SEVERING FRAGILE TIES

Yep ...

Listening to my BIL and MIL try to tear Bob down at his Celebration of Life a few weeks ago, all I could think was, "Assholes. Thank God, I will never have to see, or hear, either of them ever again."

I will always be "Bob's wife" - but I will NEVER AGAIN have to be around those 2 miserable lemon-suckers.

Unbeknownst to them, they gave me the gift of true freedom when they opened their mouths and commenced to severing the fragile ties that bound me to them while Bob was walking beside me on Earth.

Both are poor excuses for human beings. MPO

Neither will be missed in my life from that day forward.

And I am sorry Bob had to witness thier shame.

IT'LL COST 'YA

Longview has set the month of September aside as ‘2019 City Beautiful Month’. The kicker is that MOST OF WHAT NEEDS TO BE CLEANED UP IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE PICKED UP BY THE CITY “for free”. True to form, the old adage {if it advertises for free, it’s gonna cost ‘ya} rings true during this {free} city beautification month:

It was ‘dumpster day’ at the Park today …

… so, into the back end of my car I wrestled the kitchen stool I don’t need after our kitchen remodel – and loaded the paint cans the previous owner left for us to take care of; and went looking for the drop-off location. I find it, and THERE IS NO LITTLE TRAILOR for the paint deposit.

I go to the Office to ask if there is another drop-off location, and am told, “No; but the little trailer is at the dump in town.” This is the mentality we, here at the park, have to deal with on a daily basis.

I just look at Candy. I want to say, “You’re kidding, right? We only have a very small window to drop this stuff off (exactly 2 hours in the morning), and you’re sitting there telling me the trailer is still in town. At the dump, instead of being here, where it is supposed to be?” But, I don’t open my mouth to say those things – the LAST THING I WANT TO DEAL WITH that early in the morning is Candy’s crappy attitude.

I get back in my car, drive to the dumpster locale and leave the paint cans there, by the dumpster, with the kitchen stool:

The stool is practically as tall as I am – and dumpster is at least 6-7 feet tall, so there is no way I can heave the stool into the dumpster. And the little trailer isn’t even on Park premises: LET CANDY DEAL WITH the fallout if there is any; I can’t put my life on hold just because Candy can’t coordinate a simple thing like having the trailer on premises AS PROMISED so that park residents can dispose of refuse – AS PROMOTED BY LONGVIEW AND THE PARK MANAGEMENT.

When I get back home, and am taking off my coat, I saw that my White Christmas Cactus had a blossom on it – the only bright thing in my day so far ;-)

While in the bedroom, I finally tackled ‘the yellow pencil’: this pencil was the last thing Bob used before he went into the hospital last August 29^th, 2018. As you can see, there is quite a dust build-up on his wooden dresser Valet he inherited from his Grandfather Smalley in 1981, after Henry died. I have avoided touching, moving, or using Bob’s yellow pencil during these 12 months; I didn’t even dust the Valet. Every time I got close to the dresser – or passed it as I walked through the bedroom, my eyes would deliberately avoid looking directly at the pencil. I just couldn’t. I didn’t want to think about the last time Bob touched that pencil.

But, this afternoon, I touched it.

I used it.

Laying ghosts to rest is gonna cost ‘ya. To effectively lay ghosts to rest, you have to look the past in the face, deal with it, and start living in the present. It sounds easy-peasy – but it isn’t. That pencil was the last thing Bob touched before Ron Cook & Candy Scott tore our lives apart with their insane egomania.

It took a tremendous amount of willful determination to touch it, pick it up, and use it.

It cost me.

Eventually, the Valet will get dusted, now that it is no longer taboo …

I made some calls inquiring about Bazaar dates and table fees too, and those calls got through … but ALL calls stopped after those calls because a heavy cloud cover moved over the sky directly above our home and reception was practically nil:

Around Suppertime, 2 big helicopters flew over the house, so low under the heavy cloud cover that shrouded the sky, that the roof vibrated. It looked like they were headed towards Willow Grove; they flew back over the house about 35 minutes later; don’t know if this was a military drill, or if someone drowned at Willow Grove. All I know for sure was that the helicopters were L.O.U.D. when they passed by …

MY BABE IS STILL GIVING ME LOVING MEMORIES ~PRECIOUS

CRYFEST HAPPENING.

