SHABBAT NIGHT AT HOME ~ Yeshua Is Center of My Attention

The mood of a Shabbat Friday evening is an overlay of femininity, permeated with the aura of an espousing. It is chiefly a sensual time, where all the senses are engaged: abounding with good food, soft candlelight, songs that speak to the heart, quiet talk to feed the soul, and pleasure of both the physical and spiritual love.

Though I had, around age 7 and 8, suspected my family was Jewish due to the weekend rituals my mother always kept (special Supper meal, lighting of candles, adding an extra plate to the table ‘for Elijah’ during Passover, and extra company Friday evenings) – my mother always denied we were Jewish despite ALL of our birth names being Jewish in origin. I understood her denial – her mother’s family had been immigrants from Europe during the anti-Semitism upheavals in the 1940’s; but I was frustrated by her continual denials of what was obvious.

Going with my gut feeling – and having that gut feeling affirmed by a Jewish man who saw my Name on a check I wrote (he read it and asked, “Are you Hebrew?”), I started embracing Messianic Christianity in 1978 (I had been a Christian since 1965) … and Bob, after his 1981 salvation experience, joined me in finding/fellowshipping in Messianic Fellowship: first in Portland, OR. for 17 years – then later, in Vancouver, WA; where we had fellowshipped for 19 years, until Summer of 2017. The last communal Shabbat Friday Bob and I enjoyed together, was at Rehoboth; I haven’t been back to Rehoboth since: and I don’t think I will ever go back as a solo lobo.

I observe Shabbat at home now.

I do not observe orthodox Shabbat.

I am a Christian – a Jewish Christian.

“I Have Decided to Follow Yeshua”: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8jvfdDtoqY)

I observe the 24-hour Shabbat as Yeshua observed it.

I am not bound to religious traditions.

I have bound myself to Christianity – which is a personal relationship with Elohei, and setting the 7^th day aside in recognition of Yeshua’s Day of Rest from all His creation activities (Genesis 2): and the day He blessed for humanity to rest and allow their being to refuel and reenergize (Exodus 20:1-17; Matthew 12).

“Lecha Dodi” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWmcQpzUMHY)

Psalm 92 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUzIHPqUn9c)

I bless my children and grandchildren … even though they dishonor me, and openly/publicly mock Yeshua.

My prayer for the adult’s (who are presently behaving like unruly brats) includes, “Elohim, forgive them: they know not what they do.” For the girls, I ask Elohei would cut through their foolishness … and make them like Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, and Leah. For Azariah, I ask Elohei would place his hand on his life, and make him like Ephraim and Menasheh.

My hope is that someday their understanding will be illuminated; and they too, like Bob when his understanding kicked in, in 1981, will be saved and walk in Yeshua’s footsteps.

I welcome the peace of the Sabbath into my home.

Bob and I loved the message of the ‘Shalom Aleichem’ (Peace Be Unto You) song: “Angels of peace, may your coming be in peace; bless me with peace, and bless my prepared table. May your departure be in peace, from now and forever. Amen.”

“Shalom Aleichem” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0H2-8IKIGlw)

I remember that even though Bob now rides the clouds and is no longer a true husband to me … all of our 44 years together, he declared his love to me and publicly stated his appreciation for me (even to his last day on Earth, while in OHSU).

For him, for as long as I was his wife, who walked Earth beside him, I became the woman in Proverbs 31:10-31; and I basked in his praise.

I miss Bob.

I miss that woman.

But, now, I bask in Yeshua’s Husbandly praise.

And I enjoy approval of a great host of witnesses.

(Hebrews 12:1)

My role is different now.

I drink a goblet of wine – red wine, on Friday evening. Red symbolizes the shed blood of Yeshua at Calvary, for my sanctification. The wine in and of itself – symbolizes joy.

I make Challah … 3-cord braided; to represent the goodness of the Triune Godhead – Father (Elohim), Son (Yeshua), & Spirit (Ruach Ha’Kodesh) = 3 in 1/God.

I meditate on Scripture – authentic Scripture – pre-obama era. I do not have in my home, or in my mind obamanite scriptures that were printed to preach a different gospel that panders to the perverse and debauched ... a different gospel that advocates sin and teaches that living a life in sin is okay.

I meditate on “old-school” Scriptures that were printed many, many generations ago, closely following the Torah and Early Church teachings closely guarded and handed down through time (the Yeshua era before and following His earthly birth/death) verbatim.

I stumbled across this vid, that speaks to the days we are currently living: it is a worth a listen.

