BLUEBERRY PICKING TIME IN OREGON

This morning, I went blueberry picking with Cheryl & Mike – we had been talking about it for a few months; Cheryl called yesterday afternoon, but I was making homemade pizzas, so I couldn’t do it yesterday (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/08/homemade-traditional-pepperoni-pizza.html): but this morning was a good time.

And we had a good time ;-)

They had told me the bushes were huge … and that there were tunnels through them, BUT I WAS UNPREPARED for what I saw when we arrived – the “bushes” were giant TREES:

Poysky Farm in Clatskanie, Oregon.

WOW! These bushes are TREES! Cheryl is a fairly tall woman, and you can see how the “bushes” dwarf her …

And those trees were LOADED with berries – I have never seen anything like this!

Blueberry trees loaded with fat, juicy berries.

As we walked to the outer limits of the berry patch, where they always go to pick when they come to the Farm; the tunneling burrows were clear to see. The burrowing tunnels are actually the original pathways plotted 50 years ago, that the towering bushes arch over, and intertwine through the patch:

Dark, sun-deprived tunnels stood out among the towering berry trees. The “bushes” had outgrown the bush description decades ago.

Pathways intertwined among the overgrowth.

Mike joked that because I am so short, it would be easy for me to fit under the arching limbs to pick berries – whereas he and Cheryl are taller than I am, and would feel the squeeze of the spreading limbs while they picked: and it was true. LOL

Even so, at 5’2”, it was a stretch for me to pick overhead berries too far up (that’s how TALL these “bushes” are: they literally towered overhead) – and I was occasionally run out of the burrowing tunnels by territorial wasps: so, I left that area, and moved on down the line. Being stung would lead to certain death, so I didn’t fight them for the berries – there were PLENTY more elsewhere …

To me, the berry clusters resemble grape clusters, in their fullness of berries.

Most of the berries were HUGE. And tasty, too.

I had my container filled quickly – I gathered 9 pounds of berries; so I helped them fill their containers, too:

Cheryl & Mike picking along the outer edge of the berry patch.

When we got back to our own State, and they dropped me off at home, I drove to Industrial Way to have my car washed at the curbside car wash I noticed going on at Les Schwab’s Tire Center, when we passed it ….

My car was SO filthy with road grime & gravel road dust, that it was ridiculous: now it shines ;-)

Then, I came back home; washed my berries and divided them among 3 large Gallon sized freezer baggies before popping them in the freezer. Those little tidbits of Summer goodness, are gonna be mighty welcome – and tasty – in muffins and cobblers this Winter ;-)

And I am thankful for good and faithful friends; I am blessed to have Cheryl & Mike in my life. Cheryl was my SIL for 12 years before Bob’s brother Ralph went off the rails; and she divorced him – later, marrying Mike. We always loved Cheryl, and felt she got a raw deal from {the family} who rallied around Ralph, who should have been kicked to the curb for what he did to her. Bob came to like Mike; and we often spent time together: we had actually been to their home to visit with them, just weeks before Bob went into ER in August 2018. When Mike & Cheryl found out about that, they immediately came alongside us during those difficult and hard months … and they never left me alone since … even though I had requested to be left alone following his physical death - it was unbearable for me to be around living people - listening to their prattle; and having to host them in some regard: but, they knew I would eventually need them.

And I did.

And to be honest; Bob's sister, Bonnie, immediately stepped in to help me pull Bob's funeral arrangements together. And his sister, Merry - and his brother Kerry, DID help me in those first months of severe grieving. BUT, I always felt like they were awkward around me. And they NEVER, at any time in 44 years, initiated reaching out: if I didn't contact them ... I did not hear from them. Even now. They never call to see how I am doing, or ask if I need help with anything. They never unconditionally loved me before Bob left for heaven - and they don't unconditionally love me now.

Bob's family never thought of me: they don't think of me now. After August, I will be persona non grata, as far as they are concerned.

Cheryl called every day - and most of those calls was her just letting me know she was there for me: even if all I did during those calls, was cry. Endlessly.

Mike helped in doing ... and helping me to understand ... what needed to be done when "man stuff" {need to know} went right over my head.

I was pretty needy for months.

And they stuck.

And they still call - and INCLUDE ME IN THEIR LIFE.

They are STILL sticking.

Elohim IS good :-D

Not only did he give me friends – He gave me BEST FRIENDS. I am blessed beyond measure.

