RED PICKUP IN THE WIDOW’S DRIVEWAY

There is no privacy in Heron Pointe Mobile Home Park – the houses are barely 6 feet apart … and everyone is nosey.

Holland’s red pickup has in my carport practically every day since around Thanksgiving time 😉

The neighbors are curious: they are used to seeing my carport empty. Until recently, I’ve been gone every day for the past four years, from the time I wake up until I get back home to fall into bed. I’ve been enjoying Daytripping adventure, and making friends in the three counties I frequent.

This house has not been a friendly place for me since Bob passed into Glory, and there has been no reason for me to stick around, so I was gone most of the daylight hours. Bob only lived in this house with me for 18 short months – I’ve lived in it for 48 months solo lobo … so, technically the house is more mine than {ours}. And though I decided last year to start making it “a home for me”, now that remarriage is on the table, I’m not sure how that decision will turn out: the house is a real nice house, and it’s paid off; but there are bad memories connected to it, and perhaps Holland and I will want to settle down to married life elsewhere. I’m okay with that, if that is what we decide to do.

Holland spent a few hours here, with me this afternoon. This is the Christmas week, so I wore colors that fit the week’s theme 😊

Bare minimal today - sparkly 'Lt. Lilac' eyebrow, 'Plum' eyelid, 'Brown' liners; 'Auburn' Eyebrow Gel & 'Deep Violet' Mascara; 'Nude Burn' Creme blush, ‘Primrose’ Lipstick & ‘Rose Quartz’ Lipgloss.

Glittery 'Sparked' Nail Polish & beaded bracelet.

Red pickup in the Widow's driveway ... hahaha.

We talked some more; getting to know each other more. Until recently our relationship has been built on friendship – but we are entering into a more intimate relationship now, so we need to know each other deeper. So far, we are in agreement on most issues either of us have brought up. Our marriage will have a Christian foundation, we'll be in it for the long haul; no divorce, no cheating, and no attempts to change the other into an idealized version of someone other than the version we are marrying – if one of us decides to change, it will be a personal decision, not a forced thing. Both of us have been married; my husband Bob’s earthen vessel died, and Holland’s marriage ended in divorce decades ago. Both of us are rusty at the dating game: I wasn’t interested in dating … and Holland has been waiting for me (seriously), so we are spending time getting to know each other before we make the big leap forward in faith.

Holland is actively changing his whole life for me. It’s a little scary to have that much power over someone, but I am not taking advantage of that generosity. I am however, thankful he is leaving Oak Point behind. Holland is showing his love for me in doing this big move; and I am, in love, careful not to push further than necessary.

Elohim has blessed me with a love I never sought – never asked for – and never expected to feel again. I intend to be worthy of the love entrusted to me.

We are good for each other. We are a good match 😊

The future looks very promising. I am blessed.

After Holland left, I called the Portland Office for the pension plan Bob set in place for my provision, and asked how remarriage would affect that: it won’t … so, that’s one less thing I have to “get settled” before we make the big leap.

Then I listened to some songs that fit the current mood in my small corner of this world 😊

Vince Vance & The Valiants – ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w8HWHd0EYJA)

John Legend – ‘All of Me’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ngq5Aw0Q6rQ)

Blake Shelton & Gwen Stefani – ‘You Make It Feel Like Christmas’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6wj78JNsQk)

Blake Shelton & Gwen Stefani – ‘Nobody But You’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xqyZowxfSe4)

Blake Shelton – ‘Anywhere’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcLSjQx8GXA)

Blake Shelton – ‘Doin’ What She Likes’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04WRI-0odjk)

Shania Twain – ‘You’ve Got A Way’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1n0tBhJOlSk)

And I finished the bottoms of the slippers I had crocheted the other night:

Slippers to match my Winter Pj's.

Tomorrow I will drive into town, and God willing, the Office there will be open (and not closed due to ‘covid-flu’), so I can “settle” that business - I want to talk about this important issue, face-to-face, not to a recording. We can’t make an immediate plan for our future (and Holland’s red pickup can’t be parked permanently in the carport) until this final hurdle is cleared.

MEETING THE FAMILY~BIG DAY

I mentioned three days ago, that I had agreed to a {Sunday Church & Lunch} “date” with Holland, so this morning I was up bright and early to be ready by 8:40 A.M. It was pretty nippy, so I wore jeans and a pullover sweater.

Sunday “Date” Post: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/12/greensleeves.html

I also knew I’d be meeting “the family” before church sevice: I know several of his family members already, so I felt comfortable about meeting three more 😉

What I didn’t know was how important this meeting would be.

Creativity cache ...

 

‘Gentle’ for browline, glittery ‘Conquest’ eyeshadow & sparkly‘Navy’ accent & liners; ‘Auburn’ Eyebrow Gel, and ‘Cobalt Blue’ Mascara; ‘Nude Burn’ Crème blush, tinted Lip Balm & 'Rose Quartz' Lipgloss.

