SEX IN THE GARDEN

Yesterday morning, before going to Keenager’s, I stopped at Great Clips and had my hair shagged – I kept the length because Bob loved my hair long, but I had it styled with shaggy layers because I like it that way; and it isn’t so hot on my neck when it is shagged.

But, I noticed when I got home, that the gray doesn’t look like perfectly blended highlights anymore – not liking THAT. But, what’s done is done. I am going to keep it this way, because the layered look works best for me; and hopefully the gray hairs will come in nicely again - like before I had it shagged …

This morning, while watering my garden beds (temps reached 91-degrees), I saw that the Walla Walla Onion tops are starting to fall over, so they need to be yanked, cut, and frozen; I can start doing that tomorrow:

I silks showing on the Painted Mountain Corn was flirting shamelessly with the pollen laden tassels – so I carefully broke off an arm of a tassel, and manually fertilized the tassels, hoping to guarantee cob success.

Sex in the garden got a helping hand.

I tried not to blush ;-)

 I used one of these pollen laden tassels to stroke the silks with: e.v.e.r.y. silk was stroked thoroughly.

In the next bed, a Squash Bee was busy fertilizing my Spaghetti Squash meandering among the Kandy Corn stalks.

I like seeing the bees at work, but they do make me nervous: bees, yellow jackets, hornets, and wasps will kill me if they sting me; so, I cut them a wide berth when I spot one. Still, I never KNOW for sure that they are not burrowed deeply into a blossom – they are easy to miss when they are seriously going about their business.

But, I refuse to allow fear to rule my life …

Squash Bee; it looks like it is wearing a little fur vest.

Tassels were poking their heads up out of the leaves on the Kandy Corn plant too:

The Jack-Be-Little Pumpkins have colored up, plumped out, and look very nice …

At the foot of the pumpkin hill, the Fennel is coming along quite nicely too:

And, the hanging Currant Tomato plant is loaded with tiny tomatoes waiting to ripen …

I was in my garden area for 2-1/2 hours. I have bright red arms to show. And they smarted too when I stretched the seat belt across them – it was too hot, and I was too beat to cook Dinner tonight; so I picked up a Liver & Onions meal at The Indy Diner.

And when I got home and parked, I saw a feather at my feet:

I love you, Babe.

Always.

OX

LAUGHTER WHEN I DIDN'T EVEN FEEL LIKE SMILING

My afternoon was crazy - I had to use "the F Word" ... which means my fight button was pushed.

I hate that.

But just a second ago, a humorous newlywed memory (out of the blue) of Bob & I caught "in a moment" made me bubble over with laughter that I am sure the neighbors on both sides of our home heard.

I like that sound.

Laughter.

Even now, Bob can make me laugh.

When I didn't even feel like smiling.

I LOVE that about him.

I love you, Babe.

Always.

OX

GRIEF’S SNEAKER WAVE EFFECT

The sneaker waves of grief are the worst.

They act like ocean sneaker waves ...

You are unaware that they are building: there is no warning. Life seems calm.

They creep slowly towards you: nothing appears alarming. There is no reason to seek shelter or to brace yourself against the onslaught. Life seems calm.

Then - SWIFTLY - they ACT.

The gentle lapping of the waves is whipped into a snaring, snarling, frothy onslaught that wraps around your ankles and YANKS you OFF you feet. Dragging you out to sea.

You have been caught in nature's snare.

There is no escape. You are held fast in it's grip and you wonder how water - so transparent, so LIGHT, so beautiful - can be so unrelenting, so steadfast, SO DEADLY.

You are helpless; to be swiftly carried along in the vicious wake.

Ocean sneaker waves - unless there is help available - will, 9 times out of 10, end in death.

The sneaker waves of grief can also be so unrelenting. So steadfast. But, 9 times out of 10, they don't lead to death.

We may FEEL like we are dying a thousand deaths in 1 heartbeat.

But that is just our heart reminding us that we are alive.

And we still feel.

Love hurts.

But love also heals.

Grief, 9 times out of 10 LEADS TO a healing ...

BLUE SKY

Woke up this morning to blue skies, so I jumped into some clothes and went outside first thing to water the garden boxes before the day got too hot and too humid.

