I WON'T BACK DOWN

Friday, August 23, 2019

ALL I ASK FOR ANYMORE


When Bob died the 2nd time in 1981 - he was returned to me a new man: saved, sealed, and delivered.

He never looked back.

He was {all in} ... he'd been to Hell: and he knew he'd been given a free pass.

Elohim had favored him with grace.

And Bob never wasted that grace.

Every morning he woke up thanking God he'd been given reprieve to serve Elohei - love his wife - and watch his children grow up.

He was rewarded with 3 granddaughters ... and a welcomed grandson, who came later in life - but "on time" according to Elohim's timeline ;-)

And every night, for the past 38 years, I would hear him say, "Thank You, Lord: please watch over my wife and kids. That's all I ask for anymore."

I'm sorry, Baby, that I've been slippin'.

I have just been missing you SO BAD these past 8 months.

I skid off the rails on a Crazy Train headed for cliff with Me, Myself, and I ...

For a bit.

But, now, I think I'm getting back on track.

And I'll step up, stand with you, and cover your back again - like I used to do when I still had you here, with me.

So, when you are standing next to Yeshua tonight, and looking down on me with your beautiful hazel Asian eyes, and asking Elohim to "please watch over my wife and kids. That's all I ask for anymore", your sexy mouth will be pulled back in a generous smile, when you see me lift up the Banner & hear me repeating your nightly prayer - with a slightly different twist, hoping for the same outcome: "Thank You, Lord: please watch over my kids & grandkids - and don't let me fall down any more on the job entrusted to me by the husband you blessed me with. That's all I ask for anymore."

Thank you, Bob for our kids - I'll keep them ALL before Yeshua's face; and by His grace, they WILL ALL GET THERE TOO.

I'm standing up now, and I won't let you down.

I love you, Babe.

Always.

OX

HE ALWAYS GAVE ME HIS BEST


Bob WAS my fantasy man.

In EVERY way.

But …

He was also 100% REAL man.

In the flesh,

Who loved me like a man.

What a man!

I love you, Babe.

Always.

OX

WE LEARNED LOVE FROM EACH OTHER



When Bob & I first met, we were pretty soured on love.

Love had not been kind to us.

We always knew something was lacking.

Both of us were in relationships that were barely surviving on emergency measures.

The life-saving efforts were no longer working in those relationships.

Bob’s 1st marriage had died so many deaths, that resurrection time had come and gone. It was going up in flames; never to rise again …

Doug & I had played the field for SO long, we had lost sight of the goalpost. The ‘understanding’ was suffering a debilitating beating on the open field.

So, when we first met, face-to-face at his house – at a kegger Doug had thrown (Doug & Bob were working together & Doug was renting an upstairs room at Bob’s house), neither of us were interested in love.

But we WERE interested in each other.

A LOT.

We said “Hello!” to each other … and ‘goodbye’ to the others.

And our love-weary/love-leery hearts woke up.

We KNEW that this time, love might be kind ;-)

It felt true.


We learned how to love from each other ...

And we ran with it.

It was a good run.

A breathless 45 years, that never got old.

LOVE ME LIKE THERE'S NO TOMORROW


Bob would always grab me, pull me on his lap - start nibbling my ear, and say, "What a way to go ... let's go."

And we'd softly laugh all the way down the hallway, so we wouldn't wake up the kids.

We always loved like there was no tomorrow.

Because we never knew, after he died the 2nd time & Elohim sent him back to me, IF there would be a tomorrow.

We always woke up thankful for another day.

And grateful to be so favored with a good life, good loving, and a good promise.

Until December 14th, 2018. 8:05 a.m.

And though our tomorrows had officially ended with me holding his hand BESIDE his bed ... instead of cuddling IN bed ...

I WAS THANKFUL Elohim has favored us with those extra 38 years of solid & steady "love me like there's no tomorrow" tomorrow's.

For 45 years, Bob gave me his best - and he left me with wonderful memories.

I love you, Babe.

Always.

OX