Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Monday, May 9, 2022

STANDING ON PROMISES~Mother’s Day 2022

 


I was just going to laze around this morning before heading into the countryside for Mother’s Day Supper with friends … but Elohim prodded me in another direction: Fellowship.

So, I went.

Enroute, I saw blue peeking through the gray overhead – that looked encouraging 😊

A bright spot of hope on the horizon ...

The message was good. The ambiance was good. Prayer over me was good.

More confirmation of what Elohim's been speaking to my heart.
I miss this ... and I was happy for the couple.

After fellowship, as I was sliding into the driver’s seat of my car, I got a message from my middle granddaughter: it made my day 😊

Four words that righted my Day!
This smile says, 'Feeling the Love' ...

I stopped at home before heading into the country; I needed to pick up my Supper contributions of dinner rolls and pie 😉 I also wanted to drop off the Mother’s Day Gift bag I had received earlier at Fellowship; the items received will be much used. The little flashlight went on my keychain … and I will be using the bandana while I am in the urban garden area, (Bob prepared for me in 2018) on my town lot.

Mother's Day Gifts - handy items.

Spending a Holiday day with friends, is something new for me; I get invited a lot, but usually beg off because holidays are hard for me as a solo lobo. But this year, I decided to give it a go – and I’m glad I did. It was an enjoyable 2-hour visit 😊

When I got back home fat and sassy 😉; I reflected on the blessings I am privileged to have enjoyed – and have every hope of continuing to enjoy.

Looking back in time to the time Elohim gifted me with a baby through my husband, I can now see the wisdom of how it came about. I was pretty adamant I would never have children (my choice for private reasons) – and I explained myself thoroughly to Bob before and after we got married.

But Elohim took matters into His own hands … and nine months later, Bob and I welcomed a baby girl into this world. I’d had nine months to get used to the idea, so when I held our daughter, I was prepared to be a good Mom (to 1 only – I wish now that I had had those other 5 children Bob wanted).

With this one child … our love child, I would do Bob proud. Bob had a vasectomy, at my insistence because the doctor would not tie my tubes due to my young age: there would be no more babies. I loved babies, but my decision was based on a lot of issues which were valid, at the time.

At 18 years of age and blissfully happy with husband and children (Bob had a 5-year-old son by a previous marriage), it never occurred to me that having babies was a privilege some women are denied. Everyone I knew – including myself – was very fertile (hence the afore mentioned vasectomy).

1975. Bob, Me, Stacey - 4 months old, & Alex.

It occurred to me sixteen years later when our daughter was told during a physical exam that she’d never have “a natural child” of her own. She was devastated. I was stunned. I paid the tally for the exam, walked home with my daughter … and prayed: then, I started on a Baby Layette for the grandchild I believed would come. God had never failed me yet. I trusted the Word of God more than I trusted the doctor’s diagnosis.

We already had a 6-month-old granddaughter – Bob’s son and his girlfriend had blessed us with a daughter born in February, and I consider her my first grandchild.

Krisa; born in 1991.

But I also wanted a grandchild that carried my DNA too.

For years I prayed. And continued to add knitted and crocheted items to the expanding Layette Of Hope. By the time our miracle was taking form, the layette had grown to 100 items lovingly made with Belief in each stitch.

I received the phone call at work: Stacey was pregnant! I cried with happiness when I told Bob later on at home. We were overjoyed when Alyna came into the world … and our lives. I was there at the delivery; and she actually turned her tiny head towards the sound of my voice, and smiled at me (I used to talk to Stacey’s baby bump) 😊

It is a moment I never get tired of replaying in my head when her birthday rolls around 😉

Our first Miracle Grandbaby, Alyna –1996; 18 months old.
Alyna all grown up, & her husband, LIAM; fairly recent picture.

Our third granddaughter Brianna: Alex’s second daughter, was born in 1998.

Brianna; born 1998.

Alex was done with having children at this point; and Stacey had had ovarian surgery – again a doctor was echoing that “there will be no pregnancies”. I was sad for our daughter, but the news was not unexpected.

Bob and I were pleased with our three beautiful granddaughters. We were feeling very blessed and I kept reminding myself that we were incredibly blessed to have Alyna in our lives because according to {science} she should not be.

But Elohim was having another laugh at the pompousness of medical opinion.

