Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Friday, August 23, 2019

ALL I ASK FOR ANYMORE


When Bob died the 2nd time in 1981 - he was returned to me a new man: saved, sealed, and delivered.

He never looked back.

He was {all in} ... he'd been to Hell: and he knew he'd been given a free pass.

Elohim had favored him with grace.

And Bob never wasted that grace.

Every morning he woke up thanking God he'd been given reprieve to serve Elohei - love his wife - and watch his children grow up.

He was rewarded with 3 granddaughters ... and a welcomed grandson, who came later in life - but "on time" according to Elohim's timeline ;-)

And every night, for the past 38 years, I would hear him say, "Thank You, Lord: please watch over my wife and kids. That's all I ask for anymore."

I'm sorry, Baby, that I've been slippin'.

I have just been missing you SO BAD these past 8 months.

I skid off the rails on a Crazy Train headed for cliff with Me, Myself, and I ...

For a bit.

But, now, I think I'm getting back on track.

And I'll step up, stand with you, and cover your back again - like I used to do when I still had you here, with me.

So, when you are standing next to Yeshua tonight, and looking down on me with your beautiful hazel Asian eyes, and asking Elohim to "please watch over my wife and kids. That's all I ask for anymore", your sexy mouth will be pulled back in a generous smile, when you see me lift up the Banner & hear me repeating your nightly prayer - with a slightly different twist, hoping for the same outcome: "Thank You, Lord: please watch over my kids & grandkids - and don't let me fall down any more on the job entrusted to me by the husband you blessed me with. That's all I ask for anymore."

Thank you, Bob for our kids - I'll keep them ALL before Yeshua's face; and by His grace, they WILL ALL GET THERE TOO.

I'm standing up now, and I won't let you down.

I love you, Babe.

Always.

OX

HE ALWAYS GAVE ME HIS BEST


Bob WAS my fantasy man.

In EVERY way.

But …

He was also 100% REAL man.

In the flesh,

Who loved me like a man.

What a man!

I love you, Babe.

Always.

OX

WE LEARNED LOVE FROM EACH OTHER



When Bob & I first met, we were pretty soured on love.

Love had not been kind to us.

We always knew something was lacking.

Both of us were in relationships that were barely surviving on emergency measures.

The life-saving efforts were no longer working in those relationships.

Bob’s 1st marriage had died so many deaths, that resurrection time had come and gone. It was going up in flames; never to rise again …

Doug & I had played the field for SO long, we had lost sight of the goalpost. The ‘understanding’ was suffering a debilitating beating on the open field.

So, when we first met, face-to-face at his house – at a kegger Doug had thrown (Doug & Bob were working together & Doug was renting an upstairs room at Bob’s house), neither of us were interested in love.

But we WERE interested in each other.

A LOT.

We said “Hello!” to each other … and ‘goodbye’ to the others.

And our love-weary/love-leery hearts woke up.

We KNEW that this time, love might be kind ;-)

It felt true.


We learned how to love from each other ...

And we ran with it.

It was a good run.

A breathless 44 years, that never got old.

LOVE ME LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW


Bob would always grab me, pull me on his lap - start nibbling my ear, and say, "What a way to go ... let's go."

And we'd softly laugh all the way down the hallway, so we wouldn't wake up the kids.

We always loved like there was no tomorrow.

Because we never knew, after he died the 2nd time & Elohim sent him back to me, IF there would be a tomorrow.

We always woke up thankful for another day.

And grateful to be so favored with a good life, good loving, and a good promise.

Until December 14th, 2018. 8:05 a.m.

And though our tomorrows had officially ended with me holding his hand BESIDE his bed ... instead of cuddling IN bed ...

I WAS THANKFUL Elohim has favored us with those extra 38 years of solid & steady "love me like there's no tomorrow" tomorrow's.

For 44 years, Bob gave me his best - and he left me with wonderful memories.

I love you, Babe.

Always.

OX

Thursday, August 22, 2019

SINCE I DON'T HAVE YOU

AND THERE WAS YOU


No more than just a broken heart ago
I made a promise to myself
I’d never trust someone again
Judging from my rough & rocky past,
I wrote off love as just a game a fool will play & never win;
I felt certain I was right
‘Til I turned a corner in the night

And there was you

Like an Angel
You just suddenly appeared
Sent to me with a love so true
That could make up for all the lies & wasted years
Now I can see that there were other loves I knew;
And there was you

I’ve heard the words, “I love you” said in vain so many times
I quit believing that someone could really care
And after one to many dead-end roads
I found myself stumbling through the dark end, down to my last prayer
I didn’t know what else to try
‘Til I raised my head and opened up my eyes

And there was you

Like an Angel
You just suddenly appeared
Sent to me with a love so true
That could make up for all the lies & wasted years
Now I can see that there were other loves I knew;
And there was you

1st CORINTHIANS ~Chapter 9



In this study today, Paul seems to be complaining because he feels overworked, and underpaid.