Off to meet 'the Family' ...

When we got to Kelso, and met with his nephew at his mother’s house, I was immediately embraced and made to feel like part of the family nucleus: “So. You’re the one Holland has been bending our ears about.” It was a comfortable environment, and a good hour’s visit with good people. I passed inspection (friendly, not overly curious), and was invited to the family Christmas supper, along with Holland.

This morning’s Sunday service message was of course about the miracle that happened in Bethlehem more than two millennia ago. The pastor also mentioned that his brother, who had been suffering with cancer, had passed during the night exactly as he (his suffering bother) has prayed he would: in his sleep, and immediately in the presence of Yeshua.

When the pastor mentioned that, Holland reached over and held my hand – he had heard me many times, over the past 15 months, relate how I had prayed when Bob was in his final hours on Earth that Elohim would be merciful and favor Bob with a peaceful passage from this life to the next while he slept: and that is exactly what happened, as I watched Bob take his last breath four years ago, the morning of December fourteenth. Holland is a gentle bear of a man; gentle and compassionate, and always ready to comfort me. I know he loves me – and I am thankful Elohim has favored me with two insightful men to walk through this life with … my old life, and my new life 😊

After service, we walked hand and hand to his pickup, and he said, “Your hands are so little” – and I replied with a laugh, “Yes; I have baby hands – I literally have to buy kid gloves.” And he said, “Well, I like your little ‘baby’ hands … and they fit your nickname, ‘Baby’”.

We talked all the way from the church parking lot to the restaurant, where we were to meet Jake. Enroute, I found myself suddenly engaged! So, from today forward, I now consider Holland my husband in Name until we sign on the dotted line that will garner him all the benefits of married life 😉

I called my granddaughter with the news so she could pass it on to the rest of her household, as they come in from work. She said, “Are you sure about this?” And I said, “Yes.” She said, “But, last week you said that he was on ice because you felt he wasn’t upfront with you …” And I replied, “He was. But he explained why he wasn’t upfront; and I understand his reasoning – and that will never happen again. Things have changed in that situation, and circumstances are being resolved as we speak: he is literally turning his whole life around to make things right. He really is a good man. And he’s finally ‘seen the light’.” She said, “You’ve only known him a few weeks, grandma.” And I answered, “We’ve known each other for fifteen months – and he had flirted twelve of those fifteen months: we are not strangers, we’ve just stopped pussy-footing around. I married grandpa four months after meeting him face-to-face, and we had a wonderful run of 44 happy years. This thing with Holland may seem like it’s moving fast, but fifteen months is a lot longer than four; and he never rushed me – he isn’t rushing me now.”

My life is never dull.

And it seems to move at turbo speed when it decides to move 😊

The issues that frustrated our relationship last week have been resolved, including the trust issue – which, to my way of thinking, is the main issue … concerning everyone’s place in my life. Holland {gets} that now. Some people never do; and that’s why my inner circle is very small.

No immediate plans to marry are in the works, as there are financial legalities (for both of us) to be settled, before we can move forward in that direction; and that could take months to resolve. But, we are moving forward with our relationship.

After Holland dropped me off at home, I finished a pair of house slippers; lit the first candle of the Hanukkah menorah; and started a new novel …

Knitting house slippers; 1 pair on 1 needle for a perfect fit.

First night of Hanukkah 2022 - last night will be Christmas Eve.

New Read.

Today has been a B.I.G. Day 😉

GREENSLEEVES

Well.

The Jam Sessions have been called off too, due to the Hell jeannie paulson stirred up, on the hill ☹

While not directly connected to the {church} … several people did attend there, as I did; and when all Hell broke loose – the jam sessions came to a halt as everyone chose sides and took positions.

So.

I’ve sent out feelers to find something else to do 😊

Today, I had lunch with a friend – and we kicked around some ideas: nothing concrete yet, but some possibilities, that hold promise 😉

Feeling 'green' today ;-)

'Pale Green' for eyebrow line, Md. Green for eyeshadow; 'Quest' for eye accent & liners; 'Auburn' Eyebrow Gel, 'Deep Green' Mascara; 'Nude Burn' Creme Blush, Rose-tinted Lip Balm & ''Pink Quartz' Lipgloss.

Peter Hollens & Tim Foust – ‘Greensleeves’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3iE4IStfRs)

I like driving to ‘the Ranch’: it’s a nice country drive, and the views of Mr. Rainier, the Cascade Range, and Mt. St. Helens are spectacular.

Mt. Rainier looking so regal; seen from Vader.

Mt. St. Helens; seen from Vader.