“Is This the End?” (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sp6isecYB3E)

I listen to Shabbat songs that honor the 24-hour period … and honor Yeshua in content.

“Yeshua HaMashiach – Jesus Is Lord”: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-j_1e13qlE)

“Kadosh”: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9995T-G4GdE)

“Yavo Eleinu”: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTdnhzR64u0)

“Ata Tzuri”: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EY4FLQ1dxyE)

This is His Day. 

A day He shares with me: to bless me. 

As the day fades and evening settles, I light my candle and look towards the Heavens.

Bob lives there now.

And someday, my bridegroom, Yeshua, will call for me also: whether I shed my earthly shell naturally … or He mysteriously gathers me to Him when He returns (1 Thessalonians 4:16-17).

Either way, I am ready.

“He Will Hold Me Fast”: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNi3ejUCYrY)

I long to see Him face-to-face.

“My Souls Longs for The Lord”: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaVDsuUeE1A)

But until that day I honor my husbands, by honoring Yeshua with this 24-hour period where I put the world and all its lunatic craziness aside, and life in/with Him, as the center of my attention 😊

L'Chiam!

ILLUSIVE JEANS SNAGGED

I had breakfast with a friend this morning; then I zipped over to Dick Hannah’s to have the Highlander’s back end and right back tire checked – the other afternoon; in Oregon, on the stretch of roadway between Astoria and Svenson, a moron in a jacked-up pickup literally ran me off the road … and I hit the shoulder at road speed, bumping into and over a ragged pothole.

MPO is that Oregon driver’s are the worst driver’s on the planet.

They are mean spirited. 

They are self-centered. 

They are rude. 

They are obnoxious.

They are very aggressive. 

They are stoned 24/7/365.

I really do not like Oregon driver’s.

I heard the Highlander’s backend bounce as the dust settled. When I crossed the bridge at Rainier, and set down in Longview – I drove to Dick Hannah’s Toyota Shop to have the car and tire checked: the pothole was pretty ragged and I worried I may have skinned the tire on the sharp edges. I was told by a stuffy attendant I’d have to bring the car in for a checkup in the morning, at 10 AM., because “it could take hours to check out.”

Matt checked it over – and gave it a good report: no damages. And, he refilled the windshield wiper fluid. I was relieved it did not “take hours” – I was in and out in half an hour.

And I decided that I’d make another trip to Warrenton, instead of waiting until next Monday. I’m no good at putting things off … if something needs doing, I just want to get it done so I can move onto other things that also need doing.

So, off I went.

Making my way across town to the bridge that would drop me on the Oregon side, I saw a VW Bug tricked out in a woman’s obsessive fantasy.

She had had her VW Bug painted to match dalmatian dogs – and the nose of the car was painted to mimic a red dog collar. 

What an amazing sight … 

Her car seat covers were dalmatian print.

Her back window was filled with stuffed dalmatians.

SHE HAD 2 DALMATIAN DOGS in the back seat!

I got the feeling she really, REALLY liked the 101 Dalmatians movie 😉

Warrenton from Longview is a little over an hour away, and I didn’t plan on staying any longer than it took to return the clothes that didn’t fit/replace them or take the $$ and run; I wanted to make this my last trip to Warrenton, until I pass through there in July sometime.

Clothes returned to Warrenton - OR, again.

Warrenton, OR from Longview, WA - 1 hr.11 mins.

Bob & Aza feeding the seals at Seaside. 2017; Aza barked with the seals, who were barking for fish tidbits. It was hilarious.

Seaside, OR from Longview, WA - 1 hr.23 mins.

I had returns for two different stores.

I had just about given up any hope of ever finding regular jeans … and then, I spotted them 😊

2 pairs of jeans: actual jeans, not the ‘jeggings’ (stretchy cigarette leg jeans that fit like leggings).

I found 2 pairs of jeans! Hallelujah ...

I snapped them up and headed the car towards home 😉

The temperature had soared to 83-degrees by 4 PM.

I just wanted to be home.

The 3 trips to Warrenton – practically back-to-back – was giving me road fatigue.

So, I was happy to catch sight of Mt. St. Helen’s, the Port of Longview, and home base; coming into Rainier.

Even though Mt. St. Helen’s is now lopsided, she still beckons.

When I got home, I watered the garden area as well as my geranium pots under the carport; rain is forecast for tomorrow (50%), but the humidity today was very drying, so I gave everything a drink of water to stave off heat stroke until tomorrow arrives.

