ENERGIZED

This morning I woke up energized, so I drove into town to drop off the huge bag of donation items I worked on all of last month and this month to date ... 3 lapghans, 50 baby hospital hats, & 10 children's chemo hats (hated doing that! So sad they are needed ...); then I stopped at Lowe's to return the toilet fixtures I bought last month and won't need now that I broke down and hired a plumber to come in and fix what needs fixing.

While at Lowe's, I also bought 2 large bags of Miracle Grow soil to begin filling the planter boxes with. Man! Those bag were heavy - so I got one of the garden center fellas to help me load them onto the cart and into my car ... and prayed like crazy all the way back home that I would be able to wrestle them out of the car and into the wheelbarrow, and then dump them into the boxes. If they were dry there would have been no problem, but they had been out in the rain and were saturated, so they weighed 3x their purported weight. Well, I did manage to wrestle them out of the back end of the car and into the wheelbarrow where the bag had to be balanced 'just right' so I didn't spill it out wobbling it over the river rock to the planter box I was aiming for: I only filled each box filled 1/2 full because it seemed more encouraging to me to do it that way; I will go back into town later on and get a few more bags and top the boxes then, but today I needed to feel accomplished, so half full boxes fit the bill today:

Boxes filled to today's specifications, and filling accomplished on that score, I decided to tidy up the other planter boxes we filled to capacity last year and finished with that task, I tackled pulling weeds and yanking grass clumps out of the river rock and lava rock in the back yard (sorry about the audio: struggling a little to breathe; I was born with weak lungs) ...

3 hours of steady work outside in breezy 80-degree weather was a lift to my heart today. I honestly did not know if I would be able to complete the goal of dealing with the planter boxes because those 2 I filled 1/2 full are 2 of the last 6 Bob built for me before all hell broke loose in August which led to his death in December - but I DID IT without a single tear or sudden gripping of my heart.

And I swear I could feel him at my elbow smiling that sexy smile of his and encouraging me with every shake of that bag as the soil spilled out.

I hope I feel him close to me tonight, and smiling with encouragement when I try to move later on. LOL! The backs of my legs are burning and my butt muscles are aching. But it is good pain.

And it beats crying all day long.

Bob would want me to start getting busy again with the stuff I used to do - and with stuff we used to do together: haven't reached that point yet, but I will.

Because he had faith in me that I would.

And I need to, to heal my broken heart.

MOD JADE FLOWER GRANNY SQUARE LAPGHAN

This pattern is not one of my own, though the design of the squares and how they are pieces together is my own design.

Finished MOD JADE FLOWER LAPGHAN

JADE FLOWER vine of the Philippines. My inspiration ;-)

I will post the original pattern titled, “Baby Granny” as it was originally printed waaaaay back in the 1980’s, with notation of original yarn used which you will have to research and substitute because it is no longer being made: but I made MOD Lapghan using worsted weight yarns and patterned it after the Philippine Jade Flower vine one day when I was really missing my handsome little 4 year old Filipino grandson – so I went online to see what type of flowers grew in the Philippines and was captivated by the pretty Jade Flower vine … and I just happened to have the right color yarns in my cache too, so I worked a design around the flower and the yarn:

Squared pieces being pieced together

This lapghan is another hospital donation item – I want my donation items to be bright and cheerful because the hospital can be such a depressing place. I designed my lapghan around a quilt pattern placement which differs from the original pattern granny squares placement, so my count of total squares designed was also different – and that is okay ;-) The original pattern is simply a stitch pattern … use it as a guide and design your own finished item: or stick to the original if you wish :-D

==BABY GRANNY

Materials: Winsome Yarn by Bucilla – 8 oz. White (A) & 4 oz. EA of Delft Blue (B) and Tapestry Pink (C); crochet hook #F; yarn needle

Gauge: 1 square = 4-1/4 inches

Method: Number 1 Square – Rnd 1 (right side): With B ch 4, join with a slip st in first ch to forma ring, ch 4, work 1 dc in ring, *ch 2 for corner, work a shell of – 1 dc, ch1, 1 dc – in ring; repeat from * twice more, ch 2, join with sl st in 3^rd ch of ch 4; 4 hells with ch 2 spaces at each of 4 corner.

Rnd 2: Ch 1, turn, sl st into ch 2 space, ch 4, 1 dc in same space, ch 2 for corner, work shell of – 1 dc, ch1, 1 dc – in same space, *ch 1, skip next shell, work – 1 shell, ch 2 for corner, 1 shell – all in next ch 2 space; rpt from * twice more, ch 1, join with sl st in 3^rd ch of ch 4; 8 shells and 4 corner spaces. Fasten off.

