Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Sunday, September 6, 2020

2020 COOKATHON #4

When Bob & I first married in the Fall of 1974 … I couldn’t cook, to save my soul: my mother never taught me to cook – she taught my younger sister, but she didn’t think I needed to know anything more than how to clean house and babysit while she worked.

She didn’t think anyone would be interested in marrying me: she was totally unprepared for Bob’s arrival on the scene 😉


For about 6 months of our married life, we lived on purchased TV Dinners, hot dogs, pizza (in the “big town/little city” of Longview on paydays), and the occasional hamburger basket when we went dancing weekends.


Bob would never eat peanut butter; and he never came home to find me “eating chicken and dumplings with another man” … but I am eating foods now that he didn’t particularly care for 😉 

I started checking cookbooks out at the neighborhood Library, and taught myself to cook before our daughter arrived in the Spring of 1975. There were a LOT of burned meals, and Bob, bless him … ate every one without complaint, until I got it right:

Bob, me, and the kids.

And though Bob always preferred hot dogs and pizza (his 2 favorites), he started liking the variety of meals I whipped up in the kitchen to the backbeat of the stereo music played at top volume shooting from all 4 corners of the house through the high-def quadrophonic speakers he bought me our first Christmas together 😊

Bob liked my cooking.

And I liked to cook for Bob.

But, Bob is no longer here … and I still have to eat.

So, now I still cook to the backbeat of stereo music blaring from my laptop speakers; and I make full sized meals, breaking them down into widow portions to freeze individually: just a lot easier for my needs now, and better fare than supermarket or restaurant foods – that I do also enjoy occasionally.

I just prefer homestyle meals.

I prefer my own cooking.

I like to cook; but I am a lazy cook – I don’t like standing in front of a hot stove for hours on end … so I cook meals that utilize my crockpots, countertop grill, and minimally use the oven 😉

This is what works for me.

I post recipes in the original full writ – if I dink around with the ingredients to fit my own tastes, I will always say so in my posts.

This cookathon is mostly 3 beef meals; with a pea-ham soup, and a fish meal.

I have not messed with the original recipes this time …

==PUREED SPLIT PEA SOUP ~ about 8 servings

Dill is what gives this pea soup it’s wonderful flavor. Because the tamari and pork already have a significant amount of salt in their processing, I used a salt-free broth (homemade with herbs instead of salt) in preparing this soup. This soup freezes very well.

2 cups dried green Split Peas * 6 cups Water * 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil * 1 large Onion, diced (1 cup) * 2 cloves Garlic, minced * 1 cup chopped Carrot * 1 cup chopped Celery (2 medium stalks) * 4 cups Chicken Stock (homemade or canned) * 2 teaspoons Tamari or Soy Sauce * ¼ teaspoon freshly ground Black Pepper * ½ cup snipped fresh Dill * 1 slice (2 ounces) smoked pork or Ham * 1 cup skim milk, approximately

1. Place the peas and water in a large, heavy Dutch Oven pan, bring the water to a boil; boil the peas for 2 minutes – turn off the heat, and let the peas stand for 1 hour.

2. Heat the oil in a skillet, add the onion, garlic, carrot, and celery … cook, stirring them, for about 5 minutes. Add the vegetables to the soaked peas.

3. Add the broth, tamari, pepper, dill, and pork to the pan. Bring the soup to a boil, reduce the heat to low, and simmer the soup – partially covered, for about 1½ hours (check now and then to make sure the soup is not scorching; add water if needed).

4. In a blender, or food processor, puree the soup with the meat, thinning the soup to the desired consistently with milk. Heat the soup before serving.

*If using a crockpot, just dump all ingredients into the crock and set to High setting until soup boils – then reduce heat to Low and cook 6 hours. Prepare as directed for pureeing soup.*

Split Pea Soup w-Ham Bone.
Split Pea Soup Ingredients (I used frozen chicken stock).