I pray I am worthy of such friendship; and that I can be/am such a friend to them.

HOMEMADE TRADITIONAL PEPPERONI PIZZA Recipe

Homemade Pepperoni pizzas put together & ready to be prepped for the freezer.

I don’t eat a lot of pizza … pizza was always Bob’s thing – I just went along with it. LOL

But, when I do get an urge to bite into pizza, this is the recipe I dig for ;-)

This pizza recipe comes from my November 1984 ‘Cuisine’ cooking magazine – it is my all-time favorite pizza recipe.

Bob loved my homemade pizzas :-D

And I have been hungering for it myself … so, I decided to spend all day in the kitchen today making homemade Pepperoni Pizzas to freeze:

Pepperoni Pizzas packaged, labeled, and headed for the freezer for future meals.

This recipe makes dough and sauce for one 12-inch regular pizza.

I am a lazy cook, so I added everything I wanted on my pizza (chopped green peppers & chopped mushrooms) – except the pepperoni and cheeses – to the sauce; it works best this way, for me ;-)

Since there is only one of me – and I am determined to scale back on how much my petite frame can comfortably and reasonably carry – I divided the dough into 4 pieces, for 4 individual pizzas. While I lose weight, I STILL LIKE TO EAT more than puffed rice crackers ;-)

HOMEMADE TRADITIONAL PEPPERONI PIZZA

==DOUGH: 1 teaspoon active dry Yeast * 2/3 cup warm Water (105 to 115-degrees) * 2 Tablespoons Olive Oil * ¾ teaspoon coarse Salt * 1-1/2 to 1-3/4 cups Flour * Vegetable Oil for bowl * Flour for dusting hands

Dissolve the yeast in the water, in a medium bowl; let stand 5 minutes.

Stir oil, salt, and 1-1/2 cups of the flour into the yeast mixture to form a rough dough. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface – and knead for about 4 minutes; adding flour if necessary, to make a soft, slightly sticky dough.

Lightly oil a large bowl & place dough in the bowl, turning to coat on all sides. Let rise, covered tightly in plastic wrap, in a warm, in a draft-free place until tripled in bulk – about 3 to 4 hours.

Punch dough down. Roll out on a lightly floured surface with a floured rolling pin to a 12-inch circle, or shape into circles in round foil pans as shown, as follows: lightly flour hands front and back, and place dough in pan – gently pulling dough into a circle front the center out to the edges of the pan. If dough is too sticky, lightly dust hands gain and continue shaping: do not allow center to become too thin.

==TOMATO SAUCE: 2 Tablespoons Olive Oil * 2/3 cups sliced Onion * 1 teaspoon minced garlic * 1/8 teaspoon (or to taste) crushed Red Pepper * Large pinch of Sugar * 1 can (28-ounces) Tomatoes, drained and chopped * ½ cup dry White Wine * 2 teaspoons Tomato Paste * 2 Tablespoons chopped fresh basil * ½ teaspoon coarse Salt

Heat oil in a medium saucepan over high heat until rippling. Add onion, garlic, red pepper, & sugar; sauté, stirring constantly – 30 seconds. Add tomatoes & wine; reduce heat to medium. Cook, covered, 7 to 8 minutes. Stir in tomato paste; cook uncovered, stirring occasionally, until thickened – about 25 minutes. Remove from heat; stir in basil and salt.

==PEPPERONI PIZZA: Basic Pizza Dough * Tomato sauce * 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil, plus additional for pan * Cornmeal for pan (optional) * 2 Tablespoons unsalted Butter * ½ teaspoon Garlic * 4 ounces fresh mushrooms, sliced (about 1-1/2 cups) * 1/3 cup thinly sliced Pepperoni * ¾ cup grated Mozzarella cheese * 4 Tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese * Coarse Salt * Fresh ground Black pepper * 1 tablespoon chopped fresh Parsley

Prepare Basic Pizza Dough as instructed; and set to rise.

Make Tomato Sauce:

Heat oven to 500-degrees. Oil a 12-inch pizza pan and sprinkle with cornmeal, if desired.

Melt butter in a heavy medium skillet over high heat – when foam subsides, add garlic; sauté, stirring constantly – 30 seconds. Transfer to a small bowl.

When dough has risen, complete the dough instructions.

Place dough in prepared pan; brush surface with 1 Tablespoon oil; spoon sauce evenly over the surface of the dough – leaving a 1-inch border. Arrange mushrooms and pepperoni over sauce. Sprinkle with cheeses, parsley, and salt & pepper to taste.