I was curious what was in this file on Bob’s laptop, and was surprised to see these pictures of my beautiful wolf, Precious.

I have been thinking of her lately, when I think of Bob.

I had no idea he had these pictures – I thought they were lost forever when my old laptop died:

The home we lived in in Lexington, WA before we bought our current home. Precious was 10 years old in this picture. She was 1/2 Timber Wolf & 1/2 Gray Wolf. She was a wonderful companion.

I loved my pretty girl. And I loved Bob for letting me have her (he did nix me having a cougar cat though ;-))

We had to have a choke collar on her when we took her out in public because she was considered "a dangerous exotic animal", even though she was the most gentle creature we had ever known, or owned. Actually, though, she "owned" us ... and she could somehow make her head smaller and slip right out of that collar when she had a notion to: in temperament she was a lot like me - she didn't like feeling trapped in her surroundings.

Precious on a camping trip with us to Millersylvania State Park in WA. She would have been about 2 years old at this time.

Bob & Precious about 6 years ago. I want to say this was taken at Trillium Lake in the Mount Hood area in OR. ... but, this could be around the new Spirit Lake in the Mount St. Helen's area - I am not sure, and Bob didn't label the picture.

Off the leash, and "in her element" at Trillium Lake about 6 years ago. Mount Hood area in OR.

Precious was about 6 feet long (stretched out) & 120 pounds. She was 10 years old in this picture. I had to put her down when she got foot cancer at 12 years old - it was almost as hard as letting Bob go ... Precious left our life, and Elohim sent us a grandson: a true miracle.

Precious lived in-house with us, and slept in our bed until sleeping 3 full grown adults in a Queen-sized bed got too crowded. LOL Then, she slept on a floor pillow in our bedroom.

She went everywhere with us because wolves are pack creatures and suffer extreme anxiety if they are separated from their pack - if she wasn't welcome where we were going ... we didn't go there. She was with us always. Precious even went to church :-D

I brought her home to live with us when she was 6 weeks old - just weaned. I admit that when I saw her father, I was a little nervous and questioned my ability to control her as she grew; but once it was established that I was alfa-female, she obeyed me.

Plus, one night when Bob was driving truck - around midnight, Precious got feisty - so I did what Ravenwolf told me I might have to do to get her to behave and recognize me as alfa-female leader ... I steeled myself and bit her lower lip, forcing her head down to the floor. IT WORKED! I didn't get bit either - of course, Precious wasn't very old at that point in time, but still, if she wanted to bite me, her teeth could have done some injury because I was literally "in her face".

About a week later, talking with Ravenwolf, he asked me "How's the wolf you got from me doing?" So, I told him, "Well, she got feisty one night, so I did what you told me to do - I bit her lip and forced her to obey me."

RAVENWOLF NEVER EXPECTED ME TO ACTUALLY DO THAT! He said, "You did WHAT? Wow, I never anyone who ever did that before."

I said, "Well, now you do - I did it; and it worked." ;-)

Dogs always scared me: getting a dog in the first place as a birthday gift for our daughter on her 18th birthday (which we ended up raising!) really was a big step for me - I had been terrorized by scottish terrors as a young child; and my brother Sam had been bit in the face by a german shepherd we knew and grew up with; dogs to me, always seemed like a crap shoot I didn't want to try. But, with Tyson, I came to love and enjoy a dog. Then we inherited a Chow - I loved Cody too.

But Precious was a wolf - A LOT DIFFERENT THAN A DOG.

But I loved her, and once she realized I was supreme being in her life, she loved me too with a fierceness that was reciprocated. Everyone who came in close contact with Precious loved her. She loved babies and kids - in the wild, Precious would have been the 'babysitter' of her pack: she certainly was in our pack ;-)

Precious died from foot cancer 5 years ago.

