WHEN ~ April 15th, 1974

46 years ago, when Bob & I first met face to face, it was on Main Street in Catlamet. I was passing by Kerstetter’s Grocery Store, and a mutual friend saw me, and was quickly hustling Bob out of the Arcade – directly across from Kerstetter’s – and running him across the street to introduce us to each other, saying to each of us, “You should get to know each other – you’ll like each other.”

I wasn’t interested. I was already dating someone else. I gave Bob a cursory glance; and moved on. Out of sight: out of mind. I can’t speak for Bob, but that’s how it was for me.

The next time Bob & I met face to face, it was at his house. In Cathlamet. It was a fluke meeting … and we were both caught off guard. I was at a house party (in Bob’s house, where Doug rented a room) with Doug – my steady fella since the 6^th Grade. We had an understanding, if not an official engagement. Everyone KNEW we were going to make it final one day. Bob had been visiting his son in Portland, OR (he and Gloria had been separated since November 1973); he walked through the door, I carded him, we laughed: it was love in the making. We started talking and spent the remainder of the evening together, comfortably learning more about each other until my midnight curfew. Bob walked me home, and kissed me tenderly.

Bob was always gentle with me.

I told him I didn’t date married men. I didn’t want to hear from him again as long as he was legally married. He knew I meant it.

I walked into my parent’s house and put that night out of my mind. I was 17, but I wasn’t stupid. I knew that married people talked about divorce – and sometimes it happened, but most often it didn’t. Bob was 24 and had a 4 year old son. Married people usually tried to work things out when a child was involved. Bob was legally married even though his wife was openly living with another man since their November 1973 separation.

I loved Bob – I had loved him when I first saw his face in 1967 … 7 years earlier when I was a love-struck 10 year old, pathetically waiting for him to walk past me at the corner of the school building: he never even noticed me. He noticed me at his house, though, in 1974. I loved Bob: I had always loved Bob, and I knew then that I would always love Bob. BUT, I was not interested in becoming a corner to a love triangle.

I put Bob out of my thoughts: out of sight, and out of mind.

Married people talked about divorce.

I wasn’t going to get caught up in that.

When I heard from Bob again, it was tonight – 46 years ago. A Monday. He called my parent’s house around suppertime, after he got home from work. I don’t know how he got my phone number, but I thankful he did :-D

But, I have to admit, when I picked up the receiver and heard his voice, I did not know who was calling. Even when he said his name … I didn’t know (out of sight; out of mind); until he said, “Gloria filed divorce papers April 1^st; I’d really like to see you Friday night if you’d like to do something together.” THEN I KNEW!

And ((((YES!)))) I would like very much to see him Friday night :-D

Bob was the love of my life.

A face without a Name.

 

Now the face had a name.

And the face with a name wanted to spend time with me.

I was on Cloud 9 :-D

But I was also stepping out cautiously.

Married people talked about divorce: sometimes it happened, but most often they made up and stayed married.

Bob had told me that though he’d been married for 6 years, he and Gloria had only really been {married-married} for a ‘maybe a year’: she was always leaving him and running home to her mother. They had gotten married very young: Bob was 19 and Gloria was 16. They were basically children playing house, and Gloria got bored with being a housewife quite a lot - they both hurt each other; spiteful things people do when they are miserable. There was a lot of hurt with plenty of blame going both ways. This separation though, she was openly living with Dale – her soon to be 2^nd husband. And she had filed the papers.

I was stepping out Friday night cautiously.

Hoping my comfortable Cloud 9 didn’t dissipate.

I was 17.

Bob was 24.