And I noticed that the yellow tea rose bush Bob bought for me as a gift 20 years ago, is blooming this week.

I am glad – it is a living link to Bob. 

When I see it, I smile all over.

The Tea Rose Bob gave me 20 years ago is still thriving; and blooming this week.

I AM MORPHING INTO A KARDASHIAN

Jared came early this morning to wash the exterior windows, skylights, and clean the gutters.

Outside windows cleaned this morning.

Skylights cleaned ... no more ashy smut cutting into the view; and gutters were cleared, too.

After he finished, and left … I decided to drive to Warrenton, Oregon, to return some of the clothing items I had bought last Thursday.

Back to Warrenton ...

All I want is a regular pair of jeans!

Apparently, I am morphing into a kardashian.

Not in attitude, lifestyle, finances, or neighborhood.

Mostly in my {bodacious curves}.

Without “enhancement” butt cushioned pants, or silicone breast implants.

My curves are all natural.

I am a curvy, full-figured woman.

It can be a bit much for my small frame.

Finding clothes that fit “all parts of me at the same time” is tricky.

Purchasing clothes that fit me in this demonrat and rhinorepub political nightmare is a continual rollercoaster of buying/bringing home … trying on/returning to store to refund/replace.

Every damned thing is made in china or the Philippines … and sized to fit straight-as-a-board-midgets.

I’m petite – but I am also a mature woman with a mature figure.

I have mature breasts; my breasts have nursed a baby, and ‘blossomed’ under 44 years of continual (and welcome 😉) manhandling loving ministrations. They’re no longer what they used to be. 

I have hips that have ushered life into this world; my hips will never again look like those airbrushed models who “were 300 pounds following childbirth – and now looking like 17 again, after a gym membership”. I'm calling BULLSHIT on the bullshit hype. My hips are what they are. 

I have mature thighs; even with the constant 4- to 5-mile hikes, age and genetics gets their hooks into everyone. My thighs are still nice – given my age and curvy genetic pool; but, they are now 64-year-old thighs … loooong past the boyish, coltish 20-year old’s designers cater to. 

And at 64, I also have a mature ass; and I’ll leave that ‘right there’. No explanation is needed.

I have lost a significant amount of weight with the onset of widowhood 28 months ago; but I’ve also aged 10 years, too, in that short period of time (from 61 to 64). Stress ages the body … and it is beginning to show.

Bob’s love kept Spring in my life – now my life feels the stress of his physical absence in it.

Aging is taking its toll; and cashing in on my gene pool DNA (my mother's contribution to how my aging shape is shaping up).

When I see my reflection in the mirror, all I see looking back at me as I swivel to view all angles, is that I am beginning to look like a dwarfed kris kardashian (she has smaller breasts that I do, but there is a definite similarity in the ass and thighs).

But I don’t have a seamstress at hand to make beautifully tailored clothing for me that actually fits me in all the places the clothing I am constantly returning, does not.

The clothes I had before widowhood needs replacing: most no longer fit, and some are threadbare. I’m not indulging in spending sprees – I really need new clothes … and stores are only stocking clothing for underdeveloped teenagers.

Apparently, the power-hungry politician’s intent on isolating “the elderly for their own good” also think we should be naked, as well: as the only business they are encouraging are with countries that not only hate Americans, but make clothes for unrealistic doll sized bodies.

It’s ridiculous as well as frustrating. 

After I got back home tonight, and tried things on; I was happy to see that there are only 3 things that have to go back to Warrenton next week – possibly Monday, as it will be raining here through the weekend.

I like the drive, and I am learning the route. But making the 3-hour return drive every other day is no longer fun.

Hopefully, there will be no more return trips after Monday.

And maybe … maybe … I will find those illusive jeans I am still searching for 😉

SIMPLE HOME ALARM

Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

Tell your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your parents, your Dr's office, the check-out girl at the market, everyone you run across. Put your car keys beside your bed at night.

If you hear a noise outside your home or someone trying to get in your house, just press the panic button for your car. The alarm will be set off, and the horn will continue to sound until either you turn it off or the car battery dies.

This tip came from a neighborhood watch coordinator. Next time you come home for the night and you start to put your keys away, think of this: It's a security alarm system that you probably already have and requires no installation. Test it. It will go off from most everywhere inside your house and will keep honking until your battery runs down or until you reset it with the button on the key fob chain. It works if you park in your driveway or garage.