**What I did: I froze my individual servings in freezer baggies.**

==LEMON CHUCK STEAK ~ makes 6-8 servings

1 Chuck Steak, about 3 pounds, cut 1½ -inch thick * 1 teaspoon grated Lemon peel * 2/3 cup Lemon juice * 1/3 cup Salad Oil * ½ teaspoon Salt * 1/8 teaspoon ground Black Pepper * 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce * 1 teaspoon prepared Mustard (I use Dijon type) * ¼ teaspoon Garlic Powder

1. Score fat edges of meat and place in a shallow dish.

2. In a small bowl, combine remaining ingredients; pour over steak. Refrigerate 6 hours – turning occasionally.

3. Remove steak from dish. Pat dry with paper toweling. Grill over hot coals, 12 minutes on each side for rare … or 15 minutes on each side for medium doneness: brushing occasionally with marinade.

A small Beef Chuck Steak, cut in 2 for two meals.
Lemon Chuck Steak Marinade.
Grilled Lemon Chuck Steak.

**What I did: I froze my individual servings in a foil freezer container with half a corn cob, and a serving of sweet potato.**

==BEEF STEW ~makes 5 or 6 servings

1 pound Beef cubes * 1 Tablespoon Shortening * 3 cups hot Water * ½ teaspoon Salt * 1/8 teaspoon ground Black Pepper * 1 large Potato, cut into 1½ -inch pieces (about 1¼ cup) * 1 medium Turnip, cut into 1-inch pieces (about 1 cup) * 2 medium carrots, cut into 1-inch pieces (about 1 cup) * 1 medium Green Bell Pepper, cut into 1-inch pieces (about 1 cup) * 1 medium stalk Celery, cut into 1-inch pieces (about ½ cup) * 1 small Onion, chopped * ½ teaspoon bottle brown Bouquet Sauce * 1½ teaspoon Salt * 1 Beef Bullion cube * 1 Bay Leaf * ½ cup cold water * 2 Tablespoons Flour

1. Cook and stir beef cubes in shortening in a 12-inch skillet or Dutch Oven, until beef is browned. Add 3 cups hot water, ½ teaspoon salt, and the ground pepper. Heat to boiling; then reduce heat. Cover and simmer until beef is almost tender – 2 to 2½ hours.

2. Stir in vegetables, bouquet sauce, 1½ teaspoons salt, bullion, and bay leaf. Cover and simmer until vegetables are tender – about 30 minutes.

3. Shake ½ cup water and the flour together in a tightly covered container (like a small jar); stir gradually into the stew. Heat to boiling, stirring constantly. Boil and stir 1 minute; reduce heat.

*If you are using a crockpot, just dump ingredients into the crock and set to High setting until stew boils; then reduce heat to Low and cook 6 hours.*

Beef Stew in crockpot.

**What I did: I froze my individual servings in freezer baggies.**

==MEAT LOAF ~makes 6 to 8 servings

1 Egg * 1 cup Milk * 3 slices bread, shredded * ½ teaspoon Savory leaves * 1 teaspoon Salt * ¼ teaspoon ground Black Pepper * ¼ teaspoon dry Mustard * ¼ teaspoon Celery Salt * ½ cup chopped Onion * 1 teaspoon Salad Oil * 1-pound Beef, ground * ½ -pound Pork sausage * ½ cup Ketchup * 1 teaspoon dry Mustard

In a large bowl, mix all the ingredients except the ketchup and dry mustard. Turn into a lightly greased 8½ -inch skillet.

Blend the ketchup and dry mustard – spread atop the meatloaf. Bake 60 minutes.

Meat Loaf ingredients.
Meat Loaf ready for oven (I used a round pyrex casserole dish).
Meat Loaf baked.