ALL of us were totally caught off guard when Stacey gave birth to a boy in the Summer of 2014 😉 We were over the moon when we got the news.

Our family was blessed with a grandson! The last boy born in Bob’s lineage had been born in 1970: it would be 44 years before Bob would hold another baby boy. Stacey named him Azariah: “God has helped”. The Name fit 😊

Azariah was so much Bob’s mini-me: he looked like Bob’s baby picture, and his personality is totally Bob. He lit up our golden years. We didn’t know then that Bob and Aza would only get to enjoy each other for four short years ☹

Those four short years were packed with precious memories I hope Azariah will never forget. I am no longer a part of his life (Stacey’s choice), so all he will have to remember Bob by, is his babyhood memories. I hope they come on strong when they visit our grandson’s heart.

Our second Miracle Grandbaby; Azariah; newborn, 2014.
Bob & Aza; August 2014.
Grandpa & grandson sharing guy talk.
Most recent picture I have of my grandson; 2019. I MISS him.

Our bonus grandson is Alyna’s husband Liam; who officially joined our family in December of 2019, when he married our granddaughter. He had come to our home five years earlier and officially asked for Alyna’s hand in marriage – that sealed the deal for Bob 😉 Bob really liked Liam, and I know Bob’s spirit was present at their wedding: and I carried a small vial of ash with me, symbolic of Bob being there in a physical way too, kinda-sorta.

Liam has been good for Alyna. And he also made room in their life, and their home for Alyna’s brother and mother: that is a huge plus, by anyone’s measure of a good husband.

Liam; 2019.

Right now, things are not good between them and me. It hasn’t been good between Stacey and me for three decades … and that’s on her. I no longer engage in the fighting – I have found more productive ways to spend my time, and keep my sanity without Bob by my side.

I’ve handed the situation over to Elohei, and she can duke it out with Him.

Georgia Mas Chior – ‘Jesus Is A Waymaker’ song.

As for me, I know I was greatly favored to be granted the privilege of holding the Title of Mother; and blessed beyond measure to be pinned with the Badge of Grandmother. It’s up to the Will of Elohim to add a ribbon blazoned with Great-Grandmother across it 😉

I know that eventually everything will work out in the end for the glory of Elohim.

Lucifer is a Liar – he always had been, and he always will be.

But, praise be to the Most High God … Yeshua balanced the scales at Calvary!

Elohim gave me a promise in 1975. He set it in motion in 1995. And He will bring it to fruition in His timing: I am standing on the promise. And Elohei has never let me down.

I just need to be still.

And that is something beautiful to think on when I lay down, rise up, and go about my Day 😊

Saturday, May 7, 2022

SHABBAT THOUGHTS

Still my thoughts about Shabbat 😊

A repost from last year’s Shabbat, on this day: (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2021/05/shabbat-night-at-home-yeshua-is-center.html)

FRIDAY SPARKLE

Today was going to be busy.

Today would sparkle all day long 😉

Duct cleaning was scheduled for 2 P.M. (the house would need to be sparkling clean before I turned on for the night); but before the dust got stirred up, I had time to drive out to Lexington 😊

I laughed when I caught sight of myself in the mirror: my gray jeggings and black leather, knee-high boots reminded me the pants and boots Paul Revere and The Raiders wore in their early career days (I told yu’all a few days back, that everything I do, think, and say relates in some way to a song) – of course, none of those high-stepping fellas resembled the chubby 65-year-old Solo Lobo looking back at me from the floor-length mirror.

And that memory of the Raiders in their skinny pants, jarred another memory of Bob. I liked Paul Revere and the Raiders’ music … and local bands would often play one or two of their songs before the evening ended; when we went out on the town. When Bob was feeling real good, he’d take his dance steps in the direction of Fang; and I’d be laughing so hard at Bob’s clowning, that dancing was momentarily forgotten 😉

My simple beaded necklace was admired; and I also wore non-metal bracelets; elasticized beads. I can't have metals on my skin - metal literally burns my skin like fire.
Brought memories to mind ...
Paul Revere & The Raiders – ‘Get It On’ song:
Sparkly makeup & glasses ...

I sparkled – and I was still laughing – when I walked out the door.

Having fun is fun!

I left the Lexington get-together early because I wanted to stop at the grocery store before the Power Vac guys arrived: I have been invited to spend Mother’s Day afternoon with friends: I accepted, this year 😊

And I want to contribute something to the meal.