Rnd 3: Turn, join A with sl st in any ch 2 corner space, ch 4, 1 dc in same space, ch 2, work 1 shell in same space, * ch 1, skip next shell, work 1 shell in next ch 1 space, ch 1, skip next shell, work 1 shell, ch 2, 1 shell in next corner space; rpt from * twice more, ch 1, skip next shell, work 1 shell in next ch 1 space, ch 1, join with a sl st in 3^rd ch or ch 4; 12 shells and 4 corner spaces. Fasten off A.

Rnd 4: Turn, join B with sl st in any h-2 corner space ch 4, 1 dc in same space, ch 2, 1 shell in same space, + *ch 1, skip next shell, work 1 shell in next ch 1 space *; rpt between *’s once more, ch 1, skip next shell, work 1 shell, ch 2, 1 shell in next corner space; rpt from + twice more, rpt between *’s twice, ch 1, join with a sl st in 3^rd ch of ch 4; 16 shells with 4 corner spaces. Fasten off B.

Rnd 5: Turn, join A with sl st to any ch-2 corner space, ch 4, 1 dc in same space, ch 2, 1 shell in same space, + rpt between *’s of rnd 4, 3 times, ch 1, skip 1 shell, work 1 shell, ch 2, 1 shell in next corner space; rpt from + twice more, rpt between *’s of rnd 4, 3 times, ch 1, join with sl st in 3^rd ch of ch 4; 20 shells and 4 corner spaces. Fasten off A. Make 31 Number 1 Squares in all.

Number 2 Square – Work same as Number 1 Square, but work Rnds 1, 2, and 4 with C; Rnds 3 & 5 with A. Make 32 Number 2 Squares in all.

Finishing: Arrange squares alternately (Number 1 Square-Number 2 Square-Number 1 square, ect.: 7 across & 9 down), keeping seams as elastic as crochet fabric, from right side sew squares together with color A, using and overhand st and sewing through single top loop of each square, leaving inner loops free to show on each side of se

CUFFED STRETCHY RIBBED HOSPITAL BABY HAT Pattern

Is a gorgeous day and the sky is robin-egg-blue with sparse thin clouds in the far distance. Birds are chirping and it feels like Spring is quietly settling in: last night, about 8:30 p.m., while walking home from a Craft Meet at the Club House it was pleasantly warm at 70-degrees – it felt good. And it was difficult to remember that surprise snowflakes were falling just a short week and a half ago!

I am still recovering from my bout with influenza, and while not contagious, I am still a bit weak and wheezing – but at least I have a full-up inhaler now (I finally broke down and had a friend drive me into ER a few days ago), so breathing is not so difficult or painful anymore. And another friend dropped of a 2-pack DayQuil/NiteQuil the other day which helps with the coughing. Hopefully sometime this week this thing will move along and pester someone else:

While I have been laid up this past month, I worked up some more little baby hospital hats. I had been saving a horde of baby fingering yarn that Bob found for me a few years ago at a Bazaar event we were participating at in Winlock, but since none of our granddaughters 28, 23, and 21 feel inclined to give us great-grandchildren to carry our bloodline into the next generation; and our grandson is only 4 years old and I will be with Bob in the great celestial city beyond the clouds by the time he reaches maturity, there seems to be no real point to continue hoarding the yarn … and making these little hats for the hospital donation foundation would make Bob smile if he were here.

This little hat pattern is not one of my own … I found it doing an internet search for hospital donation items. If I am going to spend countless hours making a donation item for a needy purpose, I want it to be something that will actually be appreciated and used. This little ribbed hat is an item hospitals across the USA ask for and recipients enjoy :-D

I am posting the original pattern without any changes whatsoever; and I am adding pictures of my work as I followed the pattern:

Cuffed Stretchy Ribbed Newborn Hat (worked in the round)

(sized for normal weight newborn baby)

Sport-weight Yarn

Size 6 double pointed needles

Cast on 68 stitches, placing stitches on 3 dpns (24, 20, 24). Join in the round.**

Work Knit 2, Purl 2 ribbing for 6 inches.

Start decreasing:

*Knit 2 together, Purl 2 together* repeat from * for the entire round.

(34 stitches on needles now)

Knit one round.

Knit 2 together around.

(17 stitches on needles now)

Knit one round.

Knit 2 together around.

(9 stitches remaining, including the one stitch left over)

Cut yarn about 6 inches from knitting, then attach yarn needle. Sew the yarn through all 9 stitches, then pull tight.