The new neighbor's grandma came over to chat across the border, gave me compliments about my garden, (I complimented my husband and gave him credit for the garden boxes, which makes gardening possible) and said it may rain Wednesday – I hope so: the rain will water my garden without depleting the rain barrel cache, and the rain barrels will refill the water I drained off this morning ;-) 

You would think that with all the rain we have been getting, my garden would be doing better than it is; but that is not the case.

My garden is struggling so much, that I am beginning to think planting it was futile and a waste of time: everything is so stunted and scrawny. But, I am a die-hard, and as long as it all is growing and putting out something sustainable, I will hang in there and do what needs done to gather whatever is harvestable … skimpy as that may be/is:

These cabbages will be ready to harvest soon. They are so darned cute – hope the taste is good.

I thought the hanging currant tomatoes would do better than they are (the seed catalog raved about their 'bushiness' and output) – maybe they will IF the sunny blue skies, and summery weather holds. The fruit is very tiny …

Currant Tomatoes. So far, all I have managed to gather from this plant is 5 or 6 tiny tomatoes like this one pictured, every couple of days; this plant does not put out a heavy crop.

The zucchini squashes are holding even – small sized vegetables that don’t seem to plump out; again, that could change IF the weather decides to straighten up; and give us temperate temperatures and sunny blue skies required to give a respectable harvest yield.

Right now, the fruits are setting and ripening – but many of them rot on the vine/stem because of the wet and humid conditions, and crazy fluctuating sultry/chilling temperatures. The Butternut squash, which I was anticipating this Fall, does not look very promising at all, in any respects. The yellow and zucchini squashes are putting out fruits (I counted 3 yellow, and I counted 5 on the zucchini plant), but they aren’t lengthening or plumping out – I do have recipes that call for baby squash, and I could do that – but I do want some of them to get bigger, I’m just not sure that will happen this year.

But, the Marigolds are pumping out the blossoms like mad:

Golden Star Yellow Squash.

Butternut Squash. Has not really grown much at all since it was transplanted into the garden bed. It may be a dud that produces nothing.

Cash Machine Zucchini.

Cash Machine Zucchini. Bonanza Marigolds. 1 zucchini looks like it is rain damaged, and rotting away.

My Apple Trees rebounded from the severe pruning I did to get rid of the blight, and they are leafing out pretty nice. There will be no apples this year, but if I have managed to save the trees, I will consider that a victory.

I do not want to lose these trees to disease - Bob bought them for me for a Mother's day gift, 2 houses and 12 years ago; I am tired of losing things that connect me to my past life's status …

I will be watching these leaves; a few look suspicious.

All leaves on this tree are looking healthy ((((YAY!)))

The gathering of beans from this plant will be very small, but that’s okay. I didn’t want to plant too many Cannellini plants – I don’t even know if I will like these beans; but I have recipes that call for them, so I thought I’d give them a try:

Cannellini Lingot Beans. For drying.

And the Thyme sprigs were dry enough today to pluck and store them; so I did …

And that concludes my ‘work’ day ;-)

Your garden boxes design/build did good, Babe; I was able to get a full-sized garden planted in them. If the harvest is skimpy this year, it will be no fault of yours: the weather is not cooperating – can you talk to Yeshua about that? I’d really like to be able to get more out of the harvest this year than the skimpy take I am anticipating.

I love you.

Always.

OX

TRUMP UNLEASHES ON THE SQUAD MORONS

A WIDOW'S SHABBAT

I am not a religious person, BUT I DO observe specific Shabbat things – not everything that is traditionally observed by Jews globally; because as I already stated, I am not a religious person. I do make Challah and eat it with Honey Butter … and I drink 1 goblet of wine at sunset Fridays, and 1 goblet of wine at sunset on Saturdays. I haven’t been able to do the candle lighting yet; and I haven't been able to put on Shabbat music either – I have the music, and the pretty brass Shabbat Candle Holder, but it is too painful to do by myself at this time (the Sabbath was something Bob & I did together for decades after he became a Messianic Christian, with me). Maybe later on I can do those things again with gladness.

The Father knows my heart; He understands that healing takes time … 

Wine is a very beneficial Biblical drink that can help the healing process when drank in the right way: with self-discipline. The Psalmist sang, "Thou dost cause grass to grow for the cattle and plants for men to cultivate that he may bring forth food from the earth and wine to gladden the heart of man, oil to make his face shine, and bread to strengthen man's heart (Psalm 104:14-15).