**What I did: I froze my individual servings in a foil freezer container with a baked potato and a mixed vegetable medley.**

==GRILLED FISH ~makes 4 servings

This pungent Moroccan marinade can be used for many fish suitable for grilling, or broiling – and can also be used to marinate fish before baking. It’s good with firm white-fleshed fish.

12 Garlic cloves, minced * ½ teaspoon coarse Salt * 1 bunch Cilantro, chopped * 1 Tablespoon Paprika * 1 Tablespoon Cumin * Pinch of Cayenne pepper * Juice of 2 large Lemons * 1 teaspoon Olive Oil * 4 6-ounce Halibut, bream, monkfish, or snapper steaks (I used Tilapia fillets) or 1 whole 2-pound fish, cleaned; scales left on, but scored several times on the sides * additional Cilantro sprigs for garnish

1. Pound together the garlic, salt, cilantro, paprika, cumin, and cayenne. Stir in the lemon juice and olive oil. Marinate fish steaks or whole fish in this mixture for several hours – turning from time to time.

2. Grill the fish for 4 minutes for each ½-inch thickness; turning halfway through. Baste with the marinade, and serve at once – garnish with additional cilantro is desired. Chill leftovers and serve cold the next day.

Fish marinade.
Fish marinating.
Grilled Fish.

**What I did: I froze my individual servings in a foil freezer container with cous-cous and spinach.**

**COOKATHON POSTS 2020


BLAST FROM THE PAST #1



I’ll never forget the September day early in our marriage when I was cleaning house and found Bob’s stash of 8-track music tapes.


WHAT A TREASURE CHEST! Cream, Steppenwolf, ZZ Top, Iron Butterfly, Strawberry Alarm Clock, Moody Blues, Pink Floyd – just to name a few I was quickly rummaging through while my head was spinning; all the bands I was familiar with, and wasn’t aware Bob was aware of.

I had no idea my legal-beagle husband had such a wild streak 😉; I hadn’t known Bob in his wild years … as I mentioned many times before, I didn’t even know his Name until we met face to face in March of 1974: I’d met him after he settled down and burned out his teenage persona.


So, when he came home, I grilled him about ‘the find’ and delved into his past: I wanted to know everything about the man I loved; the man I married.


That weekend he took me on a looooong meandering drive over backroads; I packed a lunchbox lunch, filled a thermos with coffee, and bought a 6 pack of beer to enjoy … and we listened to every single 8-track in his music cache :-D

The red-white '56 Ford Bob had when we met in 1974.
Internet pic of a mountable 8-track player; similar to the one Bob had installed in his truck.

Then my sister ramona, and 3 of her friends from Texas, came to stay with us for a month … AND STOLE EVERY TAPE when they left!

Strawberry Alarm Clock: Incense & Peppermint (1967): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4rw1_FNdy-Y

Strawberry Alarm Clock: The world is on fire (1967): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbMxAfHNcjc

Strawberry Alarm Clock: Tomorrow (1968): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5mwbvTtnfk

Strawberry Alarm Clock: Strawberries mean love: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-4IK01xKc8

Strawberry Alarm Clock: Good morning starshine (1969): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yVDL7aay2A8

Strawberry Alarm Clock: Unwind the clock: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSJvJgJTjPY

Strawberry Alarm Clock: Sitting on a star:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxo_oTkBwJw

Friday, September 4, 2020

WORRIES: BANISHED ~ Shabbat Shalom


2020 is almost gone.

There are only 118 days left – 12 more days than Bob had to live out in 2018.


A LOT has changed in my life these 20 months/21 days/11 hours and 48 seconds.

I wasn’t planning on it, but I just spent 65 days (2 full months & 3 days) truly being myself. 
I didn’t care about pleasing anyone.
Not even one.
I did whatever I wanted to do … whenever and wherever.
I said whatever was on my mind.
I was myself 100%.

