Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Friday, October 2, 2020

NEW FOCUS ~ OCTOBER

 
Elohim’s faithful mercy helps me see life in color again, and be joyful in the shadow of Grief.

The months of September thru December will always be difficult months for me to get through.

Things started spiraling out of control for Bob in the October of 2018.

Elohim was merciful, and Bob had a good Nursing Team 24/7 … but it was hard on everyone: hard on Bob, of course, who was going through the hard times and coming to terms with the wrapping up of his life on Earth – we were all going through it too, but he, of course, was dealing with thoughts and feelings on a more personal level than the rest of us. It really was “all about him”: it was his life, and he lived it – and ended it, eventually, on his own terms to best of his ability.

It was hard on his {team}: they came to love him.

I will always be grateful, and thankful that they honored him with loving conversations, and loving ministrations in unpleasant situations.

It was hard on me.

I loved him.

I loved US.

It was hard to watch the unfolding of the unraveling.

It was hard to be strong for my sake.

It was hard to be brave for Bob’s sake.

Everyone (even doctors who did not agree) allowed him the dignity of making decisions that affected HIS life.

We were both thankful.

O.c.t.o.b.e.r.w.i.l.l.b.e.h.a.r.d.e.v.e.r.y.ye.a.r.

But, today, this year; was actually a very good day.

The emotion invoked was not so raw.

I didn’t cry.

Not even a sniffle.

I can feel my heart healing.

I am more actively engaged in what I am doing “in the moment”.

I have to win over my emotions – or drown in the depth of them.

I am deliberately steering myself into purposeful and life-affirming activities.

I am functioning in a “knowing” mode this year; as opposed to behaving like an automated robot that goes through the motions without knowing, or caring.

I started my morning off with a trip into town; with a stop at WalMart to get a refill inhaler …

There was no mile-long-line at WalMart; I was thankful.

… and then a stop at Lowe’s to buy a few scallop bricks. Right now, I am using the bricks to hold the bird netting securely atop the garden beds during the Fall/Winter months. I don’t really have any other use for them at this particular time.

CHRISTMAS already at Lowe's ...

I thought that perhaps inslee had “woken up” and moved WA State into Phase 3 … or even the desperately needed Phase 4; but when I got home and checked that hope out, I was not surprised to find that instead of lifting his tyrannical and unlawful {mandates}, he instead ramped them up and is going to keep WA State in Phase 2 indefinitely.

Cowlitz County (pending Phase 3 application – on pause).

inslee is a terrible governor – he has single-handedly destroyed WA State. THANK THE LORD he dropped out of the Presidential Campaign! Imagining that nazi minded moron as a National Leader is as scary as the possibility of obama in the Oval Office again via his puppet, biden.

inslee needs to be unseated … and obama needs to join biden in the basement.

Anyway …

I don’t want to go down that rabbit trail again.

I need to save my energies for the fallout of upcoming November 3rd.

If all Hell is going to break loose, and the demonrats take America and Americans for a Hell Ride … I will need the saved energies to push safely through.

I am determined to regain the gaiety and vibrance of Life, again. I don’t know HOW – but I KNOW I WILL.

Back home from Lowe’s, I checked the mail and chucked the junk mail (basically it was a ‘mail-free’ day: it was all junk).

And I finished outside, what I didn’t get to yesterday: slipping the faucet covers in place, tearing down the last 4 garden boxes, planting the tulip bulbs I bought at Lowe’s this morning; and setting out the Fall themed front porch stuff:

Faucet covers in place.
Last 4 garden boxes tore down, and covered with netting.
The garden area is cleared and tidied.
Planted tulips for Spring color ...
Fall Theme on front porch. I saw this pumpkin at Lowe’s, and had to bring it home with me 😉 I’ll pull the Fall {fillings} for the ducks out of storage, & switch that out tomorrow.

It was a busy day, today.

Small steps, admittedly.

But significant milestones, this year.

I will sleep soundly tonight 😉 

 

**P.S: My sleep was interrupted by the news that President Trump and First Lady have tested positive for covid.

President Trump and First Lady Melania Test Positive for the ...

www.wsj.com › articles › hope-hicks-top-trump-adviser-s...

 59 mins ago - WASHINGTON—President Trump and first lady Melania Trump tested positive for Covid-19, he tweeted, putting the U.S. into an unprecedented ...

This is not good – America and Americans DO NOT NEED CRAZY NANCY AS PRESIDENT!

Please Elohim! Have mercy and ((((SAVE US!))))

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