And “A merry heart does good, like medicine; but a broken spirit dries the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22).

Sampling fruit of the vine as perfectly acceptable for a Christian ;-) Drinking wine is okay - drunkenness is the sin.

But I don’t get all ‘traditional’ on the Sabbath, because I don’t want to get caught up in a religious ritual that Yeshua came to abolish. The rabbis attached too many things to what was Elohim’s original Shabbat Plan.

So I keep things light and simple, while still being faithful to do as Elohei commanded.

I am a Messianic Jew … but, I am also a Christian: the 2 are intertwined as Yeshua exampled, and commanded.

While Shabbat occurs on Friday evening and through to Saturday evening, it is more than simply another day of the week. It is a special day and we invest it with specialness. Friday and Saturday come automatically, but Shabbat takes place only when we make it happen. We prepare for Shabbat by the clothes we wear, by the meals we eat, by the lighting of Sabbath candles, and by blessing the wine to set apart at this special time.

We are in the presence of a King on Shabbat. And we welcome His heavenly ambassadors too.

I chose 2 specific wines: 1 dark and rich; the other light and mellow. This month I chose 2 wine flavors Bob liked; because though my mind was on Elohei and the goodness I have been blessed with, as you can in the picture - I kept a bit of Bob with me this Shabbat:

1 goblet of  Blackberry wine at the beginning of the Sabbath – Kiddush: sanctification

And 1 goblet of Strawberry wine at the end of the Sabbath – Havdalah: separation. I like the pretty blue & white 3-braid havdalah candle burning too, but those candles are not available locally - and I don't do city driving.

Rest, worship and study are essential elements of Shabbat observance. The principle of Shabbat is to sanctify time. The whole of Shabbat is greater than the sum of its parts. It is more than lighting candles, drinking wine, or attending a service. We sanctify Shabbat by setting it apart, making it distinctive, and differentiating it from the rest of our week: "Six days a week we live under the tyranny of things of space; on the Sabbath we try to become attuned to holiness in time."

THE WOMAN BEFORE ME

People reading my Blog probably think Bob and I had a perfect marriage the way I talk about our union: and we did for the past 43 years.

But we had actually separated before our 1^st Anniversary.

Bob & I were married 11 months when I packed everything I owned and walked out the door with our infant daughter.

I was tired of living with Gloria's shadow.

Both of us were people with baggage when we came together.

But Bob's 1st marriage was the most damaging obstacle to overcome: the 7 destructive years he was married to her ... and the 14 months that previous 7 years was souring our relationship.

I couldn't take any more.

So I left.

Knowing he wouldn't follow.

He had told me that early on in our marriage: "If you leave, I won't chase after you."

I KNEW what Gloria had put him through for 7 years before me.

I knew he meant what he said.

But I meant what I said too: I was not going to live with her shadow anymore.

It was bad enough that when their son came to visit every weekend, I had to hear him parrot what she told him before dropping him off (or we picked him up) on Fridays.

Alex eventually went home Sunday afternoon.

Gloria's shadow hung around 24/7/365.

She DID A LOT OF DAMAGE in 7 years time.

So, that July night, when I called my stepfather to come and get my daughter and me - and I threw all our belongings in the back of the pickup: I knew it was over.

He wasn't going to chase after me.

And that was okay with me.

I was pretty steamed up.

A week passed.

I got a job and went to work.

I had a baby to take care of.

On my own.

He wasn't going to chase after me.

9 days later there was a knock on my parent's back door.

And there stood Bob.

With flowers, and his heart on his sleeve.

"I love you, Val. Please come home."

I wanted to run into his arms and never leave again.

But, I needed to know.

"Is the shadow gone?"

"Yes. You taught me to love, Val. And I came chasing after you. Please come home."

What could I do?

I went and got our daughter, and Bob collected all our stuff and threw it in the back of his pickup; and we went home.

And the woman before me never cast her crazy shadow in our life again.

The following 43 years would be as near perfect as humanly possible ;-)

We had a good marriage because we determined to have a good marriage.

Good marriages don’t “just happen”: they take work, upkeep, and maintenance.

And love.

Love is the foundation.

Bob & I gave each other a LOT of love :-D