Well … Elohim granted me another day of life: I
woke up this morning after last night’s harrowing asthma attack.
Last night I had gone to bed drained, sore, and
still struggling to breathe after I was finally able to use my inhaler; and I
honestly did not believe I’d make it through the night – even with my fancy electrical
bed that rises my upper body to allow easier breathing.
But Elohim apparently thinks I have more to do,
here on Earth; and has granted me a stay with the Grim Reaper in my life’s
timeline.
This is the second serious asthma attack this
year; and the most serious one - I literally could not suck air in. I felt like plastic wrapping had been placed over my face: I could feel blood vessels popping on my face, chest, and in my throat. It lasted longer, was very severe, and nearly gave me a heart attack on top of it (my left arm, as well as my rib cage, was still aching when I went to bed).
Christmas
Eve Asthma Attack: https://jeastofeden.blogspot.com/2021/12/christmas-eve-asthma-attack.html
I am glad I was able to talk with our oldest granddaughter
from the East Coast, yesterday – before the attack.
My niece-daughter, in Nevada, texted me this
morning, bright and early 😊
And, she
called before noon: my throat was sore/voice was hoarse from the
strenuous coughing last night; and when she asked why … I told her. I also told
her to enjoy her holiday and not worry about me, as I am breathing easier this
morning – and I am alive.
She told me that I “need someone” in my life … and I told her I’m
thinking about it.
Bob will always be my man – but he wanted me to get on with life; and he understood that I
would need someone I could count on to be with me in times like last night. Bob
knew I would never love anyone else like him: but Bob also knew I’d need a
friend in my life who cares if I live or die; someone who would help me get
over the hump of bad times like last night. When one is literally
suffocating … it helps to have another person around who can think clearly and
step into the gap.
I made
light of the possibility of my dying, and no one would know until the stench
made it obvious to anyone passing by my house.
That is a real concern.
No loving husband; a real
helpmate.
No kids who care enough to
care.
No grandkids
who live nearby; they care, they just aren’t readily available to help.
No friends who are “close friends”.
I did
make arrangements shortly after becoming a Widow – I informed family members on both sides, of my heart and lung issues, asked a few of them if they’d be my contacts (they said yes) – and I made extra housekeys
… and handed them out.
All the people who should be calling daily to check up on me (those with house
keys for that specific reason), have not called. AT ALL; 2019 was
2 years ago. The ”networking” is not working. Communication is full of
static; and the links are broken.
I do
have friends. But, they have families of their own. When it comes to “hookups”,
they think of getting together for coffee, and occasional lunches/suppers
– they are not thinking of checking up on me to make sure I am alive day to day;
I am a friend – I am not their family member.
None of these people understand what it is to be totally alone; I am not faulting them - by and large, they are good people who have embraced me - but, they have people in thier lives 24/7/365: they cannot comprehend that I am quite literally a.l.o.n.e. in life with life threatening issues, on a daily basis (weak lungs/faulty heart). They all joke about needing to be alone (jokingly wishing away thier hubby and kids "that annoy them"), but they don't understand the seriousness that a solo lobo life entails.
And then there is the 24/7/365 covid hysteria that has people (even
some of those mentioned above) too scared to risk getting involved: making a house call to
see why I am not answering my phone will not be happening from scaredy-cats.
And if I cannot breathe; I cannot
call 911.
If I die, no one will know
but me and God.
All that said …
I saw through phone
notifications yesterday, that snow would be arriving around 5 AM this morning, so – when I stumbled off to bed last night, I
set the alarm clock ‘just in case’ I actually woke up: this snowbaby
likes to watch the first flakes of snow falling 😊
However, snow did not make an appearance this morning.
As of yet (12:42 PM), snow still is not on the air.
There is snow on the KM (about 45 minutes away); there is snow on Beaver
Creek (a few miles up the road; maybe 10 minutes away); there is snow up
Rose Valley (maybe 10 minutes the opposite direction); there is snow up the
Toutle (about 25 minutes away) … but no snow locally (in immediate vicinity;
town).
While I wait for the “ify” snow
predicted; I’m going to snuggle under Bob’s comfy recliner blanket, drink
peppermint flavored coffee (coffee is good for asthma – peppermint is good
for my holiday mood 😉), and finish
reading my last Christmas novel.
Coffee &
Asthma: https://allergyasthmanetwork.org/news/coffee-and-asthma/
All three stories in the novel are
based around a town named Mistletoe, Texas.
It finally started snowing a little after 4 PM 😊
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