Well … that can be said, of ALL of us, who are called to go forward with the Gospel – to preach it to every man, woman, and child.

WHAT Paul seem to have forgotten is that the Gospel is to be GIVEN FREELY. Without expectation of pay for receiving it.

And Paul was a Pharisee BEFORE he was called by Yeshua to preach the Gospel. It seems to me – based on what he wrote here – that he is falling back on those days when the Temple Leadership WAS PAID in temple tithes for their Temple Service.

It also seems to me – based on Scripture – that he is forgetting about FREEWILL OFFERINGS, and focusing instead on what he feels is his “due rights”.

Remember to read Scripture under the guidance of The Ruach Ha’Kodesh – remembering that men will be men, given to the emotions of the flesh.

When we remember THAT, we will understand that while Paul sounds whiney and contradictory … he is only a man (a saved man), given to the feelings of a man.

And we CAN LEARN from his example; whether that example be complimentary … or otherwise.

**********

1st CORINTHIANS ~Chapter 9


“Am I not free? Am I not an Apostle? Have I not seen Yeshua Ha’Mashiach, with my own eyes? Are not you yourselves products of my work in Mashiach? Even if I am not an Apostle to some others, yet at any rate I am that to you, for you are the seal of my apostleship in Mashiach. And this is my defense in answer to my critics. Don’t we also have the right to eat and drink? May we not also take with us on our journeys a Christian sister, or a wife, like the other apostles and the brethren of Mashiach & Cephas? Are Barnabas and I the only ones who have no right to rest from working for a living?

What soldier ever goes to war at his own expense? Who plants a vineyard but does not eat any of the grapes? Who takes care of sheep without drinking their milk? I say this as man to man. But does not the Law also say the very same things? For in the Law of Moshe is it not written, ‘You shall not muzzle an ox, when he is treading out the corn.’ Is it for the oxen only that Elohim cares? Is it not especially for our sakes? Yes, indeed, it is written for us, for it surely is right that the ploughman as he ploughs, and the thresher as he threshes, should have some hope of share in the harvest.

We have been busy planting spiritual seed in you, Is it a hardship for you if we reap some of your material harvest? If others claim the right to share with you, don’t we have still greater right? You ask, why have we not then made use of that right? No, we should rather bear anything than set up an obstacle in the way of the Gospel of Mashiach.

Surely you must know that those who are in the Temple Service get their daily bread from the Temple; and the alter attendants get their share of the sacrificial offerings. In that way, too, Mashiach has ordered those who preach the Gospel shall live from the Gospel. As for me, I have made no such use of my rights. Nor am I writing this now to secure any such belated help. I would rather die than have anyone make this boast of mine void.

I am not boasting of the fact that I preach the Gospel. Necessity compels me to do that. It would mean, “Woe is me!” if I did not preach the Gospel. If I preach it willingly, I have my pay. But if I do it because I must, I am entrusted with a responsibility. In that case, what pay should I get? My pay is this, that in my preaching I offer the Good News about Mashiach free to all, without making use of my own right to a living by the Gospel.

In this way no one has any claim on me, yet I have made myself everyone’s debtor so as to win more souls. With the Jews, I became as a Jew that I might wins Jews for Mashiach. To those under The Law I became as one under The Law, though I, myself, was not under The Law, so as to gain those under The Law. And to those outside The Law I became as one outside The Law, too. This did not mean that I did not recognize the Law of Elohei; but it meant that I was under the law of Mashiach, so as to win those without any moral law. To the weak I became weak, in order to win the weak. In short, I became everything to everyone, in order that I might by some means save some. I am still doing this for the sake of the Gospel, so that I may have a share in its blessings together with the rest.

You know that of all the runners who compete in a footrace, only one gets the prize. Therefore, run to win. Every competing athlete exercises strict self-control. In such a race the winner receives a perishable wreath; but in the Christian race, the prize is an imperishable crown. So, I keep on running, but not aimlessly. And I fight, but not as one beating the air. I exercise my own body and I make it serve me, so that, after having preached to others, I myself should not be disqualified.”