THE MAN IN MY LIFE

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY to my husband 🥰 in Heaven.

1981 - Bob and his children, Alex & Stacey: Bob was 32 years old and starting life all over again. Alex was 11 yo; Stacey was 6: Bob had lost his short-term memory (and speech abilities for a while) & that was hard on the kids ... thankfully the LOVE between Bob & I never fell by the wayside.

1981 - Bob has been dead for 25 minutes before Elohim restored his life back to him ... and to me. THANK YOU, FATHER GOD!

Doctors - "specialists", told me to "find a good Nursing Home, Mrs. Hargand - your husband will be in a vegetative state for the rest of his life: he was dead 25 minutes with no oxygen to his brain. He will never regain cognitive abilities."

THEY WERE WRONG. It took time - days, weeks, months, years ... but Bob was able to fully live a 'cognitive' life with me and our children: and he got to see 4 grandchildren welcomed into our small intimate family. His DNA will go forward if the grandkids have kids.

Bob is no longer living on this earth - but his love lives on: in my heart, and in the bloodstream of his offspring.

Love lives.

1984. Bob, me, Stacey. 

1997. Bob, me, and our 18 month old granddaugter, Alyna.

In November of 1995, the child doctors had told our daughter she'd never "conceive naturally" WAS BORN: again, DOCTORS WERE WRONG.

Alyna is our pride ... pride may be a sin, but I think Elohim understands how happy we are that He blessed us..

2014. Bob & our grandson, Azariah. Bob always looked good with a baby in his arms, and a child on his lap. I wish now that I would have had those 6 kids he wanted ...

There are 18 years between Alyna and Azariah. Azariah caught us ALL off-guard ;-)

Stacey felt lucky to have had Alyna ... she had had ovarian surgery years before Azariah came to our family, and AGAIN was told, "pregnancy will never happen."

ELOHIM HAD OTHER PLANS for our lives in 2014 :-D

When everyone recovered from the shock of an "impossible" pregnancy, we were ELATED. A BOY! There had not been a boy in our immediate family since Alex's birth in 1970. We were overjoyed.

Stacey is our love child; Alyna is our pride - Azariah is our joy.

Bob fathered 2 children in 2 marriages - Alex, his first marriage & Stacey, our marriage. 

1976. I was 19 years old; Stacey was 1 year old.

Bob was grandfather to 4: Alex's 2 daughters - Krisa & Brianna; and Stacey's children - Alyna, and Azariah.

Krisa, Alyna, and Azariah all have Bob's Asian eyes.

I visited Eden Valley Cemetery on Father’s Day.

I talked to Bob about changes happening in my life ... other widowing people would understand this is a natural & totally normal occurrence.

? is a widower too

Bob is not dead to me; the love is still real between here & there ...

I prayed for a companion - someone on Earth to walk with; someone on Earth to talk with; someone to give me a male's perspective on things & stuff.

Everyone is watching to see what develops, but I have let everyone know that I am not interested in dating – I am not interested in sex: I am not the “new meat on the market”; I’m not interested in being “on the market”. I am unavailable for dating.

It’s different being solo again – it’s been a long time since I’ve been solo: I was married to Bob for 44 years … and even when I was single, Bob was always in my life; we hadn’t actually met before that March happenstance in 1974, and he didn’t know who I was – but I knew he was always there, in the recesses of my thoughts and in the deepest part of my heart. I loved him since the moment I laid eyes on him 7 years before we actually met. I never hoped to see him again after he graduated; but I wasn’t actively looking for anybody else either. I did have a pretty steady on-again/off-again boyfriend, and we had an understanding … but we never quite got to the ‘I love you’ stage of the relationship.

Bob was the only person I ever said “I love you” to.

And he’s the only one that I ever want to say “I love you” to.

I don’t feel those feelings towards anybody else.

I don’t mind being friends with someone, or having a companion to do things with and go places with … but I’m not interested in taking it to the next level.

Bob always was, and still is my passion. I was a love junkie with Bob – I couldn’t get enough of him; and I wanted more, and more, and more. There was never enough. And he was happy to give … he was a real good supplier ;-) And when Bob was no more, there were times I literally felt I like I would die from the withdrawl pain: my whole body would go into shock. I don’t know if other people ever feel that way (maybe they do and just don’t talk about it), but the first year was really, really hard. This year hasn’t been a cake walk either, but I’m learning to ride it out. And, of course there are still days I want my fix. But my supplier is no longer available …

I love you, Babe: Always ~ OX.

You were a good man - a loving and faithful husband - a good father - and a good grandfather.

And you were a good son to Elohim - that's why you are now Home, enjoying our Father's presence; enjoy your day with your Father, above the clouds **kisses**