new downtown Xfinity office, I saw right away that it had indeed morphed into a downtown entity – the interior was streamlined: it was mimicking the AT & T office … in every way. There was an open floor plan with nappy gray upholstered ottomans strategically placed near a wall-mounted large-screen TV. There were Formica topped islands with tall-legged stool style chairs. The attendees wore wired chat headsets. There were kiosks lining one wall.

For one brief moment I thought I had entered the wrong building.

I explained to the greeting attendee that I had received notification that Xfinity had moved my monthly billing to a paperless thing; and I wanted to opt out – could I do it here, right now?

He said, yes – I could opt out: and then he fixed the issue 😊

Then I asked him if I could pay my bill also, even though I had not yet received my bill (I will no doubt receive that tomorrow). Again, I was told ‘yes’ … then he added … ‘you can pay at the kiosk’ – and he waved his hand in the general direction of the offending soulless machines.

I said I wasn’t sure how to use the kiosks (I really hate those things!)

He said, “Just tap the screen, and follow the directions.”

It sounds so simple.

Yet, it is anything but.

There is always a glitch somewhere; sometime.

And true to form … it made me feel stupid.

After the third time of being frustratingly rebuffed by the inanimate jerk, I terminated the transaction and turned to the attendee, saying, “I’m going to need some help over here.”

He came to me, and I said, “I’ve tried 3 times … but when it gets to the card part of the transaction, it just stops and times out.”

The guy said, “Yeah – what the machine doesn’t tell people is that when you insert your card, you have to pull it back out quickly – or it won’t read it.”

I just looked at him. 

And glared at the soulless machine. 

That is an important ‘instruction’ to know!

The transaction was finally finished; I pocketed my receipt, and left the building.

It helped defuse the frustration … and restored my confidence … by reasoning that the actual stupid person was the designer that programmed the robotic digital kiosk.

And if I ever have to go back to Xfinity for anything, I will park in the larger Strip Mall parking lot, and walk the distance to the building because the parking spaces in Xfinity’s designated locale is very, very tight – in all directions.