Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Wednesday, December 7, 2022

MAKING IT {OFFICIAL}

Bonnie Raitt – ‘Love Sneakin’ Up On You’ song:

A LOT CAN HAPPEN IN 4 DAYS!

I didn’t want it to happen.

I fought it.

I denied it.

I did everything in my power to ignore his advances … and make it go away.

But, Fate won’t be denied.

Everything came to a head when Holland was in the hospital with kidney stones, a few days ago. I have known for a year that he has been flirting with me … but I wasn’t ready to let go of the memory of Bob. About two months ago, Holland got bolder in his attempts to catch my attention – and I kept shutting him down. Gently. Firmly.  Two weeks ago, Holland actually texted me, spelling out clearly what his intentions were:

I pulled over to the side of the road and stared at the text for a good 15 minutes before responding. I cried. I did not want this. Friendship – yes; romance leading to marriage – NO.

I even flat out told him to “look elsewhere – I’m not interested in romance; I still love Bob”: (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/11/it-aint-me-keep-searching.html).

Mr. Complication was persistent.

I don’t even know when things changed on my end!

All I know … is that things did change … from my adamant denial on Thursday (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/12/think-pink-breathe.html) – to agreeing to a “coffee date” on the following night (he had released from the hospital around 1 AM Friday morning). I got a text simply saying, “I’m home. We have to talk.”

Things spiraled into {official dating} in turbo speed.

The past three evenings … sandwiched between small-scale home Christmas décor, hiking, my Monday & Tuesday Life Coaching Meetings, and Sunday Fellowship … have been enlightening, exciting, informative, and moving quickly towards building a permanent life together (not sure when that will be ‘official’). We’re not rushing into anything, but permanency is being discussed. We’re Senior Citizens – there’s not a whole lot of time to pussy-foot around 😉

We have a lot in common.

I find myself smiling when he calls, or texts; we are friends – I like spending time with him. Though he is very different from Bob … there are similarities of character. Friends think it’s cute when they hear him call me ‘Baby’ (they don’t know that’s Bob’s pet name for me; and I didn’t cry when I heard Holland say it to me). I didn’t pull away when he touched me, like I thought I might: Bob’s the only man that has ever held my hand, or hugged me, in 48 years; 4 of those years, I’ve been a solo lobo widow quite content to remain single – Holland has changed that. The kisses are quick and tentative pecks, and Holland is understanding. This dating thing is unfamiliar territory to me. He gives me space to breathe and get comfortable with these quick paced changes; he is not rushing me. He is allowing me to set the pace. I appreciate that.

Holland’s been on fire for 15 months – my feelings are sparking.

I never expected anything like this. I never encouraged it. I’ve been blindsided by the Love Bug.

Christmas Cactus is spreading big time, and blooming all over.
The first casualty of the season ...
Finally using the Christmas Angel, I bought at a Garage Sale 2 years ago ... I like it.
Christmas decorations in place, for 2022 Season.
The router doing the funky chicken dance; Friday night. GRRR. It got replaced last night (Monday).
New Read started & finished before midnight.
A frosty morning walk along the dike hike trail; Saturday.
Mule deer on Old Pacific Highway.
Time for new slippers; the stone floor in the kitchen tore the bottoms out of this pair!
Meeting The Family; Sunday Morning.
Jogging Santa.
'Official Date' Nights; Sunday, Monday, Tuesday ... and ongoing ;-)
Bonnie Raitt – ‘Thing Called Love’ song:
Tom Petty – ‘A Face In The Crowd’ song:
Holland likes my 'fun side' (the flashy 'Redneck Princess' side of me); & he put this smile on my face.

I called my kids and got their input on the situation; I heard, “Go for it!”

I feel that if Bob is watching this thing unfolding, he is smiling and applauding this next step forward in my New Life.

My laptop has been on the fritz since Friday evening: the router needed to be replaced. Holland came by tonight to see what he could do; and got it up and running 😊

And because my laptop background pic is of Bob … he got a closeup view of the man he has been competing with for ownership of my heart. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t appear to be uncomfortable. He knows there is room in my heart to make a space for him; he knows because I have told him that.

He also heard me say (one Sunday Fellowship Day), when I went forward for prayer, “I am asking prayer for direction in my life. I want e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. God has for me.”

Holland knew something I did not know. Holland waited for me – he will still wait for me, as long as it takes (which, all of a sudden, is a short period of time).

I did not want this. I did not sit around waiting for it. I actively discouraged any flirting. But Holland waited 35 years for this … and my heart is softening, and ready to take the plunge with all the complicated risks. This is a new experience; and yet I am totally comfortable leaning into it 😉

I am comfortable with Holland; and more than a little surprised that I am totally comfortable with the love he has just for me.

Thank You, Father, for the divine provision.

Thank you, Bob, for making me hear your approving encouragement when I didn’t want to.

Thank You, Yeshua, for Your peace that passes all understanding.

Thank You, Ruach HaKo’desh, for the tie that binds.

Mr. Complication & Me; we made it 'officially known' yesterday afternoon.
Bonnie Raitt – ‘Something To Talk About’ song:
Holland was not 'thrown' by seeing Bob's face for my 'Background' Laptop Pic (the first time he's come face-to-face with Bob - 2014). I am fortunate to be so unconditionally loved by the two unexpected men, Elohim favored me with.

I am no longer denying the inevitable.

Fate always has its way 😉

2023 is going to be very interesting.

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