When I became a widow in the
winter of 2018, and started documenting my New Life Journey on my Blog – I realized
that women of all ages were contacting me, and following my FB Page because
what I had to say was inspiring to them. I began to see how things I had survived,
and things I was struggling with (before, during, and after Bob) was
helpful to strangers who were going through similar things in their own lives.
While there are bad situations
you experience throughout the course of your life – and your life, currently,
may not be working out the way you want it to; you can make a change. Even if
it’s scary. There is no need to accept an unhappy life. You can mentally … and
actively … make a Plan to live a happier Life.
18 months into my new life, I determinedly
downsized personal belonging (Bob’s, mine, and ours), waved bye-bye to a
life that no longer existed (except for memories); and started a New Life
hustle in my now hometown of Longview, Washington – in my mid-60’s.
And you can too 😊
It’s all about attitude, not age.
You do not have to
fade into the woodwork once you turn 65, retire, or become a widow. You can still cultivate and enjoy a vital,
vibrant, fulfilling life.
You only get one lifetime to
experience life on this planet Earth: make it worth leaving your mark in living
your Life Journey. Own your life. Stay focused. Keep resolute. Be your own
judge (be kind to yourself, but also be realistic). Constantly reassess your
outlook, your goals, motives, and behavior.
In the beginning of my new life’s
journey, I didn’t do much of anything. I was in shell-shock-limbo. When I did
finally start re-engaging in life – solo lobo – it took me two full
years to learn how to enjoy it. It had been decades since I could indulge in
being fully myself: it was strange to be in a place in my life where there was
only me to consider (I’d been married to the love of my life since I was
seventeen; motherhood and grandparenthood followed in those 44 years).
I began to enjoy hitting the road whenever, and wherever I felt like heading the car’s nose. I cook/eat
foods my taste buds had been craving; and while out and about, I ate at
restaurants along the road route that looked interesting (I also gained
weight – there are pros and cons to that). I started wearing clothes again
that appealed to me (I prefer shopping Thrift Stores, flea markets, estate
sales, and yard sales for boho style bits and pieces that make up a whole; Bob
never understood why I wanted to spend “good money on all that junk”). I
fell back on a shorter hair style that I like (Bob liked my hair long, and I
do too, but I really prefer the Shag style 😉). I
started playing around with makeup again – not crazily, but just for the fun of
experimenting with it again. I walk every day – sometimes a short 2-mile loop
walk, sometimes a lengthier 4-mile loop hike.
And I embrace getting older;
most women feel anxious about aging … too many even attempt to hide their age as
they feel the years creeping up on them. What’s the point? Their bodies will
continue to age – whether they consent to it, or not.
I
admit I could stand to kick some excess poundage to the curb – and I’m working
on that by curbing what I eat/when I eat it/how I prepare my
meals; walking every day; muscle-toning exercises; and body strengthening weight
workouts. I’ll continue all of this as long as I physically am able to do so. I’m
not unhappy with my body, but I need it to be in tip-top shape to carry
me through the ensuing forward years 😉
Walking past the floor length
mirror this morning, I nodded to the reflection staring boldly back at me; and
thought that at 65, that reflection wasn’t anything to be ashamed of. My body
has been good to me – it enjoyed pleasure, and gave pleasure to a loving man;
it carried a baby to full term, and it cuddled and comforted a daughter and
four grandchildren. It continues to support my walking habit, and it’s relatively
healthy (aside from the asthma, and heart arrythmia). It’s hour-glass
curviness is a bit more ample than it used to be … but it still appeals. My
skin (face, arms, legs, hands, feet, and breast area that shows) is
freckled, and I’m okay with that; I enjoy being outside on nature trails, or dinking
around in my garden areas: my skin really is holding up well for its 65 years.
I decided a loooong time ago (1974; I was 17 at the time of this decision) to gray naturally – and so far, the gray is coming
in complementarily.
I can honestly say that aging is
being good to me. People (mostly men) are surprised that I do not dye my
hair – aging has been kind in allowing me to retain my natural hair color
throughout most of my hair at this late stage of life. It looks great. Again,
I hear mostly from men, “How old are you? You look great for your age!”
I am not offended. I know I look good for my age. And I am not trying to
hide my age. I feel privileged to have reached this age, and I’m actually excited
by the unfolding blessing of being able to be living this new era of my life.
I’m having fun 😊
And I’m not spending too much
time worrying about my plain face, or my abundant curves. It is what it is, and
I do the best with what I have. God designed this body specifically for ME, and
I am okay with it.
I like wearing the clothes I
have found on my 2-states hop, out and about: some are just everyday wear …
some are really too fancy for Longview, so I wear those when I go further
afield on my Daytrip ventures, or to Fellowship in bigger metropolises.
Makeup, for me, makes a huge
difference. And I’ve taken to wearing it most every day this past year. My face
is pretty plain. I’m fair-skinned with sparse eyebrows, and very short
skimpy eyelashes. My face also has a short sharp chin, and a thin-lipped mouth – only Bob
every saw me as beautiful; with or without makeup, he loved me. Bless him.
That said … makeup transforms my
appearance; and I enjoy playing with it. Sometimes, my eyes are very colorful
with makeup application – other times, like today, the makeup is low-key.
I was meeting friends this
afternoon; so, I just wore jeans, and a sweatshirt. I did wear fancy footwear,
and I fooled around with the curling irons – but I didn’t spend a whole lot of
time on my face.
I don’t wear foundation: I
apply my makeup to a bare face because I have sensitive skin – I always
have had to be careful when applying anything to my skin: I was even
allergic to my husband’s skin next to mine, until my skin acclimated to his;
we laughed about that, but it was a serious issue, and I had to see a dermatologist
for a while.
While my face will tolerate
makeup on it for a brief period of time, I keep makeup as minimal as possible
to keep irritations as low as possible.
My 'now' morning routine; 55 minutes from A to Z – includes fingernail polish.
My sensitive eyes were red-rimmed this morning (due to last night’s makeup remover), so I chose a pink based eyeshadow combo.
I used Soft Brown sculpting brow gel; it wouldn't clash with the eyeshadow.
A light hand with black mascara ...
And a rose-tinted Cheek Heat liquid cream blush - I have high cheek bones, so I apply blush in a 'wedge' shape.
The gray is coming in ... but I've not lost all of my original hair color yet. The 2 shades blend very nicely.
I have a long face with a short chin, so I wear a Shag haircut, and use curling irons to add height & softness around the face. I have crooked teeth due to a very small mouth; a 65-yo body, & I wear glasses. I'm okay with ALL of ME.
A light coat of glittery fingernail polish & ‘Hard As Nails’ topcoat - and I'm out the door.
Stepping out in my cheetah boots.
I always remove my makeup as
soon as I get back home. Over-using makeup – and leaving it on your face for
extended periods of time, will prematurely age your face. I’m 65 … I don’t need
premature help in the aging process 😉
Remove makeup as soon as possible - do not wear it all day long.
Then I repaired my brow and lash
brush …
Repair work on brow brush-lash comb tool; good as new ... for a few more weeks.
And I did some workout time, to
tone and shape my curvy curves. I enjoy workouts, I always have.
It’s all about attitude, not aging 😊