While standing in line, waiting to be checked out, I saw an article headline that had me quietly laughing. I don’t think I have noticeable beauty – but I do know that I have noticeable swagger 😉 I’ve aways had a healthy sense of self. I am comfortable in my own skin.

And I’m not lost in a fog anymore. Lately, there is a definite swaggering pep to my step. LOL

My contribution to Sunday’s Mother’s Day Supper.
Implication: walk or behave in a very confident manner.

Just as I was sliding the holiday contributions into the ‘fridge, I got a text that the Power Vac fells were on their way.

I left, and let them do their thing; I drove to Willow Grove County Park and ended up finishing the Word Puzzle Book Bob had started 3¼ years ago. That was a sad moment, because I knew when the last search was completed, the book would be destined for the garbage can ☹

House ducts being cleaned …
Asking divine protection.
Everyone was atwitter with speculations. LOL
The theme of the get-togethers.
I think I'll order some prescription sunglasses.
The new tinted glasses do NOT 'tint' inside the car; the sun glare is blinding.
Bob's Word Search book is finished - I did the last search.
MONDAY. Bob, at OHSU in December of 2018, spending a leisurely day doing a Word Search page; a very poignant memory … Friday Bob would be in Heaven.

Just as I was wrapping up the Word Search Book, the fellas called to tell me they had finished the job. Before I paid him, he walked through the house with me, and said, “Your ducts were really pretty clean – but this that you see on the floor, is dryer lint. We cleaned the dryer vent too, but this stuff just cycled all through the house.”

I looked at the scattered lint, and thought, ‘the house will just have to wait for its sparkle cleanup, until after I have eaten Supper’.

Dryer lint ...
Thanking everyone for their protective prayers.
Running back into town before cleaning house.
Fortification; LOL

At least, I know the furnace/air-conditioning ducts are clean for the next three years.

I’ll have to figure out a way to clean the dryer lint behind the dryer without buying a vacuum cleaner: I don’t need a vacuum clear, other than to suck up dryer lint.

I sparkled today.

The atmosphere of the Lexington get-together was loaded with sparkling personalities and interesting convo.

The house is now sparkling clean … and I’m shuffling off to Buffalo 😉

Thursday, May 5, 2022

10 THINGS TIME HAS TAUGHT ME

1. Most of our life is spent chasing false ideals: the day you realize that and enjoy life in the present, is the day you really start to live.

2. You really, truly cannot please all of the people all of the time. Please yourself first and your loved ones second … everyone else is busy pleasing themselves anyway, trust me.

3. Fighting the aging process is like trying to catch the wind. Go with it, enjoy it. Your body is changing, but it always has been since the moment of conception. Don’t waste time trying to reverse that process of change – instead change your mindset to see the beauty in the new, immerging, you.

4. Nobody is perfect and nobody is truly happy with their lot in Life: when that sinks in, you are free of comparison and free of judgement. It’s truly liberating.

5. No one really sees what you do right, but everyone sees what you do wrong; when that becomes clear to you, you will start doing things for the right reason and you will start having so much more fun.

6. You will regret the years you spent berating your looks, the sooner you can make peace with the vessel your soul lives in, the better. Your body is amazing and important but it does not define you.

7. Your health is obviously important … but stress, fear and worry are far more damaging than any delicious food or drink you may deny yourself. Happiness and peace are the best medicine.

8. Who will remember you and for what, become important factors as you age. Your love and your wisdom will live on far longer than any material thing you can pass down. Tell your stories, they can travel farther than you can imagine.

9. We are not here for long, but if you are living against the wind it can feel like a life-sentence. Life should not feel like a chore, it should feel like an adventure.

10. Always, always, drink the good Cognac … and use the things you keep stored away for ‘best’ times. Tomorrow is guaranteed to no one. Today is a gift that’s why we call it the present. Eat, Drink & Be Merry 😊

BREAK THE CYCLE

Well ... I've never been {broken}, but I have had experiences in life that has hurt. I've been 'breaking the cycle' every day for 54 years - the cycle is an ongoing thing - so the breaking must also be an ongoing thing.


 

THIS ...

I MISS Bob.

I miss this kind of love I had it with Bob. I miss the companionship. I miss the freedom to simply be ME - freely with someone who loves unconditionally.

I miss my Husband .