GRIEF BREAKS

Reading this chapter in the Grief~Share ‘Loss of A Spouse’ Booklet  …

… made me realize that I have been taking grief breaks for a few months now – I wasn’t aware that was what I was doing; but it is nice to know that I am “on target” with this journey ;-)

Grief never goes away: it changes, but it never goes away. Sometimes we just need to distance ourselves from it, and refuel or recharge: this grief journey I find myself on can really get me down and bum me out if I’m not careful in how I manage it.

And grief is very tiring too!

Grief-focused journaling is a way to explore & express the thoughts and feelings you find yourself dealing with; things that need to get worked out …. things you are grappling with and can’t/won’t/don’t talk about with anyone. Things that are hard to express until you start untangling them and putting them into words on paper. Journaling involves more than writing words out though. Journaling is a mental, emotional, and spiritual thing; it builds mental and emotional “muscle” while honing the spiritual aspect of this widowing journey. Journaling enables us widows to deal with life’s difficulties and uncertainties as we find ourselves delving into untapped strengths as we peek into our psyche and bring that consciousness out of ourselves and into the light of day. To be examined and put into healing action. Journaling helps us make peace with our deepest sorrow, and discover a new sense of purpose & meaning of life.

Journaling can also involve reminiscing over old photographs and recent smart phone videos. Journaling helps us in our emotional explorations as we trip through the journey of our minds, forming a writing style that gives way to fluid free self-expression as we lay bare our lives; in writing down our thoughts & feelings ‘in the moment”, seeing our thoughts and feeling come to life before our eyes forces us to slow down and pay careful attention to everything that has; or is, affecting our lives.

Journaling helps us open our mind beyond the scope of basic writing to make the act of writing a creative form of artistic expression that is very liberating and very healing. Journaling is, in a sense, opening a window to the soul.

And when that window opens … healing begins.

Journaling helps widows de-stress by bringing all those emotions to the surface to be looked at, felt, and dealt with – as through the written expression we begin to work through our issues rather than avoid them.

And every once in a while, you need to break free from emotional journeys of the mind, and the spiritual aspect of opening the window of the soul.

Sometimes, you need a brief grief break.

These breaks can include – but are not cast in stone:

* Plan something you enjoy each day. Set aside a time to read a good book; watch a favorite sitcom’ treat yourself to a sweet you don’t normally indulge in; immerse yourself for an hour or two in a hobby that gives you peace of mind and pleasure to be doing.

Since these activities are times for personal nurturing, don’t plan group activities for this span of time you set aside to take a break.

* Plan “mini-vacas” that do not take a lot of time or money to enjoy; but that help you reconnect with life. You may choose activities that you can enjoy alone – or with a friend/friends. For example, you could get a haircut/try a new hair style; get a manicure/pedicure; go for a drive to explore an unfamiliar area; spend a night at a B & B; go to a museum or sporting event; go hiking or biking; walk a County Park … or whatever pleases you and relaxes you.

Whatever you decide to do on your grief break, be aware that there may arise emotional triggers that may lead to crying: THAT IS OKAY.

Cry it out. Dry the tears. Face the fears. Find laughter in the moment, And be thankful that you had a past that made you cry, and be thankful that you have a future to look forward to that all those tears are preparing you for ;-)

You got this!

Widowhood is not a journey we can get around, climb over, slide under, or wish away.

Widowhood is a journey that we cannot escape.

Widowhood can break us … or make us.

The choice is up to us.

MAKE THAT GRIEF BREAK WORK FOR YOU.