HARD LESSONS

OMG ...

This is SO HARD!

So … I took care of most of the name changes the day before Christmas after Hub’s Death Certificate finally arrived; couldn’t do anything until then. Today I am still trying to switch everything into my name, and was totally unprepared for hidden transfer fees and delayed transfers - taking Hub's name off the house title/property tax is $46.00 ... not large, but when you don't have it, it IS a large sum. Ditto for the vehicle title transfer, which is $37.50: I hope and pray I will have these sums available the end of February to get it done. I thought that since both our names are on everything it would just be a simple procedure to pull his name and switch everything to my name only – but ((((NO))))!!!! – I have to also have the Titles on hand with Death certificate and Marriage License; WHO walks around with these things on their person? And then AARP has UPPED the Insurance costs to an additional $22/yr because now "there is only 1 driver instead of 2"; uuhh … oookaaay. Seems to me the price should go down since there is only 1 driver. Right? And the Bank wants me to WAIT 3 months - at least - to be sure "any forthcoming checks in his name can be cashed instead of held up if you do it now." I get it, kinda: but I just don't want to be dealing with grieving and crying anew for months on end when having to put things off.

I just want all of it o.v.e.r already! Losing him is hard enough without revisiting it again, and again, and again just to make the tax man happy. How can I move forward if I am kept in suspended limbo or am dragged backwards time and time again?

No one tells you these things beforehand so you are prepared. Hubs and I discussed life after death many times over the past decades, and he did everything he could to make sure I would not be left struggling if he went before me. I thought we had everything covered: apparently not. I hope there are no more sudden surprises.

It is hard to find them out unexpectedly when you are already dealing with so many other things you now have to do on your own :-(