HOME ALONE

It’s Friday night, and I’m home alone.

 

I’m alone … yet, not.

It’s me, Yeshua, and thoughts of Bob.

And I’m okay with that.

Since we stopped bar hopping 4 decades ago and started walking the straight and narrow, Friday nights have consistently been quiet nights. In fact, the entire weekend has been pretty laid back, concluding with a leisurely Sunday drive in the country – any county, either side of the River was fine with me: and Bob knew every backroad like the back of his hand (I rely on road maps and GPS). I miss that comfortable routine I enjoyed with my husband.

So – that’s how I’ve decided to kick off ‘My New Life’: kicking back around dusk to usher the Shabbat Rest in; relaxing the pace of life, and surrounding myself with peaceful vibes.

Come Sunday, hitting a backroad for a Sunday~Funday Daytrip, and letting myself unwind completely before facing another manic Monday leading to another hectic week. 1 thing I a going to fit into the Sunday~Funday adventure … at least once a month … is a sit-down restaurant meal: in a locale that is not local; does not have to be fancy, just a different location. Bob & I often did that – and I need to be comfortable doing things like this on my own. Solo. It is not my friends’ responsibility to entertain me; they have been great about including me in their lives, and I appreciate the love; but ultimately, I have to try my wings like every other fledgling: alone.

And, I’ve started a 2020 Bucket List: I don’t know if this will be my last year on Earth, or not (only Elohim knows that); but there are challenges I’d like to accomplish, things I’d like to do, and places I’d like to visit – hence the 2020 Bucket List. For the time being, the notations are fairly simple and basic … but the thought process that is generated sparks the brain cells, which activates the memory bank, prompting the motivation that physically activates me; and that’s a good thing ;-)

Next year’s list may be more detailed and more adventurous, but for starters, 2020’s simplistic activities outline, will do very well.

I'm working real hard to have more on my List than this ...

There’s more to senior life that watching time pass …

I’ve begun an “every-other-day” exercise regime … geriatric, because I am 63 now, and I don’t want to throw my back out or pull a muscle: I’m home alone now. I have to take care of myself: and be careful about it. Wisdom is the principal theme in every endeavor I embark on now. The Senior Centers have scheduled exercises too, but I’ve never been very coordinated (necessary for group exercises that involve ‘1-2-3’ animated steps) and yoga doesn’t interest me. Curiosity may propel me to go see if they have stretching activities – those I can do without stumbling through a disjointed 1-2-3 animated process. It will also prompt me to get out of the house more often. Some widows have suggested I join them for Senior Center dances, but I couldn’t do that: I don’t want to dance with anyone but my husband. I may, come Spring, go just to watch from the sidelines, but I really do not feel like being cajoled into doing something I am not comfortable doing, so ‘we’ll see’.

I don’t want to fill in every day of the calendar, just maybe 1 or 2 days a week – if even that. I am comfortable being a solo lobo: I need periods of solitude, at home. Alone. But, I do know, that in order to reestablish/rebuild a new life – I have to HAVE A LIFE to look forward to enjoying.

And people in my life are going to have to work around the proposed Bucket List notations.

2020 is going to be about doing what is BEST FOR ME.

And I don’t care if that is selfish or not …