Friday I met with Bob’s sister, Merry, to brainstorm
some ideas for Bob’s Celebration of Life service: this is literally my 2nd
funeral – I usually don’t even go when there is a funeral. I just can’t: I want
to remember them the way they WERE and skip the way they went out. My FIL’s
funeral 6-1/2 years ago, was the 1st one I ever attended with my
husband and I was a mess before the day was out! I love my FIL; he was a good
man: Bob was a lot like his father – kind, gentle, generous to a fault, loved
his family, was devoted to his wife, a good provider, easy-going, always ready
to lend a helping hand … a GOOD person to know. I am not implying
that either were saints, BUT they came pretty close to sainthood as far as I am
concerned ;-)
And I can’t skip Bob’s Celebration of Life
gathering; ((((I)))), more than anyone
else, needs to BE present.
Anyway.
Merry and I tossed thoughts back and forth
and came up with a workable, informal, inclusive type of gathering. Rosburg
Hall is booked – foods will be provided by the Hall (they have people on call that will provide a buffet of foods), and
attendees that have food allergies can bring their own dishes and drop them at
the Hall before proceeding to Eden Valley Cemetery to our familial plot which
will have been prepared ahead of time – I will be at the cemetery way ahead of
everyone because I want to be there while it is being prepared to have my final
moments alone with Bob before his cremains are placed. Then the rest of the
family/friends will arrive and gather to pay their respects, share Scriptures
that speak to the moment if they so choose, and of course a sharing of personal
memories with Bob as the focus. At the close of that gathering, there will be backtracking
to the Hall to eat, catch-up chit-chat, and sharing of more memories.
Before I left Merry’s, I laughed and said, “You
all thought it was pretty funny one time when Bob and I were visiting, and I
said “‘I thought Bob looked like a golden
god’ when we were dating” – but it is true: he was eye candy; but awesomeness
with substance.” And Merry laughed and said, “Well Val, you were right though –
Bob was a good-looking man!”
And he really was.
Bob’s Graduation Class picture: he is 3rd from the right, upper corner. He filled that suit out real fine ;-)
He was tall and physically fit – not muscle
bound to the point of ridiculousness like some men think they need to be: Bob
was always comfortable in his own skin; he didn’t feel the need to preen and
strut his stuff. But people sat up and noticed him whenever he showed up
because he was {all that} and more.
When he spent time in the sun … and he did, constantly … he tanned beautifully
to a chestnut brown skin color with a golden sheen, his hair took on golden sun-kissed
streaks throughout it, and his gorgeous hazel eyes even had gold flecks in them
that swam and pulsed around his iris’. And that sexy smile of his was pure gold. He was
“golden”. His physique rivaled any of the paintings of ancient ‘gods’. And he was magnificent
to look at when he was actively engaged in water skiing, golfing, working
around the house, ect.: his form was excellent and his motions fluid. Not only
was he handsome, he was beauty in action.
Bob’s football picture – number 27. He wisely kept this from me because he knew how much I loathe football: I do not like it at all! It is a blood sport and kids die on the field. I never gawked at the school jocks. I never went to football games. I did not watch them on TV with family; and I do not want to hear them in the background at holiday gatherings. I truly did NOT KNOW when I married him in 1974 that I was saying “I do/I will” to the LOCAL FOOTBALL STAR! He was very wise to keep THAT INFO close to his chest until the ring was on my finger.
He was altogether attractive. And I never tired
of looking ;-)
In May sometime, I will be making a trip to
Eden Valley Cemetery alone to time the drive, jot down directions – including landmarks,
and just enjoy a day of “going home”. I have always considered that far end of
Wahkiakum County “home” … looooong before
I even met Bob face to face and learned his name, I spent every weekend in Graysriver:
I walked there from Skamokawa and Cathlamet and it was an all-day-walkabout – I
liked walking, and I had a nice set of legs because of it. LOL.
I did not know until after we were married
that Bob’s mother’s family were early Washington pioneering families that had settled in and owned quite a bit of property in the
Rosburg area, making the valley their final home. When I married Bob August 27th,1974, the valley really
became my “home” too in a real sense:
Us on our Wedding day 1974
We actually looked at houses for sale there
before buying here 20 months ago, but the asking prices were flat out ridiculous
given what was being offered. But at any rate Bob's cremains will be going "home" in August.
And I want to make sure everyone can get there without any snafus. Immediate family
members and friends who have family themselves in Graysriver/Naselle area, know
exactly where to go and how to get there; but children and grandchildren who left
the area decades ago and rarely ever go any further than Longview if/when they
come to visit, won’t remember how to get there – some grandchildren have NEVER BEEN past Rosburg Hall when Family
Reunions were held there years ago, before Bob Sr. passed from this life to the
next.
So it is necessary I make the solo drive next
month to time the drive, and get the required information - I already know it, but I need to accurately jot it down for others who do not. It will be a difficult drive this time around
because Bob won’t be with me … and the next time I make the drive, I will be
ferrying his cremains to their final resting place.
Familial Eden Valley Cemetery established 1885 -http://edenvalleycemetery.weebly.com/
I had thought that I would ride to Eden
Valley cemetery with the kids come August 30th, but thinking
on it the other day I think it best that I take our car and drive solo even if I
will be an emotional wreck: (1) I will be going directly to the cemetery waaay
ahead of everyone else (2) It will be a highly charged emotional day – I may
need to occasionally pull over into more than one of the several turnouts along
the way before actually arriving in Eden Valley (3) the kids' car will already
be pretty full – Alex with his 2 girls – 1 coming in from the east
coast, probably with her fella; Alyna will be coming with her fiancé, Liam. I
really need to take our car. And I pray I don’t jar the car in any way that
will damage his headstone …
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