Oy.
Marriage: the blending of two into one.
It gets dicey at times.
Love always triumphs ... but the hurdles that need to be leapt can hurt like hell.
I've been solo lobo for four years - no dating. No one to answer to but me-myself-& I.
Holland has been solo lobo for seventeen - no dating. No one to answer to except him-himself-& he.
There are people, and things, I do not want in my life.
Holland like Bob, makes room for everyone and everything.
This is causing some issues. The issues are being ironed out - they will take time, but they will get settled. Until then, the hurdles are a hinderance along the path to happiness.
Holland is a Christian; so am I. Christians deal with the same {life issues} as everyone else ... we just handle them differently.
Since we are currently not going to Fellowship following the ridiculous blowout fiasco at Oak Point two months ago started by jeanne paulson (and the current hurdle needing laid to rest permanently; MPO), I decided to enjoy a Sunday~Funday out-of-house yesterday morning.
It's been a while since my last Sunday~Funday adventure, and sitting around the house wasn't setting well with me given the current mood :-(
I reached for my Ambitions Jar, plucked a folded piece of paper out, and read it. Perfect! I needed to walk the knot in the piriformis muscle out anyway, and today's adventure would help me do that :-)
Holland was invited to join me, but he opted to stay home. His shoulder was hurting (it's really painful); and he doesn't make a very good passenger - that's pretty much a man attitude ;-)
He agreed it would be good for me to get away for a few hours - I told him I'd probably be gone most of the day; he kissed me and said "You probably need a break to relax (aka: I don't want to argue with you anymore about my OP 'friends'); it's okay Baby, I know you gotta get out and about. And you will probably spend your driving time talking to God."
He was right.
And I did.
Holland knows I don't want anything to do with those devils from Oak Point - I don't want them in our relationship in any way, shape, or form: anyone who treats your spouse horribly (as jeanne, luroy, dan, dawn, heva, betty, perry, ect.; HAVE DONE TO ME) should not be in your life. He agreed. He has reneged. I am justifiably upset. And he doesn't understand why - like I said, he's been a solo lobo for quite a while; being married is an adjustment he's lagging behind in ... when it comes to those devils on the hill, herded by jeanne paulson.
This is a serious hurdle. Honesty is a BIG DEAL with me. Hiding things from me so I "don't get upset", will upset me! Hiding things is equal to lying = not okay in a marriage.
Billy Idol - 'One Breath Away' song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlvuyTFPUww)
While it is true that we have agreed not to change each other ... I still insist he be trustworthy in all respects - specifically in regard to the people we agreed should not be in our lives; so, I am sic'ing Elohei on Holland, and HE can change my husband's heart and mind.
Elohim knows best how to handle the hurdle jumping we are both engaged in, as we live and learn.
I didn't get gussied up for my walkabout - I was just plain old me. There's no point in dolling up to go walking in the misty rain.
I assured him that I would not be hiking in the wilds: "Hon, the address given is a street address, so I'll be okay." I told him the route I'd be driving: he worries about me hiking alone.
Then I hopped in the Highlander and headed out of Longview.
My first stop along the way was in Lexington to watch the sealions swooping and dipping into the Cowlitz River waters - I make a lot of stops on my daytrips, and that is why it takes me all day long to get back home ;-)
My next stop was not the stop I had planned in the morning; Plan A didn't work out, and Elohim rerouted me to Plan B, later on in the afternoon.
I was missing my husband. I was missing his presence, even though he does not make a good passenger. I was missing his gentle voice. I was missing his sexy laugh. I was missing his hand reaching out to hold mine.
I wasn't missing the hurdles ... but I was missing Holland.
I know he loves me, and he knows I love him; the hurdles will eventually disappear - we know that what we have together is "a God thing" - and we are both familiar with the Book of Job: nothing, or no one, is going to divide us as we forge a life together and learn about each other. We know that blending two lives together successfully will take time. Neither one of us are going anywhere; when we said, "I do", we meant "I will" no matter what.
I am not familiar with the streets in Centralia, so I had punched the address into GPS before leaving the carport at home: as usual GPS took me on an unnecessary wild goose chase - if I had known how simple it would have been to get from A to B, I could have skipped this hurdle jump. But I didn't know ...
Seminary Hill is a very small pocket-Park. IN NO WAY did it fit the reporter's "small piece of Paradise" description :-(
So, I aimed the Highlander towards Napavine, to begin my drive back home on the backroads.
That's when Plan B came into play :-)
Right off, I spotted swans in the field. Seeing swans is a good omen. Swans symbolize love, devotion, romance, inner beauty, grace, and elegance. Swans mate for life, and stay together all their lives; swans are "lovebirds" in the truest sense of the word - seeing them signifies peace and contentment.
I felt blessed twice: a walk to work the kinks out ... and a clear view of the swans. It was like Elohim was telling me, "I hear your heart. I will help you two clear the hurdles as you live and learn."
And I know He will. People may let me down, but Elohim never does :-)
A bit further into the trail walk, I figured I must be in the middle portion of the hike because none of it was familiar to me of the trailhead: the metal green bridge was nowhere to be seen, and that is at the trailhead - this portion is nothing at all that I recognize. But that's okay; it was still a nice walk :-)
When I got back to the parked Highlander, the mile meter reading was right where it should be. I headed the Highlander towards home. I had fun on this Sunday, but my big bear of a man was missing me as much as I was missing him ;-)
Eating the supper my handsome husband made for me, I smiled thinking of a song Holland mentioned the other night as we turned in.
It fits ;-)
Barbara Mandrell - 'Crackers' song:(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIbQcC-IbUM)
We are living and learning as we blend our lives together.
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