If your car alarm goes off when someone is trying to break into your house, odds are the burglar/rapist won't stick around. After a few seconds, all the neighbors will be looking out their windows to see who is out there and sure enough the criminal won't want that. And remember to carry your keys while walking to your car in a parking lot. The alarm can work the same way there. This is something that should really be shared with everyone. Maybe it could save a life or a sexual abuse crime.

P.S. I am sending this to everyone I know because I think it is fantastic. Would also be useful for any emergency, such as a heart attack, where you can't reach a phone. My Mom has suggested to my Dad that he carry his car keys with him in case he falls outside and she doesn't hear him. He can activate the car alarm and then she'll know there's a problem.

This may save a life!

ASTHMA ATTACK ~ Solo Lobo

I went to fellowship today – the early morning drive went smoothly.

I was feeling pretty good; there was a lot of pollen in the air when I walked to the car, so I used my inhaler to keep my lungs from seizing up. Then I drove to Baker’s Corner to top the gas tank off (just habit; Bob always kept the tank full, ‘just in case’ 😉), and grabbed a quick breakfast casserole to eat once I reached my destination … as well as a canned coffee drink (I didn’t have time to make a cup at home).

I am continually awed by the way Yeshua created Earth and everything pertaining to it - and us, humans.

Yeshua designed Earth and humans as a synchronized unit.

When I arrived at the fellowship building, I was early, so I ate my casserole and finished off the canned drink.

I was inside the building for about 5-10 minutes: and had to leave because I could feel a fit of coughing coming on – I was in full-blown asthma mode; and it surprised me because I had used my inhaler before I pulled out of the carport at home.

Synchronization with creation was out of step ☹

Fellowship inside the building was short lived ... I was hit with a hefty asthma attack.

The asthma attack was severe enough to override the albuterol inhaler – it’s a new inhaler, so it should have been potent enough to hold the attack at bay.

I wasn't asked to leave - I chose to leave to keep harmony among the Body.

The onset was confusing. 

It was uncomfortable: I was struggling to breathe, my heart rate was accelerating with the constraining struggle, and it refused to be controlled.

I don't question Elohim - ALL THINGS work together for the good of those who believe in Yeshua. 2 Corinthians 12:7 & Romans 8:28.

It was frustrating to experience solo lobo. 

I missed Bob’s presence. 

I trusted Yeshua’s presence. 

It could have been triggered by the May Day Bouquet I received yesterday, the visible pollen in the air – or by the caffeinated canned drink … or by the combination of the 3 together; there’s no way to know what brought it into play.

I was calmly contemplating my mortality. 

In a parking lot – counties from home.

While I was sitting in the car hoping to regain strength to make the drive back home; the pastor came out and asked if I was okay. I said I have asthma and had used my inhaler; but I was coughing as my lungs tried to settle down, and I didn’t want to alarm anyone who was concerned about covid. He said that no one would be concerned – and I was welcome to sit in the sitting room, off the foyer, and listen to the message … and cough if I needed to … without concerns being raised.

I was thankful!

It is good to be part of a Bible-believing (no fear) fellowship.

This morning was Communion morning – I wanted to participate 😊

The last time I had partaken of Communion was with Bob 4 years ago, at our Messianic Fellowship in Vancouver.

I have been missing it.

And, this morning, Elohei was mercifully faithful.

After fellowship, I took the short way home instead of going the long loop route. Passing through Rosburg, I saw a sign advertising a fundraiser lunch at the Rosburg Hall: so, I nipped in there.

I like lasagna; and I was hungry.

I like County Fairs; and don’t mind helping to keep the tradition alive and kicking, for the upcoming generation.

I don’t recall ever having seen bull riders at the Wahkiakum Fair: it sounds interesting.

While there, Aunt Frieda and Uncle John walked through the door … and we enjoyed a good 2 hour companiable convo with hugs, kisses, laughter, joking with each other, and catching up all around 😉

I am sure Bob was smiling, if he was watching us.

And the asthma settled down enough to enjoy the visit.

But it is still lingering, and making my chest ache.

THERE IS NO CURE FOR ASTHMA. Asthma can be controlled - but there is no cure.

I have talked to Elohim about it.

I have prayed about it.

I keep an inhaler on hand – I used it several times today.

I have entrusted my life to Yeshua. 

Whatever happens … happens. 

I have been ready to go Home since 1965. 

I am not flip with my life; I respect life. 

I understand seriousness of situations. 

And I trust Yeshua 100% with my life.

Whatever will be; will be.