Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Friday, September 18, 2020

FIGHTING FOR ME


1) Bear with me … Blogger has changed their format: and it is a bit confusing to figure out. There will be mistakes.

2) I am going to unload some heaviness I’ve had on my heart for a loooong time – I need to do this for me. As stated in my Blog into … I post for me. If what I post can help someone else – great. But, I post primarily for me. I need to heal: unburdening is the way I heal. Some people will be offended; I can’t help that. Right now, ((((I)))) am my main concern.

Yesterday morning, I had the radio on to get updates about the air quality from the wildfire smoke that has been hanging over our heads this past week:

Radio promised overnight rain, ½” -1” thru the weekend. We need that!
It did rain last night, around Supper time :-D

President Trump signed the Patriotic Education Studies into effect this afternoon (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1eqxZGcZZQ).

OLD GLORY
There is no place for race wars in America.

This should have been done a long time ago – things should never have reached the point they have in America.

Hate on steroids ...

Schools need to get back to teaching academics, and stop preaching foreign propaganda. Those schools, colleges, and universities that won’t … should have their government-supplemental-funding pulled.

4½ decades have come and gone since American History was pulled and “social studies” replaced American studies in American schools (1973 was when this happened in Cathlamet; I was in high school, and said then that social studies would lead to anarchy). colleges and universities replaced American History and sound education with communist pogroms/socialist manifestos/islamic doctrine – political chatter and twaddle designed to indoctrinate/brainwash students, and eradicate American History. For this 1 reason I pleaded with Bob to keep our children out of public schools – he balked because his grandmother had been school teacher to Eden Valley, and later the Wahkiakum County School Superintendent. But, he came around after I finally removed her from school in 1987 and insisted she be Home Educated as I wanted from the beginning:

I had the Law of our State on my side. I had the Law in my hand as I removed my child from the school. I had a top-notch Teacher in my corner: and Mr. Thomas knew I would bulldoze right through him if he dared to stand in my way.
This is the last family picture … Stacey left home in a blowout of blue smoke, shortly afterwards.
I got my own Teaching Certificate when it came time to Home Educate our granddaughter; I taught her from K-Jr. High. She was on the Dean’s List all through High School.

Bob came around; and saw that it was best. But, it was too late: Stacey was lost to us by then. She was totally society’s child … ruined by mindless rebellion; and each year, she gets sucked deeper and deeper into the aimless ‘hate culture’ muck; dragging her kids with her.

Anti-American politics had seriously revved up over the decades. calimexarabia has recently passed a law that mandates foreign history supersedes American History – and graduation diplomas will not be given until the indoctrination is completed: there is NO OPT OUT. This “law” is ILLEGAL and DIRECTLY GOES AGAINST American Constitution and Bill of Rights. newsom’s illegal pandering {law} is a disgrace, and a slap in the face to every legal American Citizen (https://edsource.org/2020/gov-newsom-signs-assembly-bill-1460-requiring-ethnic-studies-at-csu/638506).

Thank the Lord, President Trump is counteracting that nonsense with American History requirements in the schools!

Thank the Lord that President Trump is a President that understands the importance of our American History and does not duck and cower when the demonrats have piss fits and start throwing crap. President Trump boldly and firmly stands up for our great Nation: for every bite of the axe the demonrats lay to the foundation of our country … President Trump meets them head-on with determination of truth, facts, and a total grip on the reins of rationality – turning the radical tide and pulling America upright again.

Is President Trump perfect? No. 

BUT, he IS perfect for this moment in our history.

THANK GOD.

This news, yesterday, makes me very happy. It makes me happy knowing that the brakes are being applied to the demonrat out-of-control-crazy-train-violent and intolerant freak show; and that by Elohim’s faithful grace, perhaps other parents will not suffer the pain and suffering Bob and I have.

There’s no way to know for sure, but I’ve always believed that if our schools had been sticking to academics instead of 3rd world doctrines and perverted sex courses, ALL our lives could have been a whole lot less stressful.

For all of our married life, it seems … I fought so hard to keep stress at a minimum in our life: Bob had died twice in the first 7 years of our life together. Keeping him alive was my main concern – and if that meant certain people (like his asshole brother, ralph) no longer crossed our threshold; that was fine with us. ralph lived to cause trouble and chaos: Bob couldn’t have trouble being dumped on him, and chaos would kill him. If that meant certain phone calls no longer got through; that was a good thing – we bought a phone that monitored calls … we could return them at our leisure/or not, if ‘not’ was the better choice for a peaceful life. We opted for a quiet/low-key life, and we did what we had to survive and keep Bob alive.

We didn’t feel the need to explain or apologize.

Especially to our kids, who should have stood with us; and by us. We were the parents, and we would do what was best for our family.

But the kids brought school-induced-stress into the home … and Alex brought divorce bitterness with him when he came to visit. Both kids were told by their teachers, “your parents are out of touch” – “they don’t understand you: it is your right to rebel” – “the Holocaust never happened” (Stacey even lived with a neo-nazi boyfriend to defy us) – “socialism benefits you” – “communal communism is satisfactory” – “you have the right to close your bedroom door and have sex regardless of what your parents think” – “you do not need your parent’s permission to get birth control pills from the school clinic” – “a school counselor will make an abortion appointment for you; your parents never have to know”. The list was endless in teaching our daughter how to ruin her life … and make ours miserable. Gloria just told Alex he didn’t have to listen to me because I was not his mother – and he constantly tried to pit us against each other.

