LOVE IS IN THE AIR

Today is the first day of Winter.

I woke up this morning hoping that today would also be a day of positivity; so, I determined to be the first in line at the local Security Office, downtown. I did not want to be sitting for an hour (or longer) in an over-crowded room, and later be dealing with an irritable and stressed-out assistant.

I washed my hair, but didn’t style it – or mess around with makeup. My hair was flat, and my face was bare … but I was in and out of the office in under 20 minutes 😊

Elohim was merciful: nothing will change with my benefits when I remarry, and I don’t even have to change my last name on the check mailed to me. But, I think I will hyphenate it: keeping both my married names to honor both men who honor me with their love to me. Ditto for the Bank Account.

In a phone call, I discussed this with Holland after I left the building; and he’s okay with that decision. It makes sense – as a widow, I still need to have Bob’s Name and Social Security Number attached to me in case there are any more surprises like the Pension Plan I started receiving last year.

I’m glad Holland is an understanding man.

I’m glad Holland is a confident man and knows he is not in competition with Bob.

I’m glad I’m at this place in my life. I am a blessed, and highly favored woman. It is good to be a daughter of the Most-High God 😊

I didn’t know, until recently, why things always fell apart when I tried to move forward with my own understanding – and desired outcomes. Now, I know. And, as I told Holland earlier today, I am still surprised by the Plan Elohim had for me that kept me bound here until I took notice. I am amazed that I am getting a second chance to be loved unconditionally by a good man. I am startled to feel love towards another man 😉

Holland just laughed, and said, “Well Baby, that’s because I love you; and I waited a long time for you. But, I’m glad I don’t have to wait any longer. As soon as I get things settled on my end, we’ll get married – BTW, what kind of wedding ring do you want?”

So, we talked rings; and things for another hour 😊

Holland told Jake a year ago that he was going to marry me – they were standing around talking, and Jake said, “It’s strange, but she feels like a sister to me. Like she’s family.” And Holland said, “That’s because she is your sister – and she’s going to be family: she doesn’t know it yet, but I’m going to marry her. Val is going to be my wife.”

Rascal Flatts – ‘Bless The Broken Road’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZp6pmgbZyU)

Rascal Flatts – ‘I Won’t Let Go’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BW9zMSwKIdU)

When Holland and I first met, I was coming out of the widow-daze-fog … and I had some pretty strong opinions about life in general. Holland and Jake were fast friends, and they helped {ground} me (kinda like Bob used to): they listened – offered encouragement, and sometimes soft advice from a different outlook on the topic being discussed – they didn’t crowd me – they prayed with me and for me – they gave me unconditional friendship, and true agape love.

Holland watched me struggle … and come to terms with letting go (of the crippling love that kept me tied to Bob, and of some of my hard and fast opinions) – he listened to my words as my heart healed; he watched me grow in spite of myself.

He heard me pray with tears running down my face, after the Eden Valley Cemetery debacle: “Help me God! I don’t know how to unlove Bob – for so long Bob was my whole life. I know I have to cut my losses and move forward, but this letting go is hard!

I.don’t.know.how.to.not.love.Bob.” 

My “Chapter Closed” Eden Valley Cemetery Post: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/08/chapter-closed.html

He said it hurt him to hear me hurting so bad. How could he complete with a strong and deep love like that? So, he kept his love for me to himself: until this November.

John Michael Montgomery – ‘I Can Love You Like That’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pS2zOqG1sIo)

John Michael Montgomery – ‘I Swear’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3cxv0RYnMQ)

Things started coming together and falling into place when Holland was hospitalized; it scared me that he was so ill – that he could possibly die. I was panicked at the thought. I knew then, that he meant more to me than a “just a close friend”. He’d been flirting with me for a solid year; he flat out told me what he felt towards me … maybe it was time to stop running from it, and just let happen whatever would happen.

Celine Dion – ‘Because You Loved Me’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpZkY47-cVI)

I’m a better person because of Bob’s love, in my other life – the life that died when Bob’s physical body died.

I’m also a better person unfolding in this New Life, because of Holland’s love.

My heart is big enough to hold all that love 😊

My new life will be enriched with Holland’s permanent presence in it. I’ll have love again. I’ll have roots again. I’ll have family again. I’ll have purpose and a sense of direction again.

Life will be sweet again.

And pictures will be taken, no matter how anyone looks or feels; pictures matter – and someday, those “NO! Don’t take that picture of me!” will be all that’s left to hang onto. Pictures matter.

Blake Shelton – ‘God Gave Me You’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGXHWqlH_dc)

Kenny Chesney – ‘Me & You’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R3cxv0RYnMQ)

When this afternoon’s phone convo ended – and it was agreed I’d join Holland for his family’s Christmas Supper, Sunday evening, my heart was light and my soul was happy. Holland’s is really turning the heat up in his courtship dance, and his comments and questions to me made me think of this Blake Shelton song:

Blake Shelton – ‘Doin’ What She Likes’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04WRI-0odjk)

That song cracks me up every time I listen to it 😉

And before the convo ended, I said, “I love you too … don’t burn the house down trying to please me.”

I was laughing so hard thinking of the visuals of this song, that when I put the phone down and turned the ignition on, tears were running down my face 😊

Now, I’m going to light the Hanukkah candles, and later on watch Hallmark Christmas movies.

Love is in the air 😉