Full on.
100%
It has been a loooooong time since I’ve been this in touch with myself. It feels good!
No more unwarranted and burdensome guilt thrust on my shoulders from either kid (Bob’s son, or our daughter); no more worries about what anyone may be thinking about me (mother-in-law or spoiled rotten brother-in-law).
Now that Bob is no longer here, I really don’t care anymore: I only ever cared for Bob’s sake: to keep our over-crowded canoe filled with judgmental, self-important people from tipping over.

And now that Bob is no longer here, they vacated the canoe and have taken a hike with their noses in the air.
After they all left, I realized that it took a lot out of me.
I went from suffocating to breathing easy.
I went from slouching to standing tall.

My feet no longer dragged; they danced.

I went from wearing a hangdog look to smiling broadly – I even heard myself laugh.

The exhilaration of being myself is actually making me giddy.

Oh, my Lord!
I had been living for 45¾ years with the shades on the windows of my life pulled down in hopes of cutting down on stressors – better to ignore the glaring slights.

When our daughter kicked me out of her life and slammed the door for good – 65 days ago … I threw all those room darkening shades up and let life-giving sunshine flood my soul.

Can you guess what the sunshine did?
It flooded the corners of my life and banished all those meaningless worries 😊

Since July 1st, I’ve been too busy expressing myself to worry about how my expressions were landing on others.

I forgot to judge myself through someone else’s view of me.

I ignored the barbs of the kids’ {truths} to started living actual truths based in reality.
I spent my days living in freedom.

I could open my mouth without being told, “You do NOT get to speak!”
My dancing feet flew from one open window to the next.
They even eagerly crossed open-door-thresholds.
I embraced life in blooming color.
I felt alive: gloriously tired, but alive.
I reviewed my life in retrospect.
From December 14th, 2018 to July 1st, 2020, I had been trying to hang onto a life that eliminated me decades ago.

I’ve never been afraid to be alone; but I held out hope of some semblance of a relationship with our daughter – now it’s time to let go: she let go a long time ago.
Since May of 1975 I have struggled to stay afloat in a life where only Bob made room for me.
Because we loved each other and family was important to Bob, I learned to mute my voice towards the overbearing mother-in-law who was very vocal about the dislike for me; and bitter brother-in-law who went out of his way to alienate Bob from his father.
I went the extra mile for the stepson who couldn’t care less if I was dead or alive.
I pretended the poisoned darts shot at me by our daughter didn’t sting.
I slowly and deliberately, over the 44 years of our marriage, drew the shades down over the windows of my life – shutting the hostilities out.

I sucked a LOT UP.
For Bob’s sake.
Family was important to Bob – and Bob was important to me.
And in all fairness, Bob DID place me first in his life; and DID tell his mother, brother, son, and daughter to respect me as his wife, and Stacey’s mother: but he could not control them.
Now, Bob is no longer here.
And I no longer matter to the aforementioned people.
I’m not even a whisper of a ghost in their thoughts.
It’s so easy to move forward.
Opening as many windows as possible.
Leaping over as many thresholds as possible.
And anyone who is still looking for the half person I used to be … is not for me in my ‘becoming’ metamorphosis.

I am willing to shed dead-end relationships.
I’m back to walking away without a backward glance.
I can – and do – walk away from people who don’t want me in their life.
I don’t share my ‘becoming’ of myself with anyone who doesn’t deserve me.

I don’t waste my time anymore.
Time is suddenly too precious to waste.
Like before Bob was in my life, I now pull back immediately if I feel anyone disapproves of me as a whole.
I believe in second chances, but I will no longer give 16,060 chances.
I can’t risk having to pull shades on the windows of my life again.

I can’t risk hesitation on crossing thresholds again. 
I intend to honor my husband by living my life fully: in living color, unapologetic, and in the fullest version I can … for as long as Elohim grants me life.

I still don’t know where my life is headed; or what Elohim has planned for me.
But I do know that things will never go back to how they were.
I’m living in freedom now.
And I LIKE that.
Worries banished 😉

L’Chiam! To life!