It didn’t take long for the kids to view our home as a jail, and us as “abusive” jailers.

This put a tremendous amount of stress on Bob and I – and Bob couldn’t be stressed … which, of course, stressed me out: which in turn, stressed Bob out. And around and around it went until everyone was stressed to the max.

Alex graduated and fell off the face of the earth for 2 years. More stress.

Stacey, listening to her clueless friends’ preaching emancipation rhetoric, left home at 16. Her life was hard – it’s still hard: her choice.

We worried about our kids … and later, our grandkids.

Our home was stressed.

Our life was stressed.

Bob was stressed.

I remember one afternoon, about 4 years ago; we were visiting with his siblings at his sister’s house. Someone asked, “Hey, Bobby, how’s the kids?” Bob snorted, and replied, “What kids? I have two assholes – I don’t hear from either of them unless they need or want something. And they treat Val like shit when they show up.” Everyone chuckled because they were going through their own stuff with their own kids. But it wasn’t funny to Bob; Bob wasn’t chuckling. Bob was hurt; Bob’s eyes were sad, and my heart hurt for him. Even now, my eyes sting remembering how sad his eyes looked.

I don’t know how it was when Alex was born, but I do know that Bob was tickled pink when Stacey was born – and she was the apple of his eye: his ‘sweetpea’. He was hurt that she was disrespecting us; and treating us like we were nobodies. We hadn’t heard from Alex in months, and hadn’t seen his girls even longer … and we had no idea at all where Stacey had run with our 18-month grandson. We were seriously concerned for all of them.

The kids, with lives always in disarray and continually at loose ends, kept heaping stress on us until Bob took his last breath. And they both kept heaping major stresses on me after Bob stepped off this planet. Those of you who have read my Blog through the years went through all of that with me – thank you for never once being judgmental.

It’s sad.

It’s ridiculously childish.

And it’s unnecessary.

And now, we Citizens of America are in serious danger of losing our great Nation to the stressful insanity of the entitlement-minded-brats coached by demonrat school pogroms – and the resulting violent insanity that is playing out in our streets, in living color.

Unleashed and volatile aimless hated.

Violent mindless disrespect for anyone/anything.

Poisoned minds and angry outlooks on life.

Empty hearts and entitlement mentality.

And my kids and grandkids are supporting that!

Adding fresh heartache to the heartache I was already dealing with.

While I am typing this post, my neighbor just called to warn me that thieves have been roaming the Park: her teenage daughter’s bike was stolen from their carport sometime last night after they went to bed. And other residents have reported thefts from their properties too. She was filing a police report, but we know nothing will come of that – the police will take the report, then tell her, “we can make a report, but we don’t have the manpower to patrol that area.”

We live in a mobile home park on the outskirts of town – it’s a very nice Park, but it is not a gated community. And the background checks are not as stringent as they used to be before candy scott became manager. Over the past 2 years, my husband was killed by stress-overload due to candy’s egomania – theft and property damage is a frequent occurrence – and there was a murder last year … one street away from my street. A couple months ago, City Council was actually considering transporting the homeless tent camp that set up on City Hall grass, to the Willow Grove area – about 100 paces from the Park. Once the vagrants got wind of that, they slowly started trickling this way. And even though, that plan was scrapped … there has been a noticeable increase in strangers strolling through the Park, craning their necks to see what they can see in carports; and aimless bike riding around and around the Park streets.

The police will do nothing: the governors ordered the emptying of the jails under the false flag of covid hysteria … and ordered the police to stand down on criminal activity.

It’s craziness.

It is what it is: this mess is my new life.

But, my life doesn’t have to stay a mess.

Anti-Interference Noise Shield

I am glad we have a President who fights for America and the legal American Citizens, because frankly – I am tired of fighting alone for a peaceful corner of the world I inhabit.

All my childhood/teen years, I fought to make sure my siblings were safe in an unsafe home environment: I don’t hear from any of them.

All my married life, I fought to keep my husband alive, and our kids/grandkids safe, sheltered, cared for and loved; Bob eventually died a stress-related death anyway … and the kids have tweaked ‘the story’ to fit their own delusional angsts; poisoning their kids’ thoughts, and permanently severing ties.

All my widowed life – all 21 months of it – I realize that it is time, now, that I fight to save me.

There is no one else standing beside me.

Just me.

I am fighting for me.

Today I have unburdened a few more threads of the 44 year old tapestry of our life that I have not shared with another living soul … except Bob, when he was still walking Earth as a flesh and blood man.

My heart is lighter.

My eyes are brighter.

My shoulders are lighter.

My steps are bouncier. 

My thoughts are getting lighter.

I’m seeing life in color again.

My life will be immensely lighter.

It’s my turn, now …

My Blog posts will be much lighter/brighter.