Afterwards, I stopped at Wal*Mart to buy a coffee pot for the Monday and Tuesday classes at my house; I had thrown away the coffee pot I had in 2018, when the doctors said Bob could not have any more coffee (Bob’s body died anyway). I will use Grandma Smalley’s old percolator pot for me, when I am home alone; but the new one will work better for group meets.

And – it was a banner day for Wal*Mart: busy, busy, busy … two arrests … and running into Mr. Complication. Literally.

Just another day at Wall*Mart ...

Holland is a bear of a man – I bounced off of him; hahaha. He steadied me, saying, “Are you okay, green sleeves?” (in reference to my green top). I laughed. He said, “Are you still mad at me?” I said, “I’m not mad.” He said, “Good. Can I call you?” I said, “You can call – but I’m not promising anything more.” He said, “I’m not giving up.” I said, “You don’t really know me, Holland; all you know about me is what you’ve seen at Oak Point.” He said, “I want to know you. Come to Church with me, Sunday – not Oak Point, another one I think you’ll like, and then we can get to know each other over lunch. I’m off the Oak Point Board in January – jeannie is running the church into the ground. I’m also moving into town; Oak Point has become a snake pit with all the backbiting and sniping jeannie stirred up. Give me another chance, Val.” I stood there, with the Greensleeves tune running through my head, and heard myself say, “Okay.”

So.

I guess I’ve got a Church and Lunch Date with Mr. Complication on Sunday.

This {thing} is complicated.

PERSISTENCE

Today is the 4-year mark of Bob’s graduation Home.

This afternoon I had plans to meet a friend in town for lunch – I was thankful when she texted me earlier this week to make this lunch date; it would redirect my thoughts, and the convo would keep things light and lively. I would not be sitting at home feeling edgy this year. My thoughts would not be in rewind mode.

I am thankful Becky called. I am glad we are keeping our monthly lunch dates, no matter what: persistence is the name of the game 😉

So, instead of moping around wondering what to do with myself, at 8:05 this December 14^th … I was getting ready to enjoy this day, this year.

Exterior maintenance ...

 

‘Pearl’ for eyebrow & ‘Plum’ eyeshadow; sparkly ‘Navy’ eye accent & 'liner'; ‘Auburn’ Eyebrow Gel & ‘Burgundy’ Mascara; ‘Nude Burn’ Crème Blush, ‘Primrose’ Lipstick & ‘Pink Quartz’ Lipgloss.

 

My pants are fitting looser ... YAY! I may have to make a shopping trip in the Spring ;-)

Lunch date with Becky was a Godsend; it helped ease the ache of today - Bob's 4-year Deathiversity.

Lunch was good. The companionship was good. The convo was good. Becky shared news about her job and her family; she said, “It don’t seem like Bob’s been gone four years – it seems like only yesterday.” I said, “I know.”

THERE WILL NEVER BE A DAY WHEN I DON'T MISS YOU.

Dolly Paron – ‘I Will Always Love You’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHw5xA24ZlE)

She asked me if I was still sticking to my guns about staying single, adding, “Bob would want you to get on with life, Val.” I told her I’ve recently started doing what Bob told me to do – I’ve had three ‘coffee dates’ with Holland. I laughed and said, “Mr. Complication finally wore me down – he flirted persistently for a solid year; and around Thanksgiving this year, I finally accepted the invites. He knows I will always love Bob, and he knows there is a place in my life for him, too: I do like him; he’s a fun guy, and he makes me smile. But life got a little more complicated last week, and things are on hold right now, with Mr. Complication, until they get worked out.”

I also added this little tidbit: “He’s also six years younger than me.” She said, “So?” And I replied, “I’m not sure how I feel about that; it’s weird, to my way of thinking.”

And then … my phone notified me of an incoming text … Holland.

I laughed; and Becky said, “He’s persistent.”

I said, “I know! I haven’t dated in 48 years, Becky – I’m not used to being pursued; I don't know how to do this. Hahaha.”

After we finished our lunch and convo, she picked up the tab – and headed back to work – and I drove home listening to Christmas songs (first time since 2018). Holland is responsible for this year's good mood, even if everything is wrapped in complications ;-)

Grieving the loss of Bob's presence in my life, is very different this year.

I spoke with Holland on the phone, around 6:30 PM. He apologized for what went down at Oak Point, and made sure I got the message that he is trying to remedy the break between us: "I believe in us Baby, and you will too. I'll make this right."

We’ll see, and time will tell.

Leon – ‘I Believe In Us’ song:

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xlmbZPzec0)

I am persistently doing my best to move forward as Bob told me to do – and as Elohim expects me to do: living in the past is not living to the full potential of the time given me. I know that. I am moving forward, inch by inch, in unfamiliar territory. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know that this year has opened my eyes – and heart to possibilities I never imagined possible a year ago. I’m looking towards a future now 😊