MAN! I miss my man … who just keeps giving and giving, and giving me good memories.

I LOVE YOU BABE.

Forever & Always.

OX

FIRST DAY OF FALL ~I MISS YOU BABY

I miss my Babe.

A lot.

I also like Etta’s music; rumor had it that her father was Minnesota Fats – the world-famous pool player.

My father played pool with Minnesota Fats: Bob & I watched him on the TV.

BETWEEN SUNDAY & MONDAY

LAST OF MOD CLAM SLIPPERS

Tonight, I finished up the last of the sea clams’ slippers

(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/09/mod-tanmen-china-clam-slippers.html).

I chose to design my slippers after these fishy beauties because I think the color combo’s are spectacular – as you can see in the video ;-)

Rare Giant(Huge) Sea Clams underwater video:
(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dKy0cOyR4bA)

All week I have worked myself like a slave to add to what I already designed/crafted, to complete a total of 12 slippers, sizes 6W to 10W

(https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2019/09/slow-day.html) … hopefully quirky people like me will come to the bazaar and buy my goods :-D

 

It may not look like a close match, but it really is … and it will show on the foot ;-)

 

Each giant sea clam is unique – like my designs. I have been battling a cold, but I think I did pretty okay considering the stuffy head-runny nose- sneezing and coughing interferred with clear thinking. LOL

I personally, don’t think we can compete with the color combos in Yeshua’s creations … but, it is fun to try to mimic as best we can ;-)

COMING OF AGE

Bob and I had SO MUCH to work out when we first got married.

We knew we loved each other, but we didn't really KNOW each other: we met in March, started dating in April, and married in August. We knew each other's bodies ... but we didn't know each other's minds.

Bob had come of age during the hippie age; and he and Gloria played at being hippies (or what they thought hippies were: Gloria and Alex are still clueless - sleeping with anything that moves and smoking weed does NOT make one a hippie) - I was RAISED A HIPPIE. There is a big difference between pretending to be something, and actually BEING that something.

I knew Bob was a logger - I knew his logging outfit cut trees down.

I also knew that I was a staunch Greenpeace advocate.

I understood the Greenpeace agenda from a 17 year old mindset - Bob understood it from an adult mindset.

While I was arguing Greenpeace in school hallways and Main Street byways ... Bob was LIVING THE REALITIES OF Greenpeace IN HIS WORK ENVIRONMENT.

He didn't want to argue it at home.

I did.

I was 17.  Seventeen year olds argue - I argued for the trees, the whales, the population explosion (I didn't know yet that I was going to be responsible for adding 1 more person to the population explosion).

One night, Bob put his Supper fork down, and said, "Val, you don't understand. This is not a game - these people are dangerous. And you are supporting an organization that threatens my job and our livihood. Open your eyes. Now, I don't want to talk anymore about it tonight - I'm hungry and I'm tired."

We ate in silence - but we never went to bed angry: EVER. That was an ironclad rule. Even if we disagreed on something, we agreed to respect our differences.

2 weeks later my eyes were opened.

1 man was seriously injured on the job when his power saw bit into a tree and hit a railroad spike that had been driven into the tree ... and later that week, a protestor was killed when he laid down in front of a train in town carrying logs to the ship loading docks.

REALITY HIT HOME.

I started looking into Greenpeace a little closer.

I didn't like what I found in my research.

I actually got sick to my stomach when I realized that an organization that claimed "love & peace" ACTUALLY PROMOTED HATE AND VIOLENCE! Greenpeace is willing to go to murderous and suicidal lengths to push thier insane agenda: it sounds good, but underneath the "save, save, save" mantra resounds a "kill, kill, kill" scream.

Being married to Bob was growing me up in ways I never imagined.

I apologized to Bob - threw my Greenpeace buttons in the trash - tore my Greenpeace patches off my clothing ... and started shedding my hippie skin for a life based in reality.

Nirvana is a fantasy.

Our life was reality.

I was coming of age …

And Greenpeace's insanity no longer had a place in it.