Wedding Song - God Knew That I Needed You

Saturday, December 10, 2022

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

Already there is trouble in Paradise.

Honesty is a HUGE THING with me.

And any man in my life has to put me first, before anyone else.

Now, I understand that Mr. Complication wasn't aware of the second point ... but he certainly knew about the first point, because he's heard me stress it e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y., for 15 freaking m.o.n.t.h.s. - not specifically to him, but as a GENERAL RULE in my life.

The honesty thing today may not seem like a big deal to him; but it is a big deal to me: and I made SURE he got that message tonight around 5:30 P.M. And quick on the heels of that message I added, "and another thing, while we're 'clearing the air' ... any man who wants me in their life needs to MAKE SURE I come next in their life after Christ: Christ FIRST, because that is how it is with me; and I damned well better come in SECOND after Christ, because that is how I treat my significant person – if that's too hard a line for you to follow, then I am not the one you need. I know what I bring to the table. I'm not afraid to eat alone – better alone, than feeling insignificant. These 2 things are not a request: they are A REQUIREMENT!"

Building a relationship is never easy, but SERIOUSLY?????

It's elementary, Sherlock.


Meatloaf – ‘Life Is A Lemon & I Want My Money Back’ song: (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KanegVORJYE)

UPDATE: Around 8:41 P.M., Mr. Complication called with an apology – and a promise to not hide anything else from me ever again, thinking he’s protecting me. And, he’s going to go to Fellowship with me tomorrow, at a different gathering; he’ll meet me there after taking care of a certain problem (afore mentioned problem #2, mentioned above).

It’s an olive branch moment 😊

A TIMELY MESSAGE

The majority of my Shabbat Rest was peaceful, today.

Fallout from last night's rain storm.
My 2nd Angel-Wing Begonia is blossoming.
These will go with me, tomorrow; I'll keep one aside for Becky.
Happy to get Becky's text.
No sad December 14th, this year.

The text is a timely message: next Wednesday is my 4 Year Widow Date. I’m glad I’ll be spending it laughing this year, with a long-standing friend who loves me like a sister; and I’ll get to catch up on news concerning her husband, that I love very much (like a goofy brother) – her kids, and toddling granddaughter, and the Fall vaca-trip they took down South. This year I am actually looking forward to December 14th 😉

Things got a little sideways around 5:30 P.M., and I put Mr. Complication back on ice, for a while. He may think he’s ready for a relationship with me, but I think he needs more reflective time. There is a lot going on that I can’t get into at the moment, and it is pressing on our budding relationship; putting us both in a very difficult spot individually (we do not agree on it, at all); and once my intuition kicked in – and my suspicions were confirmed (not another woman – just some social nonsense that needs to be settled), I sent him a Dear John textand that grabbed his attention real quick.

‘Trouble In Paradise’ Post: (https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2022/12/trouble-in-paradise_10.html)

He immediately got on the phone, “Hey Baby, what’s up?”

I said, “My temper is up.” And I explained why – colorfully, and in minute detail so he couldn’t possibly misunderstand what I was saying. After several times of listening to his interjecting lame excuses; I just broke in saying, “Holland. Holland! You are not listening to what I’m saying …”, then, I just ended the convo with, “We aren’t talking the same language. I think we need to cool our jets for a bit until you figure out what you really want. I think you want a lukewarm tea type of woman – and I’m not that. I’m a hurricane when the wind blows the wrong way. I want a man in my life that doesn’t hide things from me, thinking he’s protecting me: I can protect myself. I want a man in my life that puts my peace of mind and happiness before anything, or anyone else – and what I hear you saying is that you aren’t with me on this, in this situation. I know you’re in a tough spot … but I am not; I don’t see this situation resolving itself, like you do. I’m done with that, and I’m done listening to excuses.”

I’ll miss him.

He really needs to spend some time thinking about what he really wants. And he needs to decide for him; not to get back in my good graces. As long as the problem stands between us, he’ll be on ice (not as a friend, but there will be no future for us to go beyond friendship): there will never be any agreement concerning the divisive circumstances – we just see it too differently. I will not enter into a relationship where I will be unequally yoked.