STRENGTH IN WEAKNESS

***3 years ago*** 

I didn't feel strong.

Bob's physical body was dying - I was barely holding on; I had to be brave for my husband's sake: so his spirit could confidently leave without being worried about leaving me behind. Alone.

I didn't feel strong.

But people were watching. They saw "a rock" - they missed the hairline fracture that had begun when our nightmare started. They didn't see that the hairline fracture was spreading and deepening. Widening. Undermining everything.

I didn't feel strong.

But people were watching.

And while learning to say goodbye to the love of my life, I began to comfort those around me who also were learning to say goodbye to their loved ones. The young woman, who was her father's choice to make medical decisions for him when he no longer could: through Bob's open room door, I heard her crying and telling the doctor, 'This is SO hard!' ... I kissed Bob's hand, and walked across that hallway, and stood with her while she cried and told the doctor to honor her father's DNR request. I didn't feel strong - but I was her strength, in her hour of need.

Another time (when Bob was being attended to by his nurses who bathed his body and helped him get through the vomiting nausea), I went to the Lounge in the center of the hallway between rooms, to wait until I could be with Bob again and not be underfoot; and a woman, about my age came into the lounge too. I could see she was visibly shaken and trying to keep things together. I put my knitting down, and she sat down next to me. Cautiously, I spoke, saying, "I can see you are pretty shaken; I don't know where you stand concerning prayer, but I am here for you." She grabbed my hand and said, "I am open to prayer; I am a Christian." She told me her situation, and we prayed. I did not feel strong - but I was her strength in her hour of need.

Other times, Yeshua sent people to me. They were my strength when I did not feel strong.

Be open.

Be available.

What seems to you to be a horrible ordeal in your life, is often the very situation where you are needed to be needful to someone else in their situation.

Healing is not always a spectacular event.