The majority of my Shabbat Rest was peaceful, today.
The text is a timely message: next Wednesday is my 4 Year Widow
Date. I’m
glad I’ll be spending it laughing this year, with a long-standing friend who
loves me like a sister; and I’ll get to catch up on news concerning her
husband, that I love very much (like a goofy brother) – her kids, and
toddling granddaughter, and the Fall vaca-trip they took down South. This year
I am actually looking forward to December 14th 😉
Things got
a little sideways around 5:30 P.M., and I put Mr. Complication back on ice, for
a while. He may think he’s ready for a relationship with me, but I think he needs
more reflective time. There is a lot going on that I can’t get into at the
moment, and it is pressing on our budding relationship; putting us both in a
very difficult spot individually (we do not agree on it, at all); and
once my intuition kicked in – and my suspicions were confirmed (not another
woman – just some social nonsense that needs to be settled), I sent him
a Dear John text … and that grabbed his attention real quick.
‘Trouble In Paradise’ Post: (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/12/trouble-in-paradise_10.html)
He immediately
got on the phone, “Hey Baby, what’s up?”
I said,
“My temper is up.” And I explained why – colorfully, and in minute
detail so he couldn’t possibly misunderstand what I was saying. After
several times of listening to his interjecting lame excuses; I just broke in
saying, “Holland. Holland! You are not listening to what I’m saying …”, then,
I just ended the convo with, “We aren’t talking the same language. I think
we need to cool our jets for a bit until you figure out what you really want. I
think you want a lukewarm tea type of woman – and I’m not that. I’m a hurricane
when the wind blows the wrong way. I want a man in my life that doesn’t hide
things from me, thinking he’s protecting me: I can protect myself. I want a man
in my life that puts my peace of mind and happiness before anything, or anyone
else – and what I hear you saying is that you aren’t with me on this, in this
situation. I know you’re in a tough spot … but I am not; I don’t see this
situation resolving itself, like you do. I’m done with that, and I’m done
listening to excuses.”
I’ll
miss him.
He really needs to spend some time thinking about what he really wants. And he needs to decide for him; not to get back in my good graces. As long as the problem stands between us, he’ll be on ice (not as a friend, but there will be no future for us to go beyond friendship): there will never be any agreement concerning the divisive circumstances – we just see it too differently. I will not enter into a relationship where I will be unequally yoked.
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