Thread needle to the inside of the hat, then weave in loose ends.

Give your stretchy hat to the hospital!

STRETCHY BABY HOSPITAL HAT AS IT WOULD LOOK ON BABY

STRETCHY BABY HOSPITAL HAT - CROWN VIEW

THE BOOK OF ROMANS ~Chapter 10

This chapter has been used by many self-righteous and arrogantly ignorant  Christians to defame and smear Jews, as well as the nation of Israel.

In doing so, those use Scripture as a battering ram and a whip of malice are themselves becoming the very thing that Paul is making a point of pointing out …

NO WHERE in Scriptures does it ever say that Elohim rejects the Jews. N.o.w.h.e.r.e. It does, however, state that Elohim rejects those who do not acknowledge HIM and those that think doing good deeds and adhering to a rigid set of rules will gain them entrance into paradise without accepting the atoning blood of The Lamb which covers them with grace and sanctifies them by faith – and that is a warning to everyone: Jew or Gentile.

Do not attempt to read more into Scripture than there is written clearly. In doing so, many have erred from the straight and narrow and gone down that long and twisting road of heresy and perdition. Be sure always to read Scripture in context – that is why I post Scripture as it follows, by chapter and verse – to be understood correctly.

THE BOOK OF ROMANS ~Chapter 10

Brethren, it is my heart’s desire and my prayer to Elohim for Israel, that they may be saved. That they have a zeal for Elohim, I know from experience, but they lack certain knowledge. They are densely ignorant about Elohim’s Way of justification and, while they try to earn justification in their own way, they will not submit to Elohim’s Way of becoming justified. The end of the struggle for justification by Law is Mashiach, and it comes to everyone who believes in Him.

Moshe does not say, concerning justification by law, that if a man does what The Law commands, he will live. But the way of getting justification by Faith is different. It speaks thus: “Do not say in your heart, ‘Who shall go up to Heaven?’ – that is, to bring Mashiach down; or, ‘Who shall descend int o Hell?’ – this is, to bring Him back from the dead.” But what does it say? It says, “The Word is near you, in your mouth, and in your heart.” That is The Word of Faith which we preach. “If you will say with your mouth that Yeshua is Lord, and believe in your heart that Elohei has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” For with the heart we believe to righteousness, and with the mouth we make confession to salvation. For it is said in Scripture, “No one who believes in Him shall be put to shame.”

In this there is no difference between the Jew and the Gentile. They all have the same Lord, and He bestows His riches upon all who call on Him. And everyone who calls upon the name of the Lord will be saved.

But how can people call on Him in whim they have not believed? And how can they believe in One of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without a preacher? And how can they preach unless they are sent to do it? Scripture says, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach good news!” (Isaiah 52:7).

Still, they have not all accepted the glad news, even as Isaiah said, “lord, who has believed our message?” So, faith comes by hearing a message, and the message must be from the Word of Mashiach. Now, I ask, have the people not heard? Yes, indeed they have. “Their voices were heard in the whole earth, and their words to the very ends of the inhabitable world” (Psalm 19:4). And again I ask, did not Israel understand? I will let Moshe answer first. He says, “I will let a people that is not a nation make you jealous, and I will let a foolish people make you angry” (Deuteronomy 32:21). And next, let Isaiah speak. He is very bold when he says, “I have been found by some who were not looking for me, and have made Myself known to some who were not seeking to know Me”; But about Israel, He says, “All day long I have stretched out my hands to a disobedient and obstinate People!” (Isaiah 65:1 & 2).

**ROMANS 9: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/03/the-book-of-romans-chapter-9.html

VULTURES AND OTHER VOYEURS

Dealing with death is hard enough without having to suffer the indignities of hovering vultures and morbid curiosities of voyeurs.

Human vultures want to pick your life clean and leave nothing but bones in their wake, and the voyeurs want to pick your brain to satisfy their morbid curiosities about the death process itself. Trying to deal with the 2 are exhausting as the voyeurs always seem to show up while you are wearing yourself out beating back the vultures.

Admittedly, vultures are important in the process of clean-up and moving forward … I’m just not ready yet to have my life picked clean down to bare bones.

Voyeurs, on the other hand, are neither necessary – or welcome – during this personal time of heart-wrenching transition. Voyeurs are more annoying than the circling vultures. Vultures are willing to wait for their turn at you … voyeurs dishonestly shroud themselves with wrapping of goodwill and barge in uninvited with their judgmental morbid curiosities.

