CHRISTMAS EVE ASTHMA ATTACK

I really thought my ticket would be punched tonight.

I am worn out just trying to stay alive, so I'm going to go to bed. I will also be setting the alarm clock for 5 AM; because that is when snow is expected to make a showing.

The attack came out of nowhere.

Experiencing an asthma attack when you are all alone is scary.

You start coughing – but can’t draw breath into your lungs. Tears are running down your face. You feel like iron bands are closing around your chest, squeezing life out of you. You try not to panic because panic in this dire situation is an additional enemy.

I was feeling my life ebbing away, and looking at my inhaler: the inhaler was useless because I need air in order to inhale the steroid … and if I can’t suck air into my lungs, the inhaler is worthless.

I considered calling 911 – but I couldn’t breathe to speak; all I could do was cough and wheeze. 911 would have been as equally useless as the inhaler, at this point.

I MISSED BOB; and I knew that I may be seeing Bob, if my lungs didn’t settle down.

I was lightheaded.

I knew my face looked like it had gone through a meat grinder: strenuous coughing, trying mightily to get air into my struggling lungs, and feeling myself suffocate was putting pressure on the blood vessels in my face.

It’s a helpless feeling – and I hate feeling helpless. I don’t like feeling out of control of my own body.

I concentrate HARD on calming down – my struggling lungs are quickly moving towards hyperventilation; but, I know, from past experiences …  that if I can get the spiraling suffocation under control, I have a chance of surviving this attack.

My chest HURTS. 

My lips are tingling.

My throat is very sore.

I carefully stand up and walk around.

Suddenly I feel air squeezing into my constricted lungs, and I gulp it in – trying not to be greedy: too much air, too quickly, will set off another attack.

As the air slowly, and painfully fills my lungs, I have to spit. There is blood in the spit: my throat is raw from the coughing. Blood vessels in my throat have burst from the suffocation inflammation. I turn on the sink faucet, thankful the danger is past.

Now, I can use my inhaler – my airways are open enough. In short order, I am breathing easier: the danger is past.

But I am worn out.

It is hard on your body, struggling to stay alive.

I’m going to go to bed now and rest.

Hopefully I will wake up when the alarm goes off, notifying me snow may be waiting to greet my eyes. If not, I'll be with Bob ;-)

Christmas Eve was exciting … but I wish it had not been so painfully engaging.

We Three Kings - Sarah McLachlan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGVNzgUxE-g)

The First Noel/Marry Mary – Sarah McLachlan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6s8eEMKx05A)

Angels We Have Heard on High – Sarah McLachlan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lak92TFo-zA)

O Come All Ye Faithful – Sarah McLachlan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XGRG2qgTycU)

What Child Is This/Greensleeves – Sarah McLachlan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t2qIqEPMriA)

O Little Town of Bethlehem – Sarah McLachlan (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jyPMDD8fGeA)

Sarah McLachlan: Wintersong (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGwXyM82k2Y)