Fall
has arrived, and Winter is quickly approaching.
Falling leaves are beautiful, and the evenings chills off fast.
But the chilly magical moments
also bring early dusking and long lonely hours before bedtime; which has it’s own
lonely tinge to it.
Already
I am bored just thinking about all that empty time coming at me.
As my activities changes
directions with the season, I am going to be actively searching for something
to do indoors that will not be boring – I need to be intellectually and
artistically challenged; so those are the areas I will be focusing on to get me
through November 2020 to March 2021.
I am determined to find
in-house things to do that do not bore me out of my ever-lovin’ mind.
Solitaire only goes so far.
Movies will put you to sleep after a while
Phone
calls slack off when there is nothing new happening in ANYONE’S life.
There has to be something to
do indoors that is exciting, stimulating, and engaging.
I will be chomping at the
bit in February … but by then I can focus on plotting/designing the garden
area; and starting seedlings to be transplanted in late February, early March
& mid-April.
I’m a high-energy person
with a low tolerance for sitting on my butt twiddling my thumbs. I have to be
moving. I have to be actively engaging in life; not in the fast lane, but at a
quick pace.
And I need someone to
actively engage with: not every day, not all day. But at least once a week,
would be nice.
So, that is what I will be focusing on.
And trusting Elohim to provide.
The type of relationship I
am praying for offers heterosexual companionship without romantic drama or
turmoil – and no sexual interaction; but it will be a close, compatible
friendship, built on mutual interests and trust: trust is a very big
issue with me; the person I am praying to come into my life will enjoy hanging
out together, without romantic inclinations.
That new life change will not change.
The
person Elohim sends across my path will also want this type of relationship.
Bob was a loving man.
Bob was a passionate man.
Bob was a gentle and pleasing
lover; I am not interested in changing direction in that regard.
I am content to
warmed by those memories.
The person Elohim sends
across my path will understand this about me, and not push the boundary line.
Meanwhile, I am – at the
moment – busily tagging Bazaar items for next weekend’s Bazaar in Rosburg.
This will be the first time I’ll be going back to the Grange Hall since Bob’s Celebration of Life, August 30th,
2018.
Bob and I, together, had
only done 1 Bazaar there: 4 years ago.
My stomach is a little
queasy; this is Bob’s family’s stomping grounds. Every single table will be
hosted by one of his relatives.
I am no longer ‘family’;
without Bob by my side, I feel like an intruder.
I was asked to host a table,
but this may be the last Bazaar I do there.
I feel a directional change.
Normally I am excited, and
looking forward to a Bazaar … but right now all I feel is nervous – almost like
the Hall will not be welcoming. I’ve almost called Frieda twice and begged off –
that how uneasy I am about carrying through with the promise to be there.
But a promise is a promise.
So, I will finish tagging, and enjoy the sunset.
And listen to the voice of
the changing winds blowing through the autumn of my life.