Vultures hover around the stench of death in various expected forms: funeral directors, Grief~Share Support Groups, Grief Counselors, ect. – all waiting to “help you though this most difficult time” and to strip your life bare of any remembrance at all of your previous life with “your dearly departed”. These vultures are viewed by many as a necessary interference into your life seriously turned upside down and shaken. I am not so sure I want to be stripped bare of remembrances. So I stand guard over the corpse of my previous life and beat the vultures back.

Voyeurs show up in unexpected forms – family, friends, and acquaintances; all breathlessly curious about “those final moments” and wanting you to relive over and over again those moments you want to move on from. I am glad I was there for my husband when he took his last breath … but I do not want to describe it to anyone else in living color. I do not want to see it in my mind’s eye over and over again.

Now I understand that the voyeurs are curious … and they are probably dealing with end-of-life situations themselves and are searching for information, BUT I find it very insensitive and highly offensive that they would call me and inquire of a newly grieving widow the most intimate details of my husband’s final moments.

And then their morbid curiosities are always followed up with a stupid comment like, “At least he died loving you.”

I want to shout, “BUT HE DIED JUST THE SAME!” That he died loving me doesn’t make his death any less painful, or comforting to me. He is no longer here with me. THAT is my new reality. I KNOW he died loving me – he told me that every day for 44 years, and even while he was dying. But knowing he died loving me doesn’t help ease my heartache when my eyes yearn to see him and my ears strain to hear his voice: and I know that I will never see him again, or hear his voice. I do not want to relieve those final moments in the hospital to help prepare family or friends, or acquaintances for their end-of-life experiences. It is personal. It is not fodder for the morbidly curious.

Yes, I know where my husband is now. And I have joy knowing that. BUT I also miss him here. And I have sorrow knowing that I will never see, touch, or hear him again this side of Heaven. My husband’s physical death left unplanned changes in my present, and my future. My husband’s physical death significantly changed my financial situation. My husband’s death altered e.v.e.r.y.s.i.n.g.l.e.t.h.i.n.g. about my life. But voyeurs don’t want to hear about that part of death.

Voyeurs are generally self-indulgent people who think they own a corner on suffering and want to pick your brain on how you are dealing with your suffering. They aren’t calling so much to comfort you … but more to find a way to comfort themselves with your pain. I know – it sounds wacky. But voyeurs are wacky people who feed on drama trauma.

Death involves grief. Grief is trauma. Trauma can lead to drama if you let it.

Death is heartbreaking on a level that is indescribable. Yet, voyeurs hunger for a tantalizing description of your heartache.

There are no words to describe what it feels like to sit in a funeral home and make end of life arrangements for a person who was your whole world until an hour ago. But those are the words voyeurs call and fish for while you, yourself, are casting around for a life-line in the turbulent and choppy waters of widowhood.

I don’t want to hear that I am lucky my husband died loving me.

My heart hurts. My mind hurts.

I am in pain.

My pain is not on the same measurable scale as a voyeur’s pain because my pain isn’t imaginable – it is real. And I threw the pain scale out in December 2018. I am not measuring pain anymore. I am not comparing pain anymore.

When we measure things, we miss the opportunity to just love one another and support one another through life’s hardest moments. I don’t measure another person’s heartache because my sorrowing journey is different than anyone else’s. We are all unique and our chosen life course is unique. Our pain is unique. And the way we deal with that pain is unique.

I am sorry that our human lives involve pain as well as love.

I am sorry that our human lives take unexpected turns that lead to experiencing pain.

I refuse to compare miseries.

Life is difficult regardless of the road you chose to travel – but it won’t get any easier to travel if one becomes bitter, angry, or carries a grief scale.

Regardless of how death forever changed your present and your future, do not let it stop you from making the most of the moments you have been given to live out the rest of your life.

Grieve for what was and what will never be. Take time for yourself to grow in ways you never imagined you would have to grow; learn and evolve.

Part of personal growth evolution means that you let go of someone else’s silly statements, clueless opinions, and aimless comments made by people in the middle of their own unique storms.

Since the end of August 2018, I have experienced enough of life’s heartaches to know that I do not hold a corner on pain – nor do I want to own a piece of it. At some point in time everyone ends up there.

Regardless of your personal storm and the life circumstances that brought that storm to you, I sincerely hope you learn to dance in the rain and learn to fully live the life you have left.

We are all here for a reason; all of us.

THE BOOK OF ROMANS ~Chapter 9

It is very troubling to me that the American Congress, Senate, and Supreme Court seats are filled with religiously pious anti-Israel showmen and political puppets/puppeteers. The evil demoncrat party is 100% staffed with anti-Christ, anti-American, and anti-Israel racist terrorists that have literally gone to the dogs racing at break-neck-speed on the shady and slippery highway to hell ever since muslim barak hussain obama’s tyrannous political/religious coup in 2000.