Bake until crust is golden brown – 15 to 18 minutes. Serve immediately.

**IF MAKING AHEAD IN ROUND FOIL PANS TO FREEZE – prepare foil pans while dough is rising:

Lining the round foil baking pans. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO DO THIS - I do it because I am frugal and will use the pans over and over again.

Stacked pans: lined & ready to fill.

Prepare dough as instructed above – divide into 4 portions …

Pizza dough divided into fourths.

… shape, and par-bake at 450-degrees, for 4 to 5 minutes: just until dough is puffed and surface appears dry:

Pizza dough rounds formed with a lip.

Pizza crusts par-baking.

Let crust cool to room temperature, then top with sauce, cheeses, and topping of choice …

Par-baked pizza crusts cooling.

Mozzarella & Parmesan cheeses blended.

Pepperoni pizzas put together & ready to be prepped for the freezer.

TO AVOID FREEZER BURN: double wrap the prepared pizzas – either 2 layers of plastic wrap … or 1 layer of plastic wrap, and 1 layer of foil. Lay pizzas flat in the freezer and store for up to 2 months:

Pepperoni Pizzas packaged, labeled, and headed for the freezer for future meals.

TO BAKE FROZEN PIZZAS: Preheat oven to 500-degrees. Place frozen pizza on a lined sheet pan or pizza stone, and bake until crust is golden, and cheese is melted – about 10 minutes.**

TO WHERE YOU ARE - FOREVER LOVE

Forever Love

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FK9SQi_TRI)

NO AIR IN THE ROOM

I had to pay bills today, so I turned over the calendar page … and INSTANTLY THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF THE ROOM.

I had to grab the table edge to keep from sliding to the floor.

My eyes had – of their own will – gone to the 2 days in August that always meant so much to me over the years we had sealed the deal with 2 golden wedding bands that hot August night so long ago.

I couldn’t breathe.

Tears stared running down my face like a dam had burst.

I couldn’t suck in enough air.

I got an acute stomach ache.

And I wanted to hurl.

Actually … I wanted to hunt Ron Cook down, and beat the shit out of him for ruining our lives.

Instead; all I could do was cry.

FISH WITH CUMIN-GARLIC BUTTER Recipe

Sorry the picture is not staged nicely ... but, I was hungry. I got a late start getting Dinner underway, and didn't feel like prepping for a fancy picture.

This fish meal is delish! I used tilapia; but trout, red snapper, halibut, or swordfish can be substituted.

The recipe comes from my old August 1985 Bon Appetit cooking magazine.

The meal is pretty simple to make too, despite all the fuss to pull it together.

FISH WITH CUMIN-GARLIC BUTTER ~ 4 servings

Cumin Garlic Butter: ¾ cup (1-1/2 sticks) unsalted Butter, room temperature * 1 Tablespoon minced Garlic * 2 teaspoons ground Cumin * 1-1/2 teaspoons Hungarian Sweet Paprika * 1 teaspoons fresh Lemon Juice * pinch Cayenne Pepper * Sea Salt & Black pepper to taste

FISH: 4 10- to 12-ounce fish, cleaned and trimmed * 2 Tablespoons Vegetable Oil * 2 Tablespoons fresh Lemon Juice * 2 teaspoons ground Cumin * 1 teaspoon minced Garlic * Sea salt & Black Pepper to taste

ZUCCHINI & POTATO GARNISH: 2 Tablespoons (1/4 stick) unsalted Butter * 2 Tablespoons Vegetable Oil * 1 pound boiling Potatoes, cooked until tender – peeled and cut into 3/8-inch slices * ½ pound Zucchini, cut into ¼-inch slices * Sea Salt & Black Pepper to taste

1.5 pound of potatoes = 1 medium potato

1.4 pound of zucchini = 3 small; I used green & yellow zucchini.

FOR BUTTER; Beat butter in medium bowl until smooth. Stir in garlic, cumin, paprika, lemon juice, and cayenne. Season with salt & pepper. Let stand 1 hour at room temperature (Can be prepared 1 day ahead and refrigerated. Bring to room temperature before serving).

Flavored Butter

FOR FISH; Arrange fish in shallow baking dish. Mix oil, lemon juice, cumin, garlic, salt & pepper: pour marinade over fish, (rubbing inside and out if using whole fish). Let stand 1 hour.