It is a National shame and a societal moral disgrace that a great deal of double-talking Americans claiming to speak as Christians, while actually not having any relationship at all with Elohei, or any clear understanding at all of Scripture – or what it means to BE a Christian, have been so hoodwinked and self-hypnotized that they continue to place these wicked morons in seats of governmental power.

As I have stated numerous times before, one cannot be a Christian and be a politician … it is like mixing oil and water: it does not blend and always results in a slimy mess.

It is also glaringly obvious that many people claiming to be Christians do NOT KNOW their Bible! So let today’s study be a refresher course, and maybe – just maybe an eye-opener also to prod them back onto the straight and narrow.

THE BOOK OF ROMANS ~Chapter 9

I am telling the truth in Christ, and am not lying. In this my conscience bears me witness in The Ruach. I have great sorrow and the pain in my heart is unceasing. Indeed, I could even wish that I myself might be sentenced to separation from Mashiach if that would help my brethren, my own blood relatives. They are Israelites, Elohei’s Chosen People. Elohim gave them the glory, the covenants, The Law, the Temple service, and the promises. The patriarchs are of their race, and even Mashiach – according to the flesh – and He is God over all, blessed be forever. Amen.

It is not, however, that the Word of God has failed. Not all the descendants of Israel are true Israelites. And not all the descendants of Abraham are considered the children of Abraham, for the promise was, “Through Isaac shall your posterity be called.” This means that not those who are natural descendants are thereby counted as Elohim’s children, but only the children of the promise are counted. Such a promise was the word, “About this time I will come, and Sarah shall have a son” (Genesis 17:18-21).

And again, a promise came to Rebecca when she was to have twins by our father Isaac. The children were not yet born and they had as yet not done anything either good or bad. And yet Elohim had made an election and wanted His purpose to stand. It was not based on their works, but on His own choice. He said to her, “The elder shall serve the younger.” Scripture also put it this way, “I loved Jacob, but I rejected Esau” (Malachi 1:2).

Now, what shall we conclude? That Elohim is unjust? That cannot be! For He said to Moshe, “I will have mercy on anyone I choose to show mercy, and I will take pity on anyone I want to pity.” Elohim’s mercy, then, is not on account of man’s will or his readiness, but is a matter of Elohim’s choice. Just so, Scripture tells that he spoke to Pharaoh, “I have raised you to high position for the reason that I want to show My power in dealing with you, so that My Name may be made known throughout the world.” So He shows mercy to whomever He chooses, and He hardens the heart of anyone He chooses.

And now you ask, ‘Why does He still find fault?’ Who of us, by resisting, can change His purpose? But, sir, who are you to find fault with Elohim? Shall that which is made say to its maker, ‘Why did you make me so?’ Certainly the potter has the right to make 2 different objects out of the same lump of clay, the 1 for distinguished service and the other for menial use. At times, Elohim is willing to show His wrath and make His power known, yet He endures long and patiently with the objects of wrath who are fit for destruction. He does this in order to make clear to those who are the objects of His mercy, how rich is the glory that he has already prepared for them. Yes, even we are objects of His mercy, Jews and Gentiles alike, as many as He has called.

In Hosea He says, “I will call them ‘My People’ who are not My people, and she who was not loved will be called ‘Beloved’! And in the place where it was said, ‘You are not My People’, they will be called ‘Sons of the living God’” (Hosea 1:10 & 2:23). Isaiah cries out about Israel, “Though the number of Israel is as the sand of the sea, yet only a remnant will be saved. For the Lord will carry out His orders on the earth, concluding each matter with justice and efficiency” (Isaiah 10:22, 23). Isaiah had also said earlier, “If the Lord of Hosts had not left us offspring we would have become like Sodom; we would have fared like Gomorrah” (Isaiah 1:9).

What shall we conclude? That the Gentiles, though not seeking justification, obtained justification; that is, they attained justification by faith. But Israel, on the other hand, though seeking justification through The Law, did not obtain justification. Why not? Because they tried to obtain it by the works of The Law and not by faith. They stumbled over the stone of stumbling. This is foretold in Scripture, “See! I pace in Zion a stone of stumbling, a rock of offense. But everyone who believe on Him shall not be put to shame” (Psalm 118:22 & Isaiah 8:14).

**ROMANS 8: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/02/the-book-of-romans-chapter-8.html

JOHN HALLER - "PARALLELS & GEOGRAPHY"