Fillets marinating

Preheat oven to 400-degrees. Spread 2 teaspoons of flavored butter inside each fish if using whole fish – (just spread on fish if using fillets). Bake fish I marinade until opaque; basting twice, for 12 minutes.

ZUCCHINI/POTATO GARNISH; Melt 1 Tablespoon butter with 1 Tablespoon oil in a heavy large skillet over medium heat. Add half the potato slices in a single layer – sprinkle with salt & pepper: cook 4 minutes, shaking pan occasionally. Turn potatoes over; sprinkle with salt and pepper & cook until golden brown – about 4 minutes more. Turn potatoes again; increase heat and cook 2 minutes. Remove with slotted spatula. Add remaining potatoes and repeat process.

In another skillet, melt remaining butter over medium heat. Add zucchini, sprinkle with salt & pepper; cook zucchini until just tender – about 2 minutes on each side.

Using a small, sharp knife, scrape skin off upper part of whole fish if using whole fish. Set fish on platter or plate, and arrange zucchini slices down one side of fish – and potato slices down the other side. Spread some of the flavored butter atop the fish. Pass remaining butter separately.

WHAT I MISS MOST IS THE INTIMACY

What I miss the most is the intimacy.

The pillow talk shared between my husband and myself.

The smoldering glances.

The touches in passing.

The quick kisses that promised slow, passionate love making later on.

Things you can't talk about with your kids; and it would be pretty weird IF you could talk about those things with your kids. MPO

Things that would be awkward to discuss with your in-laws.

Things other widows and widowers would understand; but still off-limits in discussions.

What I miss the most is the intimacy ... where SO MUCH WAS SAID; without even a word uttered.

DON'T GIVE AWAY CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE

This is so spot on.

And a real word of cautionary wisdom.

When December 14th, 2018 dawned and I found my life seriously altered from 'wife' to 'widow' ... I was initially grateful Bob's son stepped up to help me.

I remember thinking, "I wish Bob were here to see Alex behaving like a son
he could be proud of."

He was attentive.

He called to check up on me.

He drove up to help me do what needed to be attended to.

But THEN, in March, he started acting like his old self.

He reverted back to manipulating situations to benefit himself.

I started hearing things like, "I'm doing this because I may need to ask you a favor" (he was setting the stage to move me over, and move himself into my home - that way he could take charge and take over: he had tried to do that for 35 years); "better save that money - we may need it" (I mentioned the house needed to get painted this year: he was planning on quitting his job and having ME spend my meager SSA check on him!); ... and saying other things that were raising a red flag.

The familiar Alex was back with a vengeance - he thought that now his father was no longer in the picture, I was easy prey.

I'd been down that rocky road with him for decades.

And then he said what I knew he would eventually say to me: "This is my dad's house."

BOOM. He was making a stand, thinking that I was oblivious to his staged coup attempt.

But I was ready to meet him on the battlefield he set up.

He had thought I was so grief stricken he could manipulate the situation

It was sad.

It was infuriating.

It was arrogantly ignorant - as usual.

He was putting me on notice, and putting me in my place.

But, I had known it was coming.

Bob had known, before he graduated to a higher level of life, that it would come: it ALWAYS came.

And now, Bob was not here to defuse the situation.

So ... I defused the situation.

Alone - and with a bite he was not expecting; because before, I had Bob's feelings to consider: I loved Bob.

I still love Bob, but Bob is not here now.

And I do not have to be considerate anymore when dealing with his bullying son.

"No!" I said. "No, Alex; you cannot move in with me" (he was already telling me the changes that would have to come - I would become a stranger in my own house!); "No, Alex; you cannot take another thing home with you (he had already filled the back-end of his car with things from the shop, as well as the antique rifle from our bedroom closet) - you have a sister, and a niece and nephew to consider when it comes to dividing the spoils" (in his mind, EVERYTHING was his because he "is the son: the legal heir"); "No, Alex; ((((I)))) will make decisions concerning the things your father & I jointly owned during our marriage: you do NOT get a say one way or the other"; "No, Alex; you cannot take over."

I admit, my mind was foggy the first few months of widowhood.

But NOT to the extent of losing a grip on who was going to run MY life.

I have never, EVER given control of my life over to anyone else - not even to Bob: and I loved him.

I ALWAYS was in ... and AM IN ... CONTROL of MY life.

I hope